“I want to talk to you.”
“Why?” I held my glass to my lips, my eyes on hers. “What could you possibly want to say to me?”
“Why are you being so combative?” she asked almost demurely. “I just want to talk.”
“You never ‘just’,” I put finger quotes around the word, “want to do anything. You’ve had years to talk to me. Why now?”
“You’re married,” she said, her eyes never leaving mine as she dropped the seductive pose and relaxed back in the chair like she owned the place. Although considering who she was married to, I supposed it wasn’t impossible.
I’d invested in a few hotels around Europe myself. Parker might have done the same. If he hadn’t, it wouldn’t be a bad—
“Are you even listening to me?” Her shrill voice cut through my thoughts.
When I refocused on her, I shrugged. “I’m not really sorry to say I wasn’t.”
“I just told you your wife has been sleeping with my husband. Does that not bother you?”
“She’s not sleeping with him. She has slept with him. It’s very much past tense.”
“So you married my husband’s ex?” That knowing gleam I hated entered her eyes. “Were you that desperate to get my attention, Cyrus?”
“No, but if that was what you were so desperate to talk to me about, I’m out of here. I would suggest going to find your husband and talking to him about it.”
“No, I—” She released a sigh. “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What is it then, Sam? As you pointed out, I’m married. I should get back to my wife.” There was nothing I wanted to do more than to find Luna and figure out why she’d left before we’d even gotten around to having our nightcap. And why she’d seemed pissed off when she had left.
“I was so stupid to have left you for Landon. I never should have done it.” Emotion cracked in her voice, but I didn’t buy it.
Even if it was real, it wouldn’t have mattered. Whether or not she genuinely believed that she shouldn’t have left me for him was irrelevant. Because she had left, and just as surely as she had, I was over it.
Seeing her tonight had solidified it for me in a way it had never been before. I’d realized that I had never really loved Samantha. The knowledge was as terrifying as it was empowering because I’d married a woman I hadn’t loved.
What was it that Luna always said about doing it for the right reasons? Because I was sure now that I hadn’t. Everything she, Peter, and Jenny had said to me about marriage and why they believed in it was swirling around in my head, making me question if I’d been right about the institution after all.
What had happened with Samantha was what had disillusioned me about it, but if I hadn’t loved her, if I really had married her only because of infatuation or in some desperate attempt to cling to one more person, to make a family with her just so I’d have one again, maybe I needed to re-evaluate.
I swallowed a lump in my throat, but it wasn’t tears that had put it there. It was all the unsaid shit that needed to be said to Luna and yet Samantha was standing in my way of getting it done. Or sitting in my way, more accurately, but she was the reason I wasn’t with Luna right now.
“I have to go,” I said abruptly.
“No, just listen to me for one minute,” she begged, and it was only the glassiness of her eyes that made me agree. Because whatever she needed to get off her chest, if there was any chance it was going to keep her away from the bar for the rest of the tonight, she needed to say it.
I wasn’t a monster, and only a monster would leave if it meant driving her to drink even more than she already had. With her family history...
“Fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You have one minute. Go.”
“Leaving you was the worst mistake I ever made,” she started. “Landon’s an asshole. You wouldn’t believe the things he’s done to me. I should have known cheating wasn’t something that would be off-limits with him. He’s terrible.”
She sniffled, and I almost genuinely believed she was about to burst into tears. Even so, I felt nothing but a pang of empathy for a fellow human being. No regret, no want or need to have her back. Just that one little stab of empathy.
I remained silent, though, as I mostly had since this conversation started, and I motioned for her to continue. Again, not a monster. An asshole, maybe, but not a monster.
“You should hear the way he speaks to me. It’s like I’m a piece of shit who should be grateful that he’s speaking to me at all. He parades me around like a show pony, but as soon as the attention of the room shifts away from us, he’s gone.”
A choked sigh escaped her. “He’s never home before the early morning hours and he’s almost always drunk when he gets there. You know that’s a trigger for me. He gets high in front of me and he flirts with other women.”
When a tear rolled down her cheek, I stood up. I might not be a monster, but I didn’t particularly feel like being manipulated either. She grabbed my wrist and rose to her feet as well. “If I leave him, I get nothing, Cyrus. We have a pre-nup drawn up by his lawyers that I can’t beat. Unless you help me, baby. If you and I get back together—”
I jerked my arm free of her grip and narrowed my eyes. “Don’t touch me, Sam.”
“Don’t you dare walk away from me.” Her nostrils flared. “You owe it to me to have this conversation, you—”
“I don’t owe you shit. Hearing you out tonight was far more than you ever had a right to expect from me. Am I glad he treats you like shit? No. You should be happy, Sam, and one day, I hope you will be. For now, you got what you deserved. Good luck getting yourself out of it.”
Just before I turned to walk away, I sighed and dragged both hands through my hair. “For God’s sake, stay away from the bar. Find your husband and try to work things out with him. There had to have been a reason why you chose him. Whatever happens, just leave the bar, okay? He’s not worth the risk.”
Wetness I truly hadn’t believed she was capable of appeared in her eyes, and her shoulders slumped, but she nodded. “This isn’t over.”
I let my hand drift from my chest and motioned to hers. “If you mean us, then yes. It’s over. Move on, Sam. I sure as fuck have.”
Without a doubt in my mind that I’d made the right choice, I finally turned away from her and left Samantha well and truly behind. Perhaps for the first time ever, it felt like she really was where she belonged. In my past.
It still didn’t mean I was ready to get married again, nor did I know if I ever wanted to. But it did mean that for the first time since she’d left me, I was free to make my own decisions. I was done letting her and the baggage she’d caused dictate my actions.
Deciding that waiting for the elevator was a waste of time, I flung the door to the stairwell open and took them down two at a time. Since Luna and I were on the upper floors of the hotel anyway, it took me almost no time to reach her door.
I lifted my hand and started to knock before her final words played through my mind again. We’re just friends, right?
Like the idiot I was and because I’d been so wrapped up in watching Sam down shot after shot, wondering why the asshole wasn’t there to stop her, I’d said yes. Although it wasn’t like I could have said no at the time.