Emil didn’t think of it much, since the mask was only in use for a short time in winter, for caroling around Christmas and New Year, but as the crows croaked in alarm outside, a cool shiver trailed down Emil’s spine, causing a paranoid sense that the mask was the devil’s head, and his entire form might emerge from the wall, ready to strike Emil down as, he had Zofia.
His heart beat faster, but when he glanced at the phone on the side table next to him, reality grabbed his ankles and kept him in the seat. There were very real issues he needed to deal with.
He rubbed his forehead, focusing on the ancient rotary dial phone before finally gathering the courage to choose Radek’s number. The signal kept going for the longest time, and Emil was about to put the receiver down when Radek picked up, his cheerful voice clashing with the dull pain in Emil’s heart.
“When do I pick you up?”
“I’m not coming,” Emil said, leaning forward to contemplate the worn hardwood planks of the floor. “There’s been a—I know what you’re thinking, but… it’s Zofia. She was supposed to look after my animals. She’s dead.”
Radek went silent for a couple of seconds, and Emil cringed when he heard him swallow. “Poor woman. She always wore her heart on her sleeve. But, you know, there’s three hundred people in the village. It shouldn’t be too hard to get someone to take care of the animals for such a short time. You could still come over next week.”
“I’ll see about but, Radek… She’s been so terribly pecked on by crows. It was horrific. People think it’s my fault. I… I’m having a really hard time.” He was glad Radek wasn’t here, because pain and fear weren’t easy to admit to in person.
Radek’s breath creaked. “Why would they think it was your fault?”
“You know those damn birds always follow me. They must have… just gotten to her dead body, but everyone’s jumping to conclusions.”
“Emil… you can’t stay there. I don’t think they actually believe you’re at fault, that’s crazy, but you can’t be their scapegoat. You know neither of us fits in Dybukowo, and it’ll only get more toxic for you.”
Emil nodded despite knowing Radek couldn’t see him. “I might have told your dad I worship the devil and was going to teach you. Sorry. He attacked me, and I lost my cool.”
Radek laughed out loud. “He doesn’t really believe in this crap. Just keep me posted, okay?”
Emil sighed and met the mask’s empty gaze. “I will.”
Chapter 6 - Emil
Emil awoke to his fence broken down and most of his chickens gone, so he spent his morning chasing them, but when two were still missing at midday, he decided to give up on the search. The knowledge that someone had snuck into his yard, opened the henhouse, and damaged the fence just to spite him was a burning wound deep in his gut.
He had first understood that he was different when he’d accidentally touched another boy when skinny-dipping in the summer. It had been their secret, even though none of them had yet understood why physical affection between men was something forbidden. But that guy had moved to greener pastures and left Emil alone with his longing.
At that point, Emil knew not to be too open about his interest in other boys, but he’d started listening to the wrong kind of music, grew out his hair, and when a group of skinheads had turned him into a bloody pulp after a party in a nearby town, he truly understood the price of being seen as different. He’d grown harder skin and made himself believe he didn’t care, but now acid seeped in through the cracks in his exterior.
Radek was right. Emil didn’t fit in with the population of Dybukowo, and everyone could sense it. They didn’t want him here, and with his one friend so far away, the familiar ground crumbled under his feet. It no longer brought comfort but was a weight tied to his ankles and dragged him to the bottom of the river. He didn’t know how to shed it, and there was no one to ask for help.
Nature provided some solace at least, and once he was done with his chores, his feet took him down a path through the forest, then over the fields and meadows, wandering without a purpose. The wind was the only one he could share his secrets with anyway.
To think that Bieszczady were a goal destination for so many city people—the dream retirement spot for those who’d fallen in love with the mountains during their two-week vacation. They couldn’t understand that the open space might not offer the freedom they sought and become a trap. But maybe this land treated outsiders differently than it did its own?
The sun was descending toward the church by the time Emil decided to head there.
Its form was simple, like that of the large wooden homes typical of the region, with the roof sloping steeply from the top. The cone-shaped bell tower at the back was reminiscent of Eastern Orthodox churches. When he was a little boy, Grandfather had taken him there for lunch every day, so there were some fond memories of the place mixed with all those that felt bitter. Not that it mattered anymore.
All Emil wanted was to go where he could be around people, yet not have his peace disturbed. Somewhere he wouldn’t feel so alone. He wasn’t yet ready to face the broken fence, and needed peace if he was to come up with a way to make money and escape the hold Dybukowo had on him.
An elderly neighbor left the church grounds with his grandchildren, but took their hands and sped up as soon as he spotted Emil. As hurtful as that was, it meant Emil might get the peace he wished for. Dinnertime was approaching fast, so the handful of truly devoted worshipers who treated the church as their private gossip club would surely be at home.
But mealtimes didn’t matter to Emil, since he had no one to eat with anyway. He put on a brave face most days, but the truth was, he fondly remembered the days when he still had Grandpa to take care of him. Each day, they would enter the church grounds through the cast iron gate and pass the church on the way to the parsonage. Mrs. Luty had been as grumpy as she was now, but back then she always had sweets for him, and even a kind word from time to time. They would all sit around the large oak table, surrounded by pictures of saints, and chat about their day. Like a family. Too bad Mrs. Luty had cut ties with Emil as soon as Grandpa died.
Emil was relieved to find the church empty.
The perfect silence of the tall walls covered in wooden panels freed up space in Emil’s brain. He swallowed and walked toward the altar where a baroque painting of the crucifixion was embedded in a frame of white stone. Emil found it poetic that an artwork depicting the moment humanity had been cleansed from evil was paired with wooden figures of the very people who, according to the Bible, unleashed sin on the world. Adam and Eve, clad in vine branches, faced Christ in relaxed poses, unaware of the danger lurking above.
A tree, meticulously carved into a twisted shape, emerged from behind the painting. Its branches, lacquered and heavy with fruit, overshadowed both the painting and the two sculptures. And high up, in its impressive crown, the snake awaited its victims.
Emil was an adult man, but he still remembered how this allegorical depiction of Satan used to frighten him in childhood. The wooden sculpture was stylized, but the way it remained hidden in plain sight between the wooden leaves and apples had been what really creeped Emil the fuck out. The devil should not be present during worship, yet this one watched the congregation with its red eyes every single day, as if it was choosing who to follow home.