And Linc had kissed him, taken the initiative, twice now. He’d as much as told Jacob that he wanted him. That coupled with the fire in his eyes when he thought no one was looking made Jacob bolder than he’d otherwise be. And he’d persisted in large part because Linc’s reasons for not giving in to what they both wanted were so damn flimsy, especially now.
“You got a bed, Linc?” he’d asked when Linc had finally pulled back from the kiss, just enough to rest his head against Jacob’s. Calling that fireball a kiss was a disservice to all the sweet, gentle kisses out there, but damn if Jacob didn’t want more. They’d ground together, fitting together like gears finally sliding into place, and he’d been just this side of coming in his suit pants when Linc pulled back.
“A what?” Linc blinked, still looking every bit as grief-stricken as before the kiss.
“Bed. Let’s go to bed.” He rubbed Linc’s shoulder, the need to touch and soothe every bit as strong as the lust. “Let me make you forget...everything. At least for a little while.”
Maybe it was the tenderness that Linc didn’t want, the sympathy and understanding. Or maybe it was the need to be decisive, to actively choose to go to bed with Jacob as opposed to more or less falling into that kiss. But whatever it was, Linc stepped all the way back, shaking his head. “We can’t.”
“Sure we can. What’s the point of holding out anymore anyway? Wyatt’s gone and—”
“You need to leave.” Linc’s voice was low, a tone that brooked no further arguments and had him feeling small and ashamed. He hadn’t meant he was glad about Wyatt, not at all, but more that all this wanting-but-not-doing was stupid and pointless and had been for years.
And now it was months later, and the memory still made him the same mix of horny and guilty and frustrated. Linc needed to listen to reason, at least once in his life. But Jacob had said his piece at his mom’s party, made the offer. The ball was in Linc’s court now, and Jacob wasn’t going to keep pushing, especially not when they had work to do.
At least they had a busy week in front of them—more jumps, more team building, pack-out practice with hauling gear long distances, and some actual forest work too, the other less exciting but no less important part of their job as they worked to prevent the sort of large-scale fires that necessitated emergency operations. Controlled burns, tree removal, brush piling, construction and other maintenance jobs were a big part of what they did. Which meant he wasn’t surprised when a good chunk of their drizzly Monday was spent with chainsaws whirring, out on assignment, practicing some of their skills on an active forest management project.
“This is key because later this week we’re practicing cargo drops and some jumps with gear. We’ll do some tree removal in a remote drop site, then pack out to a rendezvous point, a light version of what we’ll do during the fire season,” Linc explained as they packed their equipment into forest service trucks before heading to the project.
“Trust me. I’d much rather cut timber than be in the classroom.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Linc was borderline gruff, but Jacob ignored him and climbed in back of the truck, next to Garrick. If he acted normally, Linc would too. Eventually.
And he was right because Linc settled down when they were out there, scaling trees and hauling branches and doing the other work that needed doing. Linc and the other guys had worked together so long that they had a natural rhythm, a steady patter of inside jokes and good-natured insults that kept the day moving and the work from getting too boring. Of course, it would be far different in the middle of an active fire, but Jacob enjoyed the tree climbing and other arduous tasks. He didn’t even mind the teasing that the others sent his way. It was worth it if it meant getting to hear Linc laugh and if it gave him a better shot of fitting in.
“Damn. You’re fast.” Garrick whistled low as Jacob made fast work of returning to level ground after a preliminary ascent to prepare for felling a tree. The praise felt good, even if he did wish Linc were the one acknowledging his skills.
“Guess we can use you when we have to do some demos like we do for the school groups sometimes. Less waiting around for the kids.” Linc picked up his chainsaw.
“Is that the same thing as ‘good job’ in Linc-speak?” he teased as soon as the others were out of earshot, heading down the trail to the next spot.
“Good job ensuring that Sims and the higher-ups will give you extra work all season long.” Linc’s voice lightened. “But, then you always did seem part cat, leaping from branch to branch like that. What were those obstacle courses you used to do when you were training on the regular?”
“Parkour. I still do them some, especially in the winter. And when Tyler or some others from the old squad are in town and want to work out.”
“Thought he stayed in Vegas pretty much full-time these days,” Linc growled.
Oh, good. Nice to see he wasn’t indifferent to jealousy. Jacob didn’t even bother trying to hide his smile. “He is. But he’s still got family here. And all that old shit between us...over and done. It’s easier to be friends now, forget there was ever anything else there. He’s still fun to spar with.”
“He broke your damn heart,” Linc said in an urgent whisper, almost like he wouldn’t turn down the chance to lay Tyler flat himself. That was cute.
“Hearts heal.” Jacob shouldered his gear. Truth was, whatever he’d felt for Tyler had faded like the summer sun, mellowing into a sort of cool regard where he could appreciate being crazy kids together but not get worked up over old hurts. However, not even Tyler worked him up like Linc did, which was why he hurried to keep up with the others, keep the temptation to flirt at bay. Linc would either take him up on his offer or not. Most likely not, but Jacob would deal with that disappointment in due time, away from the job. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with a pointless crush, but at the same time, he wasn’t quite ready to give up all hope.
For the rest of the week, he managed to keep his distance. The work was grueling but with each successive jump and task he was even more sure that this was the work he was supposed to be doing. He didn’t stop wanting Linc’s praise, but he tried to focus on the things he could actually control. Wanting Linc wasn’t one of those things, but there was also no point in making both of them continuously miserable.
Not when the job was still so new, and his life was very literally on the line with each new skill and mission. By Thursday, he was ready for their first cargo drop and pack-out. He’d had several successful jumps that week and was ready to finally feel like a functional crew member at last.
Getting the chainsaws and other equipment ready to drop was much more complicated than he had thought. Everything had to be packed exactly right and loads balanced to ensure that the cargo arrived at the same place they did. They’d even take MREs and other rations down with them. With a real deal fire, they would take at least forty-eight hours’ worth of supplies on their person and in the form of cargo drops. Even their own weights had to be balanced—him taking on more since he was the lightest of their four, something Garrick delighted in pointing out.