“No need for thanks, Captain,” Rhule said, shaking his hand. “Just repaying a debt.” He paused. “And hoping to be back in your debt again.”
Rhule smiled, and Lee found himself smiling as well. “I’ll do my best.”
Rhule must have seen the expression on Ben’s face. “I’ll give you two a minute,” he said, then stepped away and gave them as much privacy as an open docking bay could provide.
“There has to be another way,” Ben said.
Lee found it impossible to look into Ben’s sad eyes. He began walking around the fighter to check the surfaces. “Not that I can think of,” he said.
“Well then, let’s think of one together.”
“There’s no time, Ben. I wish there was, but there isn’t.”
“Stop it! Please just….stop and talk to me. I think I deserve it.”
You deserve more than that. But I can’t give you anything else.
Lee acquiesced and walked over to stand face-to-face with Ben. They were both silent for a moment. Lee finally let out a ragged breath.
“Ben…I’m sorry,” he said. “Really, I am. I’m sorry I wasn’t around more when you were growing up. I could lie and say it was because of my duty, but…”
“But?”
“But that would be an excuse. I guess I’m just too much like my old man.” Ben wrinkled his nose at that. Lee’s father—everyone had just called him the Admiral—could be a real bastard. “I didn’t want you to grow up hating me and resenting me.” He chuckled to himself ruefully. “Boy, did I screw that one up.”
Ben furrowed his brow. “I don’t hate you.”
“I’ve fought more battles than I can count,” Lee said. “I’ve commanded ships, dreadnaughts, armies. I’ve landed on enemy planets and come out the last man standing, but then I ran from the only responsibility in my life that mattered. I ran from you and your mother.” Admitting it hurt worse than anything the Shapeless had done to him.
Ben seemed to be fighting off tears. “I just don’t…I needed you. I always felt like you not being around was my fault, that I chased you away. I could never understand why you chose your crew, strangers, over your own family.”
“That’s the thing. I thought I was choosing you over that, but I was wrong. It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.” Lee felt his shoulders sag. “That and the fact that I couldn’t save your mother. That is my biggest regret.” Now it was his turn to fight off tears.
“You don’t need to be sorry for that. If all of this has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t save everybody, no matter how much you want to.” Ben hesitated. “But you could’ve been there after she died. You could’ve been at the funeral, said goodbye.”
“I should have,” Lee said. At the time, it would have meant forgoing the most important mission in UEF history, the mission he’d staked his entire career on. But now, it seemed so trivial.
I should’ve been there. I should’ve helped Ben recover, go through physical therapy, stand there with him as he eulogized his mother. I should’ve been there.
“You should have,” Ben said, with a sadness in his voice that cut Lee deeply.
“I know I have no right to ask, but can you forgive me, son? Ben?” Lee felt his jaw shaking with the tension and emotion that he didn’t realize he’d been holding in.
“Forgive you?” Ben rushed forward and hugged his father. His chin resting on Lee’s shoulder, the tears flowed freely now.
Lee savored every last second of their embrace, because he knew it would be the last time he touched or saw his son. Of course this was a suicide mission. They both knew that.
“I forgave you a long time ago, Dad. I’ve never hated you for the choices you’ve made. How can I? But yeah, I forgive you. Of course I do.”
Lee felt a single tear on his cheek. “Thank you,” he said as their embrace separated.
“So this is it?” Ben asked as he wiped the tears away.
“This is it,” Lee said.
“Time for you to go do some dumb shit to save a whole bunch of people?” Ben asked.
Lee laughed. “Yeah, exactly.” With his HUD connected to his new ship, he activated the loading ramp to deploy and open the inner doors.
Lee started to walk up the ramp. He stopped and turned to his son. “Do me a favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Do better than me. Find yourself somebody who can stand you. Have a kid. Be there for them. Be better than me and your grandpa.”
“I’ll try, Dad. Do me a favor?”
Lee smiled. “What’s that?”
“Blow these alien bastards back to whatever hell they come from.”
Lee nodded and disappeared up the ramp.
As the stealth interceptor lifted up off the docking bay floor and towards the plasma-shielded exit, Ben wasn’t sure how he felt. Not happy. Content, maybe? All of the hardships he’d gone through to save his father were worth it just for that brief conversation on an AIC ship, of all places. They’d both found their peace.
“Sorry to rush you, Ben, but your ship is ready,” Rhule informed him.
“My ship?” Ben was confused and surprised.
Rhule showed Ben to a simple transport ship. It wasn’t AIC or UEF; it was unmarked, and quite unremarkable.
Ben looked over the ship. “It’s…nice?”
“It’s neutral. No frills, no weapons, so don’t get yourself into any fights on the way. I’m assuming you still have UEF military codes to get through any trouble?”
“I do, but I doubt they’re up to date.”
Rhule patted Ben on the back. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ll figure it out.” He handed Ben a hyperdrive. “Once you get to your general, tell him about our proposal of peace and joining forces against those things. If he doesn’t believe you, give him this.”
“What is it?”
“It’s the blueprints and defensive layouts of three of our AIC bases that are previously unknown to them, based on our intel. Think of it as an act of good faith.”
“Okay. But what if he takes the hyperdrive, rejects the offer of peace, and uses that info to take out those bases?”
Rhule smiled. “They’re abandoned. And we have twenty-two others down there.”
Ben flipped the drive around in his palm. “Pretty empty as far as peace offerings go.”
“Most are,” Rhule said matter-of-factly. “Godspeed, Mr. Saito. We’re all counting on you.”
As he began walking away, Ben asked, “Why do I feel like you’ll be planning for the worst just in case?”
Rhule glanced back with a rueful smile. “Because only fools plan for the best.”
Ben nodded and climbed aboard the transport.
Chapter 3
Run!
AIC battleships were descending above as Ada, with Congo at her side, led Clarissa and Wan up onto the UEF scout base’s secondary wall. What was left of it, at least.