“No. I really want to know if you’re nailing her and if, because of it, you’ll pull some spare her life and let me go shit. ’Cause this only ends one way, brother—with you getting your light back and being unbound from Abaddon. I don’t care what has to go down for it to happen. And then we’re going to banish the darkness from this asshole once and for fucking all.”
“None of it matters without my light. The only way I stay in existence until then is being directly plugged into Donny.”
“We’ll figure it out. We haven’t even stabbed you yet.” His lips turn up into a smirk, and he throws back his drink.
“Right,” I say dryly. “Plan Z.”
I rub a hand over my face and bypass my glass for the bottle. Which works out since, by the time I finish a long pull, Cass has emptied mine too. The second one hits the counter harder than the first.
“And don’t think dodging the Nyx question isn’t an answer.” Then he grabs the crystal from beside the bag. “Please stay put for the rest of the night. I’d really like to get my girlfriend worked up for a reason other than to save you.”
He waits for my nod but not long enough for me to comment before he tosses the stone into the bag. It forces him to drop out of my apartment, and I put the bag away, mentally listing all the things I could have said.
The lamp’s off when I go back to the bedroom. I lay the amulet with my phone on the nightstand, the crystal still active. Its soft glow touches Nyx’s face and shows her tied hands tucked under her pillow. I wonder if she tested the give. If she noticed I’d left the knot looser than usual. Not enough that she could get it undone, just a little less secure. Less than last night when I hadn’t tightened it all the way and the night before that.
Cass’s words swim in my head while I watch her. All the reasons to shut down whatever this is with her. Our messy ending where both she and her sister die, one of them not coming back and the other hating me.
I drag my shirt over my head, throwing it on the floor as I climb in with her. She sighs the second my lips find hers, and then her hands slide up my neck, her fingers pushing through my hair. I roll her onto her back, needing to feel her against me. It’s the only time my mind shuts off all the shit—locked in my fucking box with her.
Us. Here. I want her. Just her.
I’m a pyromaniac who’s been left alone with an open flame. It was only a matter of time before I lit myself on fire. And fuck, am I ready to burn.
The next morning, I ask my brothers to come over at the ass crack of dawn before Nyx wakes up. Cass and Rosdan are already exchanging glances on the couch, Hannah between them. Since we rarely surprise one another, I doubt what I brought them here for will come out of left field for either of them. So, I jump straight into it without offering pastries and coffee.
“I want to tell her,” I say.
Cass exhales and slouches into the cushions, and Rosdan tugs at the back of his hair. Then the silence kicks in—and it’s loud as fuck. But I need all three of them to be on board, so I wait through it. I stare at my hands, slowly passing the glowing amulet between them. It keeps the shadows mobile, more tolerable while they shift from one side to another.
“She’ll want to use it on her sister,” Rosdan finally says.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“You can’t let her,” Cass adds.
Another nod. “Yeah.”
I might not know what the fuck is happening with Nyx, but I know all of this. But she also deserves the truth. That Abaddon lied about lying. Pure Essence of Creation can be made, and not only that … I’ve had access to it all along.
“Wait, what are you telling her?” Hannah looks first at me, then at Cass before ending on Rosdan. “What will she want to use?” Her questioning comes back to me, and Cass’s jaw tightens.
“The essence Nyx wants for her sister.” He massages his temple with one hand and her shoulder with the other. “It’s the dust that was left over from creation.”
Rosdan sits back and sighs. “A few scribbles on a paper and a Nephilim, and we can make more.”
“The dust?” Hannah asks. “My dust?”
I almost laugh at my dust, like the very essence of all things created belongs to her because she’s one of the eight beings currently in existence who could create it without God’s assistance. She didn’t even know what it was a few months ago. About the dust or the Book of the Speech from God that was used for every reboot of creation, let alone that she could read the language it was written in.
Her eyes drift around the room while she pieces the rest together. “So, if her theory about the dust works, then she could keep her sister alive?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Cass says.
“She can’t even try,” Rosdan continues. “If she only has one resurrection left, we’ll need it to unbind Chaz from Donny after we get his light back.”
He looks to me, waiting for my reaction. But fuck if I have one. So much of my existence has focused on protecting man—and I’ve spent the entirety of my mortal life watching over Nyx.
Now, I’ll need to let one die and crush her if I want to save myself.
Before I even attempt to open my eyes, they feel dry. I rub one and then peek at the single hand, my other still on the mattress. Not something that should normally confuse someone, but in my current situation, I expect my hands to come as a pair this early.
Chaz looks amused when I blink the rest of the way awake. “And here I thought you’d appreciate not being tied up in the morning. Guess I’ll make a note—hostage wants to be bound. Not a beneficial method of torture.”
I laugh, and he smiles. It fades fast, but his expression stays soft. Something about him feels different after last night. Warmer despite the coolness of his skin. He studies me for a long time and then sweeps my hair away from my face.
We haven’t done this before, just lie here together. I creep my hand across the space between us. His gaze flicks down when I reach the scar on his side, but he brings his eyes to mine again without stopping me. I run over his abs and up his chest and neck. The stubble on his jaw scrapes my fingertips. He turns into my touch, closing his eyes as he kisses my palm. His lips brush my skin again and again. Only then, his brow draws in. He slides his hand over mine, pressing it to his mouth harder before he pulls it away.
“Fuuuck, Nyx,” he says. He opens his eyes, and they’ve changed in the past few seconds. His thumb rubs over the inside of my wrist, and he’s watching the movement instead of me. “I have to tell you something.”
“What?” I ask.
He lifts his head, and I haven’t seen this Chaz yet. A hard swallow bobs his throat, concern etched in his face. His perfect fucking face, sending me into a panic.
“Did Nyla’s nurse call? Is she…”
“No.” He shakes his head, emphasizing.
I let out a relieved breath, my entire body relaxing until he moves my hand back to my side of the gap.