“I ain’t a little girl. I’m plenty old enough to hear about grown up things. Whether you like me or not, we’re friends now. You can be honest.”
Rinsing, spitting and cleaning up buy me an extra few seconds to think carefully about what I want to say next. Wren’s forwardness must be rubbing off on me. “You’re right. I’ll probably jerk off and then go to sleep.”
Now it’s her turn to laugh in shock. The pleasant sound of her husky laugh is a balm to my prickly soul, and it sinks down under my skin. I use the convenient excuse of needing to condition my facial hair to stay bent over the sink and not make eye contact with her.
“The way I see it, we need to keep an eye on each other. Each of us needs to make sure the other one is eating and sleeping and staying entertained,” she says.
When finished in the bathroom, I lean my backside against the counter and gaze down at her. She’s so wide open with me. Wren brings out every protective urge in me, but the thing I need to protect her from most is me. I have nothing to offer her but my simple, old, grumpy ass.
The undeniable pull, though. That’s the problem. I feel it like a tangible piece of rope between us. I can’t stay away from her no matter how hard I try, and she sure as hell seems to want to be close to me. I want so badly to touch her, pull her into me, feel those soft lips on mine.
“I’ve been doing my best to scare you away. Why aren’t you scared?”
Wren fidgets with the hem of her sweater. She might not realize her pulling at the edge is tempting me to look at the gap between her lovely thighs, thinking about how they might feel wrapped around my hips, pulling me close. She shakes her head when she answers but does not look up at me. “Compared to the life I’ve lived, you’re the least scary person I’ve ever met.”
“Because I remind you of the dad you never had?”
She scoffs. “No, because you remind me of a human being.” Her eyes connect with mine, and they’re full of fire.
We stare at each other for a moment, each of us holding one end of this invisible rope. Which one of us is going to pull on it?
Turns out, the answer is neither.
We both simply let go, and everything comes together at once.
I lean down just as Wren steps close to me. Our lips meet in the middle. My hands cradle her face; hers clutch my arms. The softness of this first kiss pulls at every one of my heartstrings. Her full lips feather against mine, leave me wanting more. Pulling away from her, even for a moment, feels like a stab in my chest, but I have to regain control. Though her sweet taste remains on my lips, ending the kiss might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
She deadpans, “That’s one way to pass the time until we go to sleep.”
“I’m sorry,” I say stupidly, not able to think of anything else.
Her eyes narrow. “What are you sorry for? That was a good kiss.”
“Good?”
She smiles. “Yeah. It was nice.”
“That’s even worse.”
“Sam. You know you’re a good kisser, stop it.”
I puff my chest out in mock confidence. “You’re right; I am a good kisser.”
Wren playfully pinches the arm she’s holding. “Then why don’t you kiss me properly?”
I walk past her, my conscience getting the better of me, and I sit down on the edge of the bed. “I just like to take things slow. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She sits down next to me and takes my hand. I look down and see her running her small hand up the back of it, slowly smoothing her fingers up my forearm, tracing my veins and sinews. The fire inside me builds with every touch. “Sam. You’re not going to hurt me. For proof, would you like to see the size of my vibrator?”
“Wren. God, no. That’s not what I meant.”
She giggles and it’s all I can do to keep from laying her flat on her back and covering her body with mine.
“Does me talking about my vibrator make you uncomfortable?”
I sigh. “What I meant was, if things go too far, I could end up hurting your feelings. Or vice versa. I’m not good at relationships.”
Wren pulls her legs up to rest her chin on her knees and wraps her arms around her ankles, making herself resemble a little bird even more. An especially rare one, with wide, violet eyes and shiny, silvery-lavender hair. “What happened to you, Sam? What did you do to yourself to make you think you can’t enjoy life? How long are you gonna beat yourself up for calling off a wedding?”
I look down at my hands. “I broke her heart. It’s what I deserve.”
Wren’s toe nudges my leg. “You would’ve broken her heart worse eventually if you’d gone through with the wedding, though, right?”
“I don’t know,” I grit out. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
My eyes study the backs of my hands, which hang limply between my knees, my elbows resting on my thighs. “What do I have to do to shut you up so I can go to sleep?”
“Kiss me again.” Her hand grips my arm and my breathing becomes shallow.
“No, ma’am.”
“Why not?”
“Because it ain’t proper.”
She stares at me like I’m crime scene evidence and she’s a forensic scientist, trying to find a clue.
“Why is it not proper?”
“Because I don’t want to take a woman I just met to bed in a hotel room just because it’s fun.”
This causes her to sit up, wide-eyed.
“Oh no. Don’t tell me you’re one of those purity types.”
“Nah, that ain’t it. I was just raised to believe that a man should protect a woman’s reputation.”
“A little late for that, Sam. I’m a mess.”
I turn and cover both her warm hands with mine, which has the added advantage of keeping her caresses at bay. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. That’s a part of the whole protecting a woman’s reputation thing. I have to stop you from running yourself down. It’s not allowed.”
Her cringe makes my heart squeeze and I don’t know what to say.
“I don’t need your protection. I just want… I don’t know… I just like to be close to you—is that wrong?”
I reply weakly, “I’m too old. You shouldn’t be wasting your life on an old man.”
The look in her eyes pains me. “Now who’s running themselves down?”
But she needs to be reminded of the truth. “You have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you want to get involved with me?”
She chuckles. “Well it ain’t your personality, that’s for sure.”
Damn if that doesn’t make me bust out laughing. Again.
“Wren, the more you make me laugh the more I want to kiss you again.”
Her hand slips out of mine and works its way up my thigh. “Then calm your tits, man. Maybe all we need here is some company during these unbearably boring evenings.” Her lips land on my cheek, just in front of my ear.
Damn. That feels good.
“What if we develop feelings for each other? Then what? I’m supposed to take you home to my ranch?”
She murmurs in my ear, “Maybe. Or maybe all I want is you to hold me and tell me everything is going to be OK.”