I counted my breaths as I waited for the footsteps on the other side of that oak door to quiet and when they did, I stopped breathing altogether. Would he be angry that I’d found my way here? Did he blame me for Trent’s lies? Would he send me away?
Bright lights and colors swirled in my head that felt like something I forgot and couldn’t quite place. There was music lost in those small seconds as I waited on the other side of that door; like something I loved had been stripped from me and I’d never be rid of the loss, or perhaps the edge of possibility. Everything held and waited with those footsteps and when the door opened, when Isaac’s impassive, steady expression shifted, even minutely, I believed that what I’d lost stood right in front of me. It was the strangest sensation—he was there, inches from me and it felt something like longing and need and long released hope had just all vanished from me in an instant. He was here.
I couldn’t wait for him to touch me. I didn’t want to. He’d been mine, a long time ago and here he was again. It was stupid to feel that way, I knew. It made no sense, but seeing Isaac after just two days apart had felt like years, decades and I wanted to smash the time between us. I wanted to forget it had ever been there.
“Riley…”
I wouldn’t let him send me away. I couldn’t. Isaac’s body went stiff when I lunged at him, grabbing onto his neck with no intention of ever letting go. It took him three of the longest seconds of my life before he surrendered his fight and held onto me, those massive arms around my waist, the sensation of him inhaling my hair and my feet coming off the porch as he held me close.
Isaac set me down and looked over my shoulder, pausing without moving his hands from my waist and I followed his gaze, smiling at Ryan as he watched us.
“He’s waiting to see if you’ll send me away.” Just then, Isaac’s grip lowered, resting on my hip, as though he had me and had no plans of letting me go. His breath was warm against my neck and I glanced up at him, my body feeling buzzed by the look in his eyes, how he didn’t seem able to keep from looking at me like I was real and there and his.
I waved to Ryan and Isaac offered him a nod before he opened the door and led me inside. I heard the car pull away, and then there was only us.
The cottage was nothing more than one large room with a river stone fireplace and hand scraped hardwood floors. There was a small kitchen tucked away in the back of the cottage, and the rich scent of coffee percolated from the back of the room. Two large chairs were situated in front of the fire that crackled beneath a thick wood mantel holding several small picture frames, each one with the thinnest layer of dust. A large bed was pathetically hidden behind a thin curtain. I did my best not to stare for too long at the mattress or think of the untucked blankets and how the entire place smelled of sandalwood and shea butter soap.
“You… you were fired,” I looked up at Isaac as he leaned against the largest of the two columns, thick masses of hand-sawed beams that held up the entire cottage. His gaze was heavy on me and I fiddled with my hair, pulling it over my shoulder to braid it absently; an unconscious habit. Isaac only nodded, watching with his mouth tight and drawn, like he wanted me to say my piece uninterrupted.
“I guess you figured it was probably Trent.” The name came out low, like a curse, and I couldn’t keep my lip from curling a little when I spoke it. “I’d bet anything it was him.” Another nod and I stepped closer to him. “Are you…” My tongue felt thick and knotted. “Do you blame me?”
“Riley,” he finally said, standing away from the beam. “Come here to me.”
I didn’t hesitate and his arms were around me, my face against his chest before anything else could pass between us. This was where I belonged—safe, protected, loved. The idea shocked me, made me huddle closer to him. Did Isaac love me? He’d never said it, but I felt it just then, in the fierceness of his arms, in how tightly he held me, as though he wouldn’t let go. As though he would never let me go.
“You think I blamed you? You of all people?” His voice rumbled against my ear and I hummed, loving the feel of it. “How is it your fault when that dog runs his mouth?” Isaac pulled back to look down at me but kept me in the circle of his arms. “That bastard hit you. He hurt you, body and soul. No one deserves that, least of all you. I wanted... I wanted to... but you wouldn't let me. Your heart is too big. I don’t know if you were protecting him or me, but you wouldn’t let me take out how angry I was on him, even though he deserved it. And I figure if you can let go of what he did to you, then who was I to hold a bigger grudge? So I did what I could to be there for you when you were down. And soon, all I saw was you.”
“But if it hadn’t been for me…”
“This is what I’ve been telling you, Riley, for months. This is the world we live in. It’s the way of things.” He said it so simply, not as something that was a sad, pathetic thing; just a statement of fact.
“But that’s not… it’s not right.”
“Maybe it ain’t, but that don’t change it. Maybe nothing will. Maybe time will, who knows? But in my gut, I know who I can trust. I know who looks at me and sees me, not some damn idea they have in their heads.” He moved his hand, running a finger along my bottom lip. “This thing we got… I told you, it won’t be easy.”
“Nothing good is ever easy, Isaac.”
There was a pause as unasked questions hovered around us. I considered what life would be like with Isaac, that no matter how committed we might be to our relationship, we could not exist in a vacuum. Struggles would follow us wherever we went, and would spill out to our families, our loved ones, our friends.
He waited. Although Isaac was the one who moved with caution, the one who refused to assume that the easy road would be ours to travel, he waited for me to come to a decision. He wanted me to say yes, but wouldn’t ask the question. He would not lead me anywhere, but would be waiting for me when I arrived—if I didn’t turn back.
“Isaac?” He nodded again and brought me closer. His cheeks were wide, his features strong and he closed his eyes, as though he relished the feel of my fingertips over his face. “Will you love me? No matter what happens?”
Isaac pulled me around him, holding me against his large body, his hand around my waist. His voice was quiet, but filled with strength, with conviction. “Always.”
No one had touched me like Isaac. He had a way about him, something real and honest that was assured by his long, perfect fingers down my back and the slip of his tongue inside my mouth. There was no fear, not when those fingers gripped me tighter, when he slowly lowered my zipper and held my hand as I stepped out of my dress.
He watched me then, and even though a different Riley might have been shy, I liked the way his stare felt against my bare skin. It was me he wanted, only me; only I could sate his hunger, redeem that desperate look that had caught him in a silent pause.
Isaac still held my hand, arm extended with that hard, greedy gaze working over me. He made me feel needed, wanted, he made me feel necessary. And when he pulled my hand to rest it against his heart, I held my breath, waiting to hear what he thought, hoping he wanted me as much as I wanted him. “My sweet… my beautiful Riley.”