“What.” I don’t even say it like a question, because I don’t want to be asked anything.
He sighs as he walks closer and grabs the plate of uneaten food beside me. “You need sleep.”
I clench my jaw because he’s right but he’s clearly stating the obvious and it’s irritating.
“Is that all you came up here to tell me?”
I stare down at Pippa in the garden pointing to people and calling out instructions on the walkie talkie in her hand. I got her that last week when I noticed her voice was hoarse from having to call out so loud all the time. I gave them to every person who comes on the property so she doesn’t have to be next to them to tell them what to do. Myself included. I reach down and touch the device next to me and turn up the volume so I can hear what she's saying. That’s another thing I didn’t like. She would go talk to people and I would be so far away I wouldn’t know what she was saying.
“I heard Miss Pippa tell you to come up here and I was checking to see if you’re all right.”
“Of course I’m all right!” I’m not all right.
Two weeks of being around her every moment of every day. Two weeks of eating meals with her and reading in the library together at night while she knits. Two weeks of memorizing every curve of her body and every fleck of gold in her eyes. Two weeks of agony and need that I have no outlet for because my body has betrayed me.
My cock is in a perpetual state of frustration with no sense of relief in sight. I’ve tried jerking off, but I can’t ever get to completion. Maybe if I could release some of this weight in my cock I wouldn’t be in so much pain. Maybe if she wasn’t so goddamn beautiful I wouldn’t pine after her like some starving puppy begging for any scrap of attention she gives me.
Why does she smile so much? Why is she so damn happy every day when she walks into the kitchen?
When I see her long tousled hair and rosy cheeks, it’s what I imagine she’d look like after I made love to her and every morning my day starts off in frustration.
“Enough,” Simon says sharply, and I turn around to look at him with wide eyes.
“What do you mean enough?”
“Do you think I’m blind?” When I raise an eyebrow at him he rolls his eyes. “Do you think I’m stupid?”
I sigh as I push away from the window. “No,” I admit, because Simon is one of the smartest men I know.
“You will never win her over with the way you’ve been acting around her.”
“I don’t want to win her over.” I walk past him to the other side of the study and sit down at my desk. The lie hangs between us for a moment but he doesn’t call me on it.
“The party is happening in two days, and she doesn’t have a gown yet.”
“Have some dresses brought in,” I answer as I immediately click away on my keyboard looking for a personal shopper.
“Timber, this is an opportunity for you.” Simon talks to me softly as if I’m a child.
“An opportunity for what? The party is almost here which means she’s almost done and I can finally have my life back to the way it was before she walked into it.”
The words taste bitter on my tongue and I hate how they make me feel.
“You can never go back to the way things were before you saw her and the sooner you realize that the better.”
I grumble as I look past him and to the window, desperate for him to leave so I can go back over there and watch her again.
“I’ve already taken the liberty of having some options brought in for her tonight.”
“Thank you.” My voice is low, and although I should be grateful, I’m jealous he’s done something nice for her.
“I’ve asked that the gowns be presented one by one for your viewing,” he says as he turns away from me and grabs my tray of food.
“Why?” My heartbeat begins to speed up with the anticipation of seeing her model clothes for me.
“Because like I said, this is an opportunity for you, Timber. This is a chance for you to compliment her and let her know that you find her attractive. Give her praise and make her feel special. You don’t have much more time.”
I press my lips together tightly but nod at him in answer.
“I’ll have dinner served in the parlor while she’s trying on clothes. It will be more intimate in there.”
I run my tongue along the edge of my teeth as I think about the word “intimate” in relation to Pippa.
Simon walks to the door, but before he leaves he turns back to me one last time. “Don’t fuck this up.”
I sit there stunned as he walks out without another word. He’s never spoken to me like that before and I don’t understand why he’s doing it now. Maybe he knows just how much this woman has affected me. Or maybe he’s tired of my bad mood.
Either way, he’s right.
Chapter 7
Timber
“I didn’t realize the event was so formal,” I comment as I look down the rows of dresses. Simon clears his throat behind me as he oversees the food being brought in and I remember what he told me. “It will be nice.”
I chance a glance up at Pippa and see her looking at me with wide eyes. “I’m surprised to hear you say that.”
“You’ve done a nice job on the place.” God, how many times am I going to say nice?
The lady who brought in the dresses has another lady helping her. The older woman is in charge and a tall woman with strong arms is carrying most of the clothes. I assume she’s the assistant. The two of them are working to set up the racks of clothes with the accessories on a side table while Simon and a few of the staff arrange the buffet nearby. Pippa and I are meant to look over the dresses then dine in here afterwards to discuss her options.
Why anyone thought that I would be a good choice for this task is beyond me, but I can’t say I would have let anyone else do the job.
“Coming from you I’ll take that as an Oscar-worthy performance.” She smiles at me over her cup of tea, and although I could kick myself for not being nicer to her, the praise warms me inside like I’m the one drinking the hot tea.
“We’ll leave you to it,” Simon says as he checks over the covered dishes and leads the staff out of the room.
The older woman introduces herself as Claire and then steps forward like she’s ready to give a speech. Everything inside of me is screaming for me to hold my hand up and tell her I don’t need the song and dance. I just want her to show us the damn dresses, but Simon’s words about not fucking this up keep ringing in my ear.
“With your gorgeous coloring and curves I’ve selected a few key pieces and one or two rogue options.” She winks at Pippa, who beams up at her, and I’m thankful I’ve kept my mouth shut.
“Thank you so much, I’m really excited.” Pippa does that thing with her lip where she bites on it for just a second then runs her tongue over it.
She does that when she’s eager, and my mind has thought of all the ways she’d do that while underneath me.
“We’ve set up a privacy screen over here.” Claire indicates to a small rack of silky things next to it. “You’ll have to change undergarments depending on the cut of the dress, but for the first one a silk slip will do.”