My cock presses against her, and I grind myself against the smooth flesh of her thigh. I know she can feel me because her eyes go wide. Her legs are still wiggling under me, and it only serves to make my cock harder.
My other hand finds her throat. My mind goes blank, and pleasure takes over as I squeeze the sides of her neck, staling her breath which only earns me more whimpers of pleasure.
Her cunt drips onto my hand as I make her take my fingers. Again, and again. I feel her pulse, her arousal coating both digits, and I’m tempted to see if she’ll accept them in her ass, but if I move, she’ll fight back and run.
“This is what makes your pretty cunt wet?” I question in a low growl. “You wanted me like this? A fucking monster?” My fingers move faster as her hips rise up to meet my violent thrusts.
“Oh god,” she croaks when I give her a short breath before squeezing again until I see her eyes roll back from my ministrations and lack of air.
The control I have over her is like a drug, and I need more of it. My body rocks against her as I feel her pussy tightening around my fingers and I hold her down, pinning her just like she asked me to and that’s when I feel her shudder.
She cries out through croaked words as she squirts all over my hand and arm. Her eyes close, but her lashes flutter as I release her neck and see her look up at me.
“Fuck,” she whispers in the dark when she finally comes back to me. “I’ve never…” Her words trickle into the night, and I want to nod, to agree with her, but I can’t because I haven’t allowed myself to find pleasure.
Silently, I move off her, standing as I offer her a hand, but she shakes her head. Suddenly, hands are tugging at my sweats and boxers as she takes me in her hand.
“Vera, no,” I tell her. “It’s okay. I’m—” My words are cut short when she wraps her pouty lips around my shaft, and in the dark, I close my eyes and bask in the need racing through my veins.
She works hard, taking me into her throat until I feel it pulse around my tip. My body is rigid, my veins spark and sizzle as pure and feral lust burns me from the inside out.
I bite down on my lower lip as a grunt escapes me. Her hand cups my balls, massaging and rubbing them gently. But then she squeezes as she takes me just that inch deeper into her throat, and I feel myself seize as my mind blanks out.
“I-I’m…” I can’t get the words out as I feel my orgasm erupt violently, but Vera swallows every drop of me.
When I finally open my eyes, I look down to see her still on her knees, her tongue lapping at me as if I’m her favorite fucking candy.
“Get the fuck up,” I bite out as anger takes over the desire. “Why the fuck would you do that? Do you know I could’ve hurt you?”
“I… I know, I just needed it.” The innocence in her tone stills me. I’m losing my fucking mind, and I don’t know how to be with her. Tonight was perfect, but right now, I feel like the monster that I’m convinced I am.
“Go get cleaned up.” My order is clear. I can’t be near her, or I’ll lose my shit at her stupidity. No. She’s not stupid. I’m the fucking idiot who should’ve not lost all my fucking control.
“Logan, I’m sorry. But—”
“Vera, I care about you, please just go inside. Sleep in my bed, I’ll be up soon.” Even as I tell her that, I know it’s a lie because I’m raging inside. She nods and silently turns to make her way back to the house. Thankfully, it’s not far.
I watch her disappear before I lean against the tree and look up at the sky. Even though the leaves cover most of the stars, I can make out a few twinkling here and there.
My chest aches. My whole body fucking aches. I’ve never been so lost in pleasure before. I have never in my life been so rabid to have a woman.
I don’t know if she’s good for me, even if she craves what I give her. I lift my hand to my nose and inhale her. The scent of her arousal is still intoxicating as it coats my hand, and I close my eyes and grip my cock.
I just had an orgasm, but just the fragrance of her juices makes my dick throb. I slowly stroke myself, picturing her beautiful face as she finds her release. My fist tightens, pulsing around my shaft as I emulate her cunt. The heat of her pussy took me in, sucking me deep, and I imagine my cock feeling those slick walls.
It doesn’t take long, another two strokes, and I come hard, shooting my release onto the dark ground. My breathing is hard, short, and I have to focus to attempt at calming my heartbeat which is thudding painfully against my ribs.
“Fuck, Vera, what are you doing to me?” The question is lost in the darkness, and I shove myself back into my pants before I head to the house. When I reach the door, everything is silent, the lights upstairs are out, and Vera is nowhere to be seen.
I should go up to her, but I don’t. Instead, I go the kitchen and open the closet, which houses the cleaning materials. I find the bottle I’m searching for. Grabbing a glass, I pour a mouthful before swallowing it back quickly.
The burn of the bourbon is welcome. It’s been years since I opened this bottle, but tonight, I am sure I could finish it without hassle. I pour another shot and swallow it quickly.
Taking the bottle and my glass, I head out onto the porch and settle on the wooden bench that sits in the one corner. It’s not comfortable, but right now, it’s going to have to do. I can’t be in the same room as her.
I’m not even angry at her, I’m more rage-filled at myself. My feelings, emotions are taking over where Vera is concerned. It’s not been that long since we actually spoke face to face, but I know her better than she knows herself. I know her body as if it were my own.
Do I really want to bring her into my life?
I’m sure if I went up there right now, she’d forgive me for what happened. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t, but with Vera, I realize that she sees past the volatile exterior to see the person I want to be.
And deep down, if I had to be brutally honest with myself, I want to be that man for her. I do want this to work. I want nothing more than to give her the house, the dog, and even a family.
I suppose a new day will come, and we’ll find out if we can move past my insecurities. The darkness engulfs me as I look out at the trees that are now black. The night has taken hold of the cabin and as I sip the bourbon that I had kept stashed away, I feel like I’m at war with myself.
I should never have allowed her to talk me into sex. Or even just trying to be intimate. The last time we did this, she passed out. Granted, it was only for a minute or so, but it was still something I can never forgive myself for. This time, the hunt and chase had been erotic. It sparked something inside me that I had hidden away in the darkest depths. I want her. All of her, and I didn’t think about the consequences.
I know I can’t leave Vera, but her being here will ensure she’s safe. If I had to take her into the city with me, she’d only be walking around with a target on her back. And that’s not something I’m prepared to let happen.
23
Vera
I’ve lost all sense of time and day since arriving at the cabin, but it’s been good. After Logan allowed me out of my bedroom, we’ve spent each day talking, getting to know each other on a personal level rather than sexually.