“You alright, doll?” Dom brushes my tears away with his thumb. He looks like he doesn’t know what to do. And that makes me laugh. I must look fucking crazy. Crying out of nowhere and then laughing at him. Maybe I am crazy at this point. Maybe this was all I could take. Judging by the look on Dom’s face, he may be thinking I’ve lost it, too.
“I’m okay. I could be better, but I’m okay,” I finally answer. I wipe my tears and look down at my fingers to make sure I haven’t fucked up the concealer. Nothing. They’re clean. This is some good shit to be able to withstand tears.
I push myself off the wall, and to my surprise, Dom wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. His embrace is warm and comforting. I shouldn’t like it so much. He’s practically a stranger and definitely a dangerous man. I lean into him knowing all of that. I just need it.
As soon as I round the corner and Jax catches a glimpse of me, I kneel down and open my arms for him.
“Mommy!” he yells out, dropping the truck and running to me. It hurts when he slams into my chest, but I don’t care. It feels so good just to hold him. I kiss his forehead and just hold him until he starts to push me away.
“Do you see trucks?” He runs back over to the pile of cushions and collects a truck to hold it up for me to see. “So big, mommy!” I can’t speak; just looking at him has me too emotional to function, so I nod my head and make sure I’m smiling.
There’s another little boy jumping on the cushionless sofa with an olive complexion with dark brown eyes and a faux Mohawk. He’s grinning from ear to ear like he can hardly stand the anticipation of the drop.
“That’s Gino,” Dom huffs a small laugh at the little boy.
“Is he your nephew?” I ask.
“Basically.” I think that’s all I’m going to get, but then he continues. “Jimmy’s my cousin, but we grew up together. We’re all close.” I nod as though I understand, but I don’t. I don’t know what that’s like. “You’ll meet him tonight. Clara’s gone already, and Vince only comes home for Saturday and Sunday dinners.”
An older woman, maybe in her fifties, walks into the room from the kitchen. Her dark black hair with grey streaks is pulled into a chignon bun. Trailing her is the sweet smell of white wine and shrimp. I can only imagine she’s cooking up shrimp scampi or something else that smells just as good. My mouth waters as I lick my lips.
“Hi, Becca. I’m Linda, Dom’s Ma.” She wipes her hands on a small kitchen towel and walks over to us on the other side of the room. I expect a handshake, but instead I’m greeted with a gentle hug. She looks over my face with a sad smile. “Would you like anything to drink?” It’s not the question I anticipate. But then I remember Dom’s warning about not asking questions.
I gently shake my head and reply, “I’m fine, thank you.”
“You say that a lot, you know?” He looks down at me with a quizzical look on his face.
Linda interrupts our moment. “Shrimp scampi for dinner, it’s almost ready.” I knew it! She says the last bit with a teasing tone. We have shrimp scampi at my bistro. It’s one of my favorite dishes. The reminder of the restaurant makes my gut sink. Dom still has my phone.
“I need my phone.” I’m blunt, and I hope he doesn’t push me on this. I have a PA that theoretically could handle everything, but in reality she constantly relies on me.
“Who are you going to call?” At first I’m pissed off at his question. and then I see the threat in his eyes. The cops.
“Not calling anyone; I just want to check on my business.” He reaches into his pocket and holds it out for me. As I reach for it, he pulls back.
“Kiss first.” He turns his cheek to me. I roll my eyes, but stand on my tiptoes and plant a kiss on his cheek. For some reason his playfulness makes me feel lighter. And then I look at the phone and see all the messages. Four missed calls and thirty-two unread messages. Fuck. I sigh heavily and start with the texts, but the bottom one catches my eyes.
All taken care of. No worries. Just feel better!
I stare at the screen with confusion until Dom answers my unspoken question.
“I texted her and told her you’d be out of commission for a bit and gave her the number of our manager in case she needed help.”
“Thank you.” I can’t imagine it’s that easy though. I read through the messages, searching for anything indicating she still needs help. Nothing. She did everything without me today.
He holds out his hand for the phone back.
I purse my lips. “I don’t like that.”
He leans in close to answer, “After what you said upstairs, I’m nervous that you’re going to do something stupid.”
I shake my head and insist, “I won’t. I don’t know why I said it.”
“I do,” he says while taking my phone and putting it back in his pocket.
“What the hell does that mean?” I do. Like he knows me like that.
“I told you to watch that tone, doll. I’m trying to go easy on you, but you can only push so much.” The threat in his voice does all the wrong things to me. So I simply turn away from him and focus on the two little men playing with their toys who are completely unaware of what’s happened today.
Dinner has been… telling. Jax is happy and playing with Gino. The men, Jimmy, Dom, and Dom’s father Dante, have been joking and carrying on and playing with the kids. Even Linda’s been poking fun at her husband. It's almost like today never happened. Like they weren’t at a shootout. I’m not sure it’s perfectly healthy, but I like it. I appreciate it. I don’t want to wallow. I want to move on as quickly as possible.
I lean back slightly in the chair and lick the last bit of white wine butter sauce from my fingers. Linda knows how to cook, that’s for damn sure. I’ve been quiet all dinner except for the dozen times I’ve commented on her food. Jax likes it too, which makes me happy since he hardly ever actually eats anything. I swear he lives off fruit snacks and apple juice.
Dom puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes. A sense of family and belonging that I haven’t felt in so long overwhelms me. I watch him as he smiles and makes a face at Gino. Is this what it would be like, if what was between us was more? Is that even an option? I never gave it a thought. Never considered it. A man like him doesn’t settle down. But this feels so right.
No, what am I thinking? I could’ve died today because of him. A lump grows in my throat as I look at Jax smiling and bumping shoulders with Gino. I could never let this happen. As soon as Dom gives me the chance to leave, I’m going to take it. I can’t allow Jax to grow up like this. Not with mobsters.
The lump grows thicker, threatening to choke me so I reach for my glass and try to calm myself.
“You look a little shaken.” A sweet, low whisper of concern comes from my left.
I give Dom’s mother a tight smile and say, “I’m fine.”
Dom looks at me from the corner of his eyes with a frown and runs his hand down my thigh.
“I know I shouldn’t ask, but if you’d like to talk, I’m here for you.” I half expect the room to go silent, but Dom and the guys continue to joke and talk in the background. It’s almost like white noise. Linda’s light blue eyes are the same color as Dom’s and they draw me in, offering me a place to confide.