“I’ve got no money, I’ve never held down a job, and on top of all that, I’ve got Jinx to think of, and I’m beginning to realize I will never leave this godforsaken village. That’s just the reality of it.” Saying it out loud made Emil’s heart heavy. There was a finality to admitting to someone how much of a failure he was.
The torch cast a warm glow on Adam’s face. Handsome, with eyes like jewels, it was in such stark contrast with the somber cassock, the thick, black fabric seemed like a trap, an anchor to keep him from rising off the ground. “Hope is hard to come by sometimes,” he said and gave Emil’s free hand a squeeze.
Emil’s throat tightened. “I must sound so miserable to you, but I’m not like this all the time. And I do love this forest. I love my house. I love living next to a stream and going on horse rides. It’s just that… sometimes I feel trapped, you know?” He and Adam had led such completely different lives, but what made them similar would be enough for Adam to understand where he was coming from. The night they’d spent together felt special, and he didn’t want to hide behind a mask any longer. “But I turn thirty tonight. I don’t know how yet, but I will turn over a new leaf.”
Adam’s mouth twitched, and he let go of Emil before digging into the pocket of his cassock. “Maybe this can bring you some luck,’ he said and unfolded a delicate golden chain necklace with a tiny cross pendant.
“Is this to save my sinful soul?” Emil asked with a smirk, but wrapped his hair around his hand and pulled it up, exposing his neck.
“I know you’re not religious, but I am. And I will pray so the tide turns for you,” Adam said as he stepped closer. Hesitation passed over his features, but he eventually reached behind Emil’s neck to fasten the necklace. The dainty chain of metal links was warm from Adam’s body heat when it brushed Emil’s skin, but neither of them said anything until Adam leaned back and put his hands in his pockets. “Happy birthday.”
The urge to kiss him was so violent he took a step back to create more distance between them. “Thank you. I’m sure it will bring me good fortune.” Sparks flew off his skin and jumped onto Adam’s cassock, but he stood no chance in setting Adam on fire. Adam’s resolve to resist him was far too great, and it wouldn’t have been fair to test it again and again. Adam smirked and looked away, settling his gaze on the rock cavity once more.
“Have you ever been in there?”
Emil shook off the sense of inaccessible sweetness beyond the reach of his lips and raised the torch, trying to inspect what was farther in, but it seemed the passage came to an abrupt end only a few paces into the cliff. It was empty.
“No. Doubt anyone’s tried to go in there, to be honest. It’s pretty well disguised, and we’re far from the village. But don’t worry, I know how to find my way back to civilization.”
Adam met his gaze, swallowing. “We could see what’s inside.”
Emil stared back at him, but his heartbeat already picked up. “What? Since when are you into caves?”
Adam took a deep gulp of air and stepped closer, as if the cavern lured him in as much as it pushed Emil away. “I’m curious.”
“It could be dangerous, and you’re not exactly dressed for climbing,” Emil said, indicating Adam’s cassock, but Adam pulled at Emil’s sleeve.
“We’ll be careful.”
Emil froze with the sense that something very odd had just happened, but Adam no longer waited and slid his hand over the mossy stones as he stepped into the crack, his black-clad form about to disperse in nothingness if Emil didn’t follow.
Emil’s throat tightened, but instead of waiting for Adam outside, he followed straight into a gap so narrow he needed to go in sideways. The dampness of the walls sent chills all the way to his bones, but the earlier sense of dread was gone, as if the fact that Adam had made a decision for them both negated all of Emil’s doubts.
His throat still dried when he realized that the passage wasn’t ending where he thought it would and had changed its angle, leading farther into the mountain. He never understood cave explorers. In fact, tight quarters made him uneasy. But even though he had to lean down so he wouldn’t hit his head, despite the walls around them offering so little space it seemed like they might get stuck at any moment, he wasn’t afraid.
Adam led the way as if he’d been raised in such tunnels, but when they took yet another turn, the corridor opened into a space so airy the scent of plants momentarily made Emil breathless.
They were at the floor of a gorge with rocky walls so tall and steep it seemed as if it had been created by a single jab of an enormous axe that had split the hill in two in an era when giants had roamed the world. It was still quite narrow, but the breadth of the ravine likely provided enough access to sunlight during the day to sustain the flood of greenery stretching as far as the eye could see.
Some of the trees reached all the way to where the mouth of the gorge opened into the sky, their leaves the most intense green Emil had ever seen, as if the whole forest offered sustenance to this hidden sanctuary untouched by human hand. Pillows of moss climbed the flat rock where Emil stood behind Adam, like a carpet laid out to welcome them home. Even the air was pleasantly warm.
For the first time since they’d found this place, Adam was hesitant and looked to Emil for guidance. Their eyes met for a moment that left a sugary aftertaste on Emil’s tongue. Emil’s heart beat faster, but he didn’t follow up on the impulse that pushed him closer to Adam and took the first step out of the tunnel instead.
“Just be careful.”
Ferns and moss covered every bit of ground in sight, and the trees—thick and ancient—were scattered throughout the narrow space, with crooked roots spreading above ground like wooden snakes. The flora here was familiar, but the bushes were bigger, the raspberries growing in a fragrant thatch nearby—made the branches sink under their weight. It was God’s own garden, and every single plant—a perfect specimen of its kind.
They followed a narrow path of moss and flat stones, which serpentined through the lush plant life that carried a scent so much more intense than the cleanest mountain air. But it was only when they pushed through dense bushes and the space opened into a clearing speckled with wild flowers that Emil lost his voice.
An endless sea of fireflies moved from plant to plant in waves, illuminating the whole area with a faint jade and amber glow. Some stragglers were like sparks flying from a fire, other groups of insects crawled up and down trees like rivers and streams. The faint murmur of a creek somewhere beyond the miniature meadow was the perfect soundtrack for the ballet of the lightning bugs.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Emil whispered to Adam, his throat tight from the magnificence of it all. “And I’ve lived here all my life.”
Adam looked back, his mouth stretched into a smile so perfectly relaxed and innocent none Emil had seen before could compare to it. He popped open the top buttons of his cassock and loosened the collar as he took in this chunk of a primeval forest stuck in a hideout since ancient times.
“And it’s so hot. Do you think this place has its own microclimate?” he asked, gradually unfastening the buttons at the front of his outfit.