“What could possibly give him an excuse to cancel a wedding? If you’re not sure, you don’t propose.”
How to explain…
“Well, when he first met me, I was a free spirit, fun-loving—the total opposite of him. But you know, opposites attract, right? Even though he was more straight-laced, he was attracted to my wild personality. But over the years, I lost my way. I became…more like him. And I think despite a mutual respect for each other, he woke up one day and realized he needed to step back before he made a lifelong commitment to someone who wasn’t the same person anymore.”
“How long were you engaged?”
“A year.”
Milo frowned. “That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it, right? There’s no reason to lead someone on until right before a wedding.” He took a drink of his beer and slammed the bottle down. “Anyway, you think there was more to it? Like maybe he was fucking someone else and felt guilty? Not that he would’ve had any reason to do that if he had you at home.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think he would do something like that. I mean, there have been times when I wondered about a couple of his female co-workers. A group of people from his office go out a lot together after work. They drink a little too much. But I don’t think he ever did more than flirt with them.”
Rehashing anything having to do with Brady was starting to make me feel sick to my stomach.
“How did he tell you…that he didn’t want to get married?” Milo asked.
“He just said he wasn’t sure it was the right decision anymore. He kept things very vague. It was all so sudden. Even though I probably should’ve seen it coming, I didn’t. I truly believed he loved me, even if our relationship might have changed since the beginning. Like I said, I don’t really blame him for his change of heart.”
“Well, you should blame him for how he handled things. That’s messed up to let you plan a wedding and then pull that shit.”
“It definitely seemed like it hurt him to have to do it. I don’t think it was an easy decision. He’d probably known about it for a while but was just reluctant to tell me. He was very apologetic.”
“Christ! As he should be.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah.”
“But you know what?”
“What?”
He paused. “He’s an idiot. He’ll regret it someday.”
My cheeks felt hot, and our eyes locked for a few moments.
“Well, that’s very nice of you to say. You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you actually were my brother,” I said in a low voice. “You’re awfully protective of someone you don’t even know.”
He turned to the bartender. “Ed, can you get my sister here another drink?”
Holding out my palms, I said, “I’m not sure I should have another.”
“Trust me. You’re gonna need it.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m about to set you straight. You might need something to take the edge off.”
I squinted. “Is that right?”
“Yes.”
Ed placed another vodka cranberry in front of me.
Milo grinned. “Drink up.”
I took a long sip. The alcohol burned my throat. “So what is it that I need to be intoxicated in order to hear?”
Milo leaned in. “This guy of yours, he’s gonna come back, begging you to give him another chance.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do, okay? Men are fucking dumb, and he’s going to realize his mistake and try to get you back.”
His tone gave me an inkling that maybe he’d learned that firsthand.
“Speaking from personal experience?” I asked.
“As a matter of fact, yes. The same thing happened with my brother. It was a little different than your situation, because he actually cheated on my sister-in-law with a co-worker. She forgave him, took him back, and he thanked her by doing it again, that time with a different co-worker. My brother has always been a dick, even when we were kids. I love him, but he’s just a dick. People don’t change, Maddie. They don’t. And if this guy could let you go so easily once, he will fuck up again. He doesn’t deserve you.”
A part of me wanted to believe he was wrong. “Well, I can’t help it if I’m still holding out hope that I didn’t waste the past few years of my life.”
Milo shrugged. “People make bad investments all the time. You chalk it up to a mistake and move on. You don’t linger over a dead horse just because you rode the shit out of it.” He paused. “Maybe that’s not the best terminology. But anyway, dead horse? You step over it and move on. You know what happens if you try to wake that dead horse?”
“What?”
“It bites you in the ass.”
I chuckled. “Okay. I get your point. But you know, moving on from a relationship that’s lasted several years is easier said than done. But I do thank you for your advice.”
He winked. “That’s what big brothers are for.” He sipped his beer. “Anyway, tell me why you think you’re so boring.”
I stared down into my glass. “I don’t even recognize myself anymore, Milo.”
“Aside from the fact that you’re impersonating a Hooker, what do you mean by that?”
That made me laugh. “For the record, we’re both impersonating Hookers, and it’s a long story.”
He pretended to look down at his watch again. “Once again, I got time. In case you haven’t checked the weather recently, neither of us is going anywhere anytime soon.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
He smiled. “So, talk to me.”
I let out a long sigh. “Okay, well, to understand me, you’d have to know that my parents were hippies.”
He crossed his arms. “Peace and love—nice.”
I nodded. “We moved around a lot when I was growing up. I always resented it—you know, having to change schools and everything. But as I got older, I became accustomed to the lifestyle. After college, I basically turned into my parents.”
“You became a hippie?”
“Not exactly. But I was never in one place. I’m a photographer. Years ago, right out of school, I worked for a music magazine and traveled the country shooting various bands. I’ve definitely seen my share of tour buses. And let me tell you, back then this girl liked to party right along with everyone else. It was fun for a long time, until—”
He finished my sentence. “Until it wasn’t.”
“Yeah, exactly. It hit me at a certain point that I was definitely becoming my parents, and while that had suited me just fine in my early twenties, it was starting to get old.”
“So you quit that job?”
“Not immediately. I met my ex-fiancé at a concert, ironically.”
Milo nodded. “The day the music died…”
That made me laugh again. Or maybe it was the alcohol.
“He was everything I wasn’t: conservative with roots. And for the first time in my life, I started to believe I wanted that type of a life instead of the one I had. I think I was really in search of a feeling of safety more than anything else.”