Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I picked up a pillow and smothered my face and cried out. This was not meant to happen. I missed her already.
16
* * *
PENELOPE
I SAT IN THAT BENTLEY, which radiated the smell of leather. Confusion suddenly swept through me, and a small panic attack followed. I didn’t want Patrick to know where I lived.
We ended up heading to Soho on the pretext that I lived there, which was half-true. I sent a quick text to Sheldon to warn him.
As I sat in the Bentley, Blake’s scent seemed to emanate from my pores. My vagina throbbed. We’d fucked three times that morning.
But then it all went weirdly flat. From high to low in an instant.
There Blake stood, detached. He didn’t even look at me. He planted a kiss on my cheek and then almost pushed me out the door. My heart had shriveled into a tight ball. I wondered if I’d ever see him again.
Patrick pulled up at Sheldon’s double-story home. Although it irked me to be so false, pride still flushed through me.
I let myself in and found Sheldon frying bacon and eggs.
“Babes.” Sheldon’s happy face contrasted sharply to my sagging spirit.
“Hey. I hope you don’t mind me coming in like this.”
“Mia casa, tua casa.” He giggled.
I hugged him, and without warning, tears erupted.
“Oh, Penny, what’s happened?” He looked worried. “Let me guess… Blake Sinclair.”
Falling onto the stool at the island, I nodded.
He poured me a cup of coffee and passed it to me. “I suppose you didn’t spend the night talking?”
Shaking my head, I smiled sadly, and a tear splashed on my cheek. “Although we did talk a lot. He’s so worldly.” I shook my head. “Oh my God.”
“He’s all man?”
I nodded with a long sigh. “Yeah. Irresistibly so.”
“You got together?” His mouth stretched into a tight smile. “Only if you want to talk about it.”
“I did. And I do want to talk about it.” I shook my head.
“That good?” He tilted his head.
“It was amazing. I experienced sensations I would never have thought possible.”
“Multiples?” He raised an eyebrow.
“You’re not kidding. And he was so…” I held my hands apart.
“Oh God.” His brows gathered. “He’s got a big dick too. Yum.”
Yum, all right. The thought of it made my palate drip in the same way a chocolate cake would.
Sheldon buttered some toast. “Why are you sad then?”
“He was so cold this morning. He virtually pushed me out the door, as though he was scared somebody would find me there.”
“Does he live alone?” he asked, placing fried egg, bacon and tomatoes onto a plate.
“He’s got staff. But they weren’t around. He also admitted to me that he didn’t sleep with women. Only fucked them.”
Sheldon looked up at me wide-eyed. “He said that? Shit, that’s kind of sexy in a mysterious way. And now you’re wondering if it was just a one-night stand, I suppose.”
I nodded. “It didn’t feel that way this morning when we were in bed.” I looked up at Sheldon and smiled coyly. As close as we were, I wasn’t ready to describe how frighteningly pleasurable having Blake Sinclair inside of me felt.
“Maybe he’s just awkward the next day. No alcohol to free the tongue. It’s not unusual after the first night.”
“Oh.” My heart sang. That might explain it. Maybe I was being needy too soon. “I love having you to talk to, Shelly. I didn’t think of it like that.” I dipped toast into the egg yolk, and my spirit returned. “Mm… this is so yummy. Thanks, Shelly.”
“Sex always boosts my appetite, and not just for cock.” His eyebrow arched, and I giggled.
“Speaking of which, you’re looking rather chipper today,” I said.
“Guess who paid me a midnight visit.”
“Mm… in uniform?”
He nodded. “Deliciously so. And he seemed at ease for once. He’d had a few drinks. It was amazing.”
“Then perhaps he’s starting to relax about his sexuality.”
Sheldon shrugged. “One night of wild passionate love with someone I feel hot about is better than one month of being with someone because of some irrational fear of being lonely.”
“You’ll never need be lonely with me around, Shels,” I said, touching his hand.
“You’re a sweetie. I’m so glad you’re here.” He smiled. “Come on. Eat up. And then let’s go shopping and have some fun.”
I smiled. I thought of the hundred thousand pounds sitting in my account. “I should really house hunt.”
“No, you shouldn’t. Live here. It’s my house. My rich parents gave it to me. Rent-free. That way, you can develop your career.”
I sighed. “I’m worried about my mother.”
“Rehab?” he asked.
“I’ve tried. She insists that she’s okay.”
“Maybe she just likes doing drugs,” he said.
I couldn’t argue with that sad surmise. “A form of medication, I suspect. I’m not sure what happened to her. I don’t even know my father. For all I know, she could’ve been raped.”
Sheldon winced. “You’re talented. Beautiful. A heart that’s pure.”
“Thanks.” I smiled sadly. “I do wonder who my dad was. But thinking about the men my mom brought home over the years, I can’t imagine he was anyone to make me proud.”
“At least she kept you safe.”
“She sent me next door to Lilly’s.” I recalled the numerous times, even as a three-year-old, I’d been cared for by our neighbors. Now it was my turn to look after Lilly.
That was what we did—we looked after each other.
* * *
SHOPPING HAD BEEN EXHAUSTING, so I rode a cab for once. He dropped me off at the front of the estate. In the distance, I spied the regulars loitering about in the shadows, among them Jimmy O’Hearn, who I’d grown up with.
Having stopped at the supermarket, I lugged heavy bags of groceries. The grounds at that hour were filled with all manner of comings and goings. People from all walks of life came to buy pills, weed, and heavier stuff. Everything was for sale there.
With a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, Jimmy was attractive in that heavily tattooed bad-boy way. “Hey, come into some cash?” He pointed at my shopping bags.
“I sold some art.”
Some drugged-out guy he’d been chatting with stood close and put his arm around me. “I’ve got some nice sniff.”
I shrugged out of his clasp and looked at Jimmy.
“Hey, leave her alone. She’s family.” Jimmy looked at me with a smirk. “A bit of snob, though.”
After I stuck a finger up at Jimmy, the pimply guy reacted. He didn’t get the joke. “You’re too good for us, are you?”
Jimmy pushed him back. “Lay off her!”