He holds another bite to my lips; my appetite is gone, but I take it. “What else did you see?” he asks.
“Nothing. I never saw anything else,” I say.
“They were charged with more,” he points out.
“Nothing that I testified to,” I answer quickly.
“But you testified to attempted rape and kidnapping?” he asks.
I look away and nod.
“I have another question for you and then I’ll lighten it up, kitten.” My eyes fall. I don’t want another question. This game fucking blows. “I want you to be honest.”
I wait nervously for his question.
“Did they touch you?” I know what he's getting at.
I shake my head no. “They tried,” I answer, looking to the floor. “That’s when I left.” Not a single one of them did. Not even Lorenzo. He was having too much fun beating me for sport.
“What about your boyfriend?” he asks. I fucking hate that I ever called him that. Lorenzo helped me escape the pain of losing my mother. He made me feel free and wild. And then he destroyed me. I shake my head no, and I don’t realize until Anthony says something, but my hand moves to my cheek.
“He hit you?” I lock my eyes on Anthony’s. His voice is calm. He’s been calm the entire time. But his eyes spark with a darkness I never want to see directed at me. I give one curt nod in response. I’m ashamed that I let Lorenzo hurt me. I’m ashamed that it all ever happened.
He scoops a piece of omelet onto the fork and holds it out for me.
I take it simply to fill my mouth so I don’t have to talk.
“Your turn, kitten. Ask me anything.”
Catherine
I can ask him anything at all. Anything I want. “Why me?” I ask simply. I want to know what I did that put a target on my back.
“Well. I told you I was supposed to kill you,” he says. The reminder makes my stomach churn. “You were on my list, and like everyone on my list, I did a little digging. In your case, I liked what I found.” He spears a small piece of pepper and puts it to my lips.
“Have you...done this before?” I ask before accepting the bite. I fucking hope the answer is no. If it’s yes, I know what my next question will be, but I’m afraid of the answer. Did you kill them when you were done with them?
“I’ve played before, but it was only play. You’re the first real submissive I’ve had. And the first complete 24/7 power exchange.”
I don’t know why, but I hate that there were others before me.
“What happened to them?” I ask before receiving another bite.
“We weren’t a good fit,” he answers without looking at me. It’s the first time he’s done that, and I don’t like it.
“What did you do to them?” I ask before I can think twice.
He cocks a brow at me. “You mean, did I kill them?” he asks.
My throat closes as I answer in a choked voice, “Yes.”
“No, kitten. I didn’t kill them.” He doesn’t answer my unspoken question. If we don’t fit, will he kill me? He holds another piece out for me to take. But I shake my head. I’m not hungry. The thought of eating another bite makes me sick to my stomach. Of course he will. I’m already supposed to be dead. If we don’t fit, or once he’s done with me, I’ll be dead.
Tears prick my eyes, but I push them back. I need to be good. I need to be fucking perfect until I can get out of here. And the first chance I get, I need to run as fast as I can. I can never stop running. Never.
His strong arms wrap around me as he picks me up and pulls me into his lap to lean against his chest. “I chose you for a reason, kitten.” He gently strokes my back and I concentrate on how good it feels to distract myself from the pain. He kisses my hair and then pets me as I lay my head flat against his hard, hot body. I hear his heart beating as he speaks. “You fit me, and this is exactly what I wanted. You are exactly what I want.”
For now. I focus on the plan. Survive until I’m given an opportunity. I’ll be as perfect as I can be. I’ll make him want to keep me. I pull back and he readjusts me so I’m sitting in his lap.
I don’t know what to say to move past this, but I really just want to move forward and forget that this breakdown ever happened.
“Do you like your new home?” he asks. I'm grateful to discuss a more casual topic, but I can't forget that the fact he's even asking me that question is fucked up. I didn't need a new home. I loved my cabin, and I want to go back.
I glance around the room again. It’s as perfect as a gilded cage can be. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”
“Do you have everything that you need?” he asks.
“There are a few things I’d like to get,” I say quietly.
“Yes, you told me that. Other than a few trinkets, is there anything important that I’ve forgotten?” I feel like he already knows the answer to his question. Like this is a test.
What’s the one thing I need here? One thing he hasn’t given me is my laptop. I’m afraid to ask for it. It’d be stupid to ask. There’s no way he’d let me go online.
He reaches past me to the cart and my mouth drops open.
“I told you earlier, you only need to ask,” he says.
I stare at my laptop in his hands. My fucking life is on there. I reach out to take it, expecting him to snatch it away, but he doesn’t. Instead he kisses my hair and gently rubs my back. I hug it to my chest and wait for the other shoe to drop.
“Go ahead. I know you have work to do.” I swallow the lump in my throat and slowly open my MacBook Pro. It’s ten years old. I got it in college. It’s really past time to get a new one, but I fucking love my baby.
I type in my password, and the same screen pops up that’s greeted me every morning for the last year. It’s a meme that says, “You can’t read all day, if you don’t start in the morning!” I can’t help my smile. I instinctively look to check the internet connection. I have a few books loaded on here that I need to put on my Kindle, but what I really need to do is catch up with my FB group and my blogs, plus the editor for my column. I also need to check my email, my website for beta readers, my Goodreads account, and the reading groups online. I take a deep breath and click on my web browser and then hold my breath and stiffen as the screen pops up. I quickly hit exit and look back to Anthony self-consciously.
“Go ahead, kitten. I want to watch you work.” I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding and look back at Anthony with disbelief.
“I told you I’d give you your life back. I’m a man of my word.” I search his eyes for anything but sincerity, but that’s all I see. I bite my lip and look back to the computer.
I have work to do, and this is going to take me fucking forever. I shift in his lap. This isn’t going to work, but I don’t want to push my luck.
“You typically write on your bed, don’t you?” he asks.
A chill runs through me at the reminder that he watched me before taking me. “I do.”
“Go ahead. I’ll sit here. I have a book I’d like to read.” It takes a moment for his words to sink in, but when they do, I take my chances and get my ass up and move to the bed with my laptop. I keep my eyes on him as I put the pillow against the headboard for support, and another on my lap for the computer. I’ve always typed this way. I imagine I always will. It’s a bad habit to break.