And the resemblance to Nixon was incredible—obviously, they were twins—but Nixon had rougher edges where Nathan’s were smooth, calm. Nixon had a wildness to his eyes, a churning depth this side of painful that I constantly wanted to uncover. Nathan had the soft, kind eyes of a man in love, happy, settled.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Nixon would ever look that settled or if he’d constantly chase the storms that plagued him—the ones he showed when he thought no one was looking.
“You’re lucky I love Harper,” Nixon said, a tease in his tone. “Or else I would’ve driven you into the ground for calling me that.”
Nathan snorted and rolled his eyes. “You can’t take me.”
“History says otherwise.” Nixon leaned his elbows on the table.
I raised my brows at Harper, who just waved off the brother’s banter.
“What, one time out of thousands?”
“Try the other way around,” Nixon said.
“Your memory is off,” Nathan joked. “You’ve been sacked too many times, your head has taken too many hits.”
Nixon shifted next to me, going as still as a statue. I furrowed my brow, wondering if he’d swallowed something from his cocktail, but his glass remained untouched on the table.
Something glistened in Harper’s eyes, and Nathan flashed Nixon an apologetic look.
“Nix,” he said, his tone soft. “I didn’t mean…” His voice trailed off, and Harper smoothed her hand over Nathan’s back.
I studied the hard line of Nixon’s jaw, the way his dark eyes had gone distant, sad even. The tension in my chest tightened as the seconds ticked by and he offered no response.
“So,” I said, desperate to change the subject. “Twins run in the family.” I glanced down at my stomach, then back up to Nathan. “I’m thankful it skipped us. I mean, while I wouldn’t mind two, one is terrifying enough. I mean, how could I split myself between two babies? How did your mom do it?” And now I was rambling.
Harper pressed her lips together, giving me a pitiful look.
Okay. Hello awkward.
“Mom is the most amazing woman on the planet,” Nixon said, and the sound of his voice washed over me like a tropical shower. “I honestly don’t know how she survived the three of us.”
Three of them?
Nathan continued to attempt some sort of silent conversation with Nixon, but I couldn’t tell if Nixon was responding or not. He’d thrown that wall over his eyes, the one he usually reserved for the cameras and reporters.
“She always says it’s about balance,” Nathan said when Nixon clearly wasn’t elaborating. “And she always treated us as separate entities,” he continued. “We may be twins, but we responded differently to everything. Mom made sure to react or treat each situation according to which of us was at the center of it. That made the whole difference.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, letting the information sink in. I knew I’d never live up to their mother, what woman could? But I knew I wanted to try. Wanted to be the best mother I could possibly be. Even though before that weekend in Vegas I’d never contemplated having a baby so soon.
“Thanks for the tip,” I finally said. “I need as many as I can get.” Maybe if I ever found the courage, I’d ask Nixon if I could call his mother and take notes about how she managed to raise two incredible men.
“You’ll do amazing,” Nixon said, the edge gone from his voice. I smiled at him, and then our waitress brought our meals, and we ate in a comfortable mish-mash of real and light conversation. I found myself relaxing as the night went on, settling into the easy way it was to talk to both Harper and Nathan. The Noble family was truly not a bad one to have gotten accidentally attached to.
“I’ll be right back,” I said to Nixon after we’d finished dessert, well, after I’d finished mine and the rest of his. Somedays I could eat a mountain of food and still never feel full. “Bathroom.” I motioned across the restaurant.
“Me too!” Harper hopped up from her seat, hurrying to my side.
I didn’t raise a brow at her eagerness, having grown quite used to her quirks the past two times I’d met her. She was a loveable genius who couldn’t help but speak her mind or hide away in it.
“So,” Harper said as I washed my hands. She leaned against the granite counter, her arms folded over her chest.
“So?” I asked as I dried my hands and tossed the paper towel in the garbage. I arched a brow at her when she didn’t immediately head for the door.
“What’s the official story on you and Nixon?” she asked.
“Um…well…” I glanced down at my tummy and then back up again. “Vegas. Drinks. Two pink lines. You were there for part of it.” The drinks part, anyway.
Harper laughed softly and shook her head. “I remember that part,” she said, then cringed. “Well, not all the parts. But I remember the drinks.”
I nodded. She’d been kind enough to make me some mythical smoothie that had cut my hangover in half.
“You moved in with Nixon.”
“He asked me to,” I said. “When he learned how bad the morning sickness affected me.”
She tilted her head.
“Morning sickness isn’t actually confined to the morning. At least not for me. It was an all-day, all-night kind of thing. And it was even worse when triggered by certain smells, like this fish tank…” A shudder choked off the last of my words, and I swallowed back a mouthful of acid. God, I still couldn’t think about that smell without wanting to puke.
“That’s awful,” she said. “Is it better at his place?”
So. Much. Better. Not only because there weren’t any nefarious smells assaulting me, but because he had an incredibly comfortable bed, a spacious and quiet home, and a kiss that haunted my dreams.
“Yes,” I said.
“Do you love him?”
I sputtered at her direct question. “I’m just getting to know him,” I blurted.
She eyed me, and I had to give the woman credit, she wasn’t pulling any punches. “Look,” she said. “Nixon hated me at first. It took me months to earn his trust, and then his love. So, I’m sorry if I’m being that girl, but I’m protective of these brothers. They’re good men, and they deserve to be treated as such.”
I parted my lips, but nodded. “I know that,” I said on a released breath. “I do. But I won’t stand here and lie to you, Harper. Nixon is…” What was he? Infuriating and gorgeous and funny and endearing and God, he made me crazy.
“Yeah,” Harper said like she could read my mind.
“I don’t know what we are,” I admitted. “I don’t think either of us know. We didn’t plan for this to happen. It was thrown at us. And he’s been more than amazing about the whole situation.” Except for the day I told him, but now I understood his reasoning. “I don’t know if I love him. It’s impossible for me to know that this soon, but I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty.” I smoothed my hand over my stomach, feeling the life inside there. “I love this baby. And it’s made up of pieces of us.” I shrugged like there was nothing else I could possibly explain beyond that.