“About time,” Kai says as I cross in front of the TV to a shitty papasan chair. The wicker creaks under me, and I’ll count myself lucky if it holds for the next few minutes until I leave.
Kai tosses me a set of chopsticks, but I throw them right back.
“I already ate,” I say, glancing at my phone.
I haven’t, and I am starving, but it’s almost eight, which means—
“Shit.” Avery drops her chopsticks into the container before setting it on the end table. She grabs her laptop out of her bag on the floor and then rushes into the hall that leads to their bedrooms.
Weekly video chat with their grandparents for the save.
Kai’s not far behind, sliding out from under Nyx’s legs. He rounds the couch and leans over the back to plant a kiss on the top of her head. “Be back in a few.”
She nods. “Take your time.”
We both watch him until he disappears too.
A few seconds later, Avery says, “Hi, Grandpa,” and Kai shuts the door, muffling her voice.
I’ve already stood by the time Nyx turns her head around, and I feel her tracking me through the living room.
“Really?” she says. “You’d rather leave than be alone with me for five minutes?”
I stop a few feet from the end of the couch. “Who said I was leaving?”
I was, but now that she called me out, I veer into the kitchen. When I come back with a beer, I take Avery’s seat and pull her carton of dumplings onto my lap.
“Oh.” Nyx twists at the gold earring wrapping around her cartilage. “Sorry. I thought you—”
“Weren’t mature enough to treat meaningless sex like exactly that?” I open a set of chopsticks and add, “Trust me, it will take more than you to get rid of me.”
She drops her hand and presses her lips together, glancing at the closed door like Kai will burst out and save her. Serves her right. I could be across the hall already instead of swimming in awkward silence.
“So,” she says after a minute.
Oh, fuck me. I should have just left.
“How did you and Kai meet?” She smiles, tight-lipped and forced as hell. “He said you’ve been friends for a while but didn’t give me any details.”
“Skydiving.”
“You’re one of those people too, huh?”
I look up, dumpling suspended halfway to my mouth, and a hint of her real smile appears.
“Ready to throw yourself out of a plane or off a cliff like you have a death wish,” she says.
I snort. “Not exactly.”
It’s more like, I was sick of constantly trying to differentiate between real danger and the kid's adrenaline. I needed a way to keep closer tabs before I went insane—or even worse, before I missed something. Now, I can be right there with him, enjoying the rush of light while we casually fall from ten thousand feet.
Nyx waits until I’m done chewing and readjusts, bringing a knee up to her chest. “Explain it to me then because I don’t understand why Kai does it.” One more glance over her shoulder. “What’s the appeal?”
“It has nothing to do with wanting to die. The exact opposite, actually. The thrill makes him feel alive.”
Kai’s done the same math I have, noticed the pattern emerging in his lineage. He thinks he’ll die young and plans to do all the living he can before it happens. Even as an immortal, I get it. If I thought I would lose the light forever, I would be doing whatever I could to drown in it. To feel it in every space of my being for as long as I could before it was gone.
She studies me for a second. “But not you?”
I shrug, less interested in the conversation now than thirty seconds ago. The next question she asks, I’ll fake a phone call. But instead, she stares at the couch cushion between us. “I guess that’s the difference between Kai and me.”
I should leave it, but the word tumbles out of my mouth. “What?”
“I’m not so worried about feeling alive as much as I am interested in surviving.” She looks up. “You know?”
My jaw clenches as I nod, dropping my attention back to the container in my hand. Surviving. What my entire time on Earth has been in a sense. Just getting through each day, snailing my way toward what I really want.
Nyx averts her gaze fast when I look up, but not fast enough for me to not notice she was still staring at me. She scans the room, pretending I didn’t catch her. I rest my head on the cushion, my face turned to see her. It doesn’t take long at all for her eyes to return to me, and they stay fixed on mine.
Ninety percent of us knowing each other has been just this. Watching each other. From across the bar, from down the couch. She leans to the side, her cheek against the fabric. Fuck, I need to leave. Haul my ass across the hall and stop imagining take two with her.
Maybe Nyx comes to the same conclusion because when a faded laugh reaches us, she jerks her head up. She checks the door before swinging her feet off the couch.
“Tell Kai I needed to go?” she asks, slipping on her shoes.
She doesn’t wait for my answer, beelining for the door. Unlike her, I make no attempt to stop her. In fact, I’ve just made the decision to lie low until this chick vacates Kai’s life. Back to shadow mode. And while I’m at it, I need to get laid. Preferably by a woman who can keep her damn eyes to herself.
“I have got to get rid of Nyx.”
Kai lets himself in while I fucking sing the “Hallelujah” chorus inside. Once he’s rifled through my cupboards for chips and grabbed us beers, he falls onto my sofa. I crack open my can and throw back the footrest on the recliner. His announcement is unsurprising since he’s creeping up on the three-week mark of no sex.
He leans forward, hanging his head between his shoulders. “You can fucking tell just by looking at me that I haven’t gotten any, huh?”
“Yeah, you’ll have to explain that one to me.”
Kai slumps back, sipping his beer and staring off at nothing. “She said she’s sick of meaningless sex and she wants something real.”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “That sounds like the opposite of everything you want.”
He shrugs. “It is. But she’s so hot, dude. You know she’d be a phenomenal lay. Maybe I should just hold out a little longer.”
Before I can encourage him to lose her number, he snaps his head up, digging in his pocket for his phone. “Shit.” He stares at the screen, and I get a flash of warmth in my chest. “There’s a fight tomorrow night. At the Border Heights Hotel.”
Underground boxing. Not my favorite of his activities, but I figure I can work it to my advantage.
“So, kick some ass in the ring, and then we’ll go celebrate by ending your dry spell.”
The smile spreads across his face in record time.
Fuck. Yes. My charge is back.
The first sign of warmth hits my chest as we cross the dark parking lot. We take the service entrance into the hotel. The light stays at a steady stream and then spikes with Kai’s first step over the threshold. Adrenaline runs high on fight nights and not just in him. The air buzzes, everyone in the room on another frequency. It also means a cramped space with sweaty mortals with just as much alcohol seeping out of their pores and a fifty-fifty shot at someone puking near me.