‘I love your hair the way it is now, and I will love it the way it will be in the future.’
‘But we have no future.’
Lale holds her firmly around her waist, forces her to meet his gaze.
‘Yes, we do. There will be a tomorrow for us. On the night I arrived here I made a vow to myself that I would survive this hell. We will survive and make a life where we are free to kiss when we want to, make love when we want to.’
Gita blushes and turns away. He gently moves her face back to him.
‘To make love wherever, whenever we want to. Do you hear me?’
Gita nods.
‘Do you believe me?’
‘I want to, but –’
‘No buts. Just believe me. Now, you’d better get back to your block before your kapo starts wondering.’
As Lale begins to walk off, Gita pulls him back and kisses him hard.
Breaking the kiss, he says, ‘Maybe I should stay away more often.’
‘Don’t you dare,’ she says, hitting him on the chest.
•
That night Ivana and Dana pepper Gita with questions, relieved to see their friend smiling again.
‘Did you tell him about your family?’ says Dana.
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘I can’t. It’s too painful to talk about … and he was so happy to see me.’
‘Gita, if he loves you as he says he does, he would want to know you have lost your family. He would want to comfort you.’
‘You might be right, Dana, but if I tell him then we’ll both be sad, and I want our time together to be different. I want to forget where I am and what’s happened to my family. And when he holds me in his arms, I do forget, just for those few brief moments. Is it wrong of me to want to escape reality for a bit?’
‘No, not at all.’
‘I’m sorry that I have my escape, my Lale. You know I wish with all my heart the same for you two.’
‘We are very happy that you have him,’ says Ivana.
‘It is enough that one of us has a little happiness. We share in it, and you let us – that’s enough for us,’ says Dana.
‘Just don’t keep any secrets from us, all right?’ says Ivana.
‘No secrets,’ says Gita.
‘No secrets,’ agrees Dana.
Chapter 14
The next morning, Lale appears in the administration office and approaches Bella at the main desk.
‘Lale, where have you been?’ Bella says with a warm smile. ‘We thought something had happened to you.’
‘Auschwitz.’
‘Ah, say no more. You must be low on supplies – wait here and I’ll stock you up.’
‘Not too much, Bella.’
Bella looks over at Gita. ‘Of course. We need to make sure you come back tomorrow.’
‘You know me too well, young Bella. Thank you.’
Bella wanders off to get his supplies and Lale leans on the desk and stares at Gita. He knows she has seen him come in but is playing coy and keeping her head down. She runs a finger over her lips. Lale aches with desire.
He also notices that the chair next to her, Cilka’s, is empty. Again he tells himself to find out what is happening with her.
He leaves the office and heads over to the selection area, having already noted that a truck has arrived with new prisoners. As he is setting up his table, Baretski appears.
‘I’ve got someone here to see you, Tätowierer.’
Before Lale can look up, he hears a familiar voice, no more than a whisper.
‘Hello, Lale.’
Leon stands beside Baretski – pale, thinner, stooped over, carefully placing one foot in front of the other.
‘I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted.’ A smiling Baretski walks off.
‘Leon, oh my god, you’re alive.’ Lale rushes to embrace him. He can feel every bone through his friend’s shirt. He holds him at arm’s length, examining him.
‘Mengele. Was it Mengele?’ Leon can only nod. Lale gently runs his hands down Leon’s skinny arms, touches his face.
‘The bastard. One day he’ll get his. As soon as I’ve finished here I can get you plenty of food. Chocolate, sausage, what do you want? I’ll fatten you up.’
Leon smiles weakly at him. ‘Thanks, Lale.’
‘I knew the bastard was starving prisoners. I thought he was only doing it to girls.’
‘If only that was all it was.’
‘What do you mean?’
Now Leon stares directly into Lale’s eyes. ‘He cut my fucking balls off, Lale,’ he says, his voice strong and steady. ‘Somehow you lose your appetite when they cut your balls off.’
Lale reels back in horror, and turns away, not wanting Leon to see his shock. Leon fights back a sob and struggles to find his voice as he searches the ground for something to focus on.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that. Thank you for your offer. I am grateful to you.’
Lale breathes deeply, trying to control his anger. He badly wants to lash out, to take revenge on the crime committed against his friend.
Leon clears his throat. ‘Any chance I can have my job back?’
Lale’s face floods with warmth. ‘Of course. Glad to have you back – but only when you’ve regained your strength,’ he says. ‘Why don’t you go back to my room? If any of the Gypsies stop you, tell them you’re my friend and I’ve sent you there. You’ll find supplies under my bed. I’ll see you when I’m done here.’
A senior SS officer approaches.
‘Go now, hurry.’
‘Hurrying is not something I can do right now.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK. I’m gone. See you later.’
The officer watches Leon walk off and turns back to what he was doing previously: determining who should live and die.
•
The next day, Lale reports to the administration office to be told that he has the day off. No transports are arriving at either Auschwitz or Birkenau and there is no request from Herr Doktor to assist him. He spends the morning with Leon. He’d bribed his old kapo in Block 7 to take Leon in, on the understanding he will work for him when he has regained his strength. He gives him food that he had been planning to give to his Romani friends and to Gita for distribution.