“I’m not hungry, lovey. Let me sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”
I let out a deep, frustrated breath and left her alone.
I went to the kitchen and opened the cupboard door, which fell off its hinges and onto my foot. I cried out in pain. It wasn’t the first time. That flat was a crumbling mess, much like my mother and my life. If it wasn’t for Sheldon, I would have either starved or had to sell my body or something radical like that. There were no jobs to speak of except in aged care, and I was too worn-out caring for my mom.
Sheldon was a friend from art college, where we both studied fine arts. I’d received a scholarship, which covered my fees, while art supplies gobbled up my tiny student allowance. I painted at his studio, and on weekends, I stayed at his Soho apartment. Like the brother I’d never had, Sheldon was kind and supportive.
A knock came to the door. Opening it, I discovered Lilly, my best friend, full of bubbly energy. We’d grown up together on the estate and were neighbors. She lived alone with her brother, Brent. After their parents died in a car accident when Lilly was ten, Brent, who was five years older, had taken on the parental role.
“Hey, Lil.” I stepped away to let her in.
“How are you?” Her eyes wandered over the room. I hadn’t had a chance to tidy up the mess my mother had left. With anyone else, I would have shriveled from shame, but Lil knew my mother.
“Like shit,” I replied with a long sigh.
“Have you had anything to eat?”
I shook my head. “No. There’s nothing in the cupboards. Mom used the money I left for drugs.”
Her lips drew a tight line. “Come on. I just got paid. Let’s get a burger where that cute guy works.”
I smiled. “Why not. I’ll pay you back one of these days.”
Lil took my hand and squeezed it. “Just remember me when you’re selling your art for millions.”
Her optimism always put a smile on my face. “I got a call today from a gallery. They’ve accepted my paintings for a group show.”
“That’s really cool. Are you showing the Mad Witch series?”
“Yep. I sent some photos, and they gave it a nod.” I grabbed my coat and bag. “I’ll just quickly check on Mom.”
She returned an understanding nod.
I poked my head into my mother’s bedroom, and satisfied she was still breathing, I rejoined Lil at the door. “She’s asleep.”
Lilly shook her head. “It’s kind of weird. Why spend so much on a drug only to sleep?”
“Tell me about it. I suggested she take sleeping tablets instead. It’s the lesser of two evils. And it would be a hell of a lot cheaper.”
I walked with her along the cracked concrete path, which was a makeshift playground for kids and where drug deals took place.
“Hey, girls,” said Jimmy, looking pleased with himself after making a sale.
“Hey,” said Lilly.
“You want to grab a pint? I’m buying.”
“No, thanks,” I said. “It’s food we need, not alcohol.”
His gaze lingered. Jimmy had always had a thing for me, but I wasn’t interested. He was harmless, though.
“Another time,” I said.
He kicked a stone around with his feet. “You always say that.”
I shrugged and continued on, dodging a homemade motorized bike as it
scooted past us with one kid balancing precariously on the handlebars.
* * *
LILLY PICKED A FRY OUT of a carton and munched on it. “Yesterday, one of my regulars came in to have her nails done. I noticed her designer heels. She’s from the estate and works as a salesgirl. I had to ask if she’d found herself a rich boyfriend. She answered, ‘Something even better.’ And then, lowering her voice, she told me she’d sold her virginity for fifty thousand pounds.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Shit. Her too?”
“Yeah. It’s becoming quite popular, isn’t it? When I asked her if it was an agency, she told me it happened at a club. One of the girls that night was offered half a million pounds.”
I whistled. “I wonder what she had to do for that.”
“I’d let them do anal for that,” she said with a smirk. “According to Annie—that’s my client—she stayed the night. He fucked her twice and made her blow him. And by the morning, she had fifty thousand in her account.”
“Did he at least wear a condom?”
“I didn’t ask.” Lilly took another fry. “We’re both virgins. Unless you’re keeping something from me.”
I shook my head. “No way. I haven’t had a chance to sleep with anyone. I’ve been too busy with art college and being a fucking mother to my mother… and the boy that I wanted likes boys.”
“Ah, Sheldon. How is he?”
“He’s looking after me. If it wasn’t for Sheldon, I wouldn’t be able to go to art school. He even pays for my supplies sometimes.”
“Aren’t his parents loaded?”
“They are. And he reminds me that he’d prefer to pay for me than have me drop out. He even suggested I move in with him.”
“Into his four-bedroom Soho house? Shit, Penny, that would be amazing. Why don’t you?”
“If it wasn’t for Mom and her helplessness, I would. At least, I’m at Sheldon’s on weekends.”
“Is he seeing anyone?”
“There’s a guy he really likes, a cop who’s ashamed of being gay and is driving poor Shelly crazy.”
“I’m thinking of doing it,” said Lilly, her sudden change of subject jolting me back to that sticky subject of our innocence.
I studied her. “Selling yourself, you mean? That’s prostitution.”
“Yeah. For one night. And then I can set up my own salon.” Her face lit up with excitement. I understood Lilly’s ambition for a better life only too well, because I also harbored the same desire.
“One night?” I visualized some ugly foul-smelling man running his hands over me and grimaced. “I’m not sure I could do that.”
“Even for five hundred thousand pounds?” Lilly asked.
“But your client received fifty thousand, you just said.”
“Yeah. But hey, she’s nothing on you. You’re stunning. And with those big tits and that shapely ass—God, Penny.”
“I’m chubby.”
“No, you’re not. You’re curvy. I’d kill to have your body.”
I stared at Lilly. With her lovely thick blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and svelte body, she was beautiful. “You could raise the same amount, Lil. You really could. But this is horrible. I shouldn’t be encouraging you.”
“I’m going to do it. Will you at least come with me for moral support?” she asked.
“Where is it?”
“A club in Soho.”
“You had to apply?” I asked, sitting forward.
“I went in and paraded.” She bit her lip. “That was after I’d sent a photo and a doctor’s report.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s taking it a bit too far.”