“Cole.”
His hands closed around her shoulders. “Because I would. In an instant. No hesitation. Not ever.”
She shook her head. “Don’t say…”
Understanding flashed on his face. “Are you afraid to hear the truth?”
No, she wasn’t afraid. She was—
“Because I want you to know it. I love you, Evie. I loved you two years ago, and I love you now, and to be quite honest with you, I’m sure I’ll love you until the day I die.”
Her body jerked in his hold.
“Is that what you didn’t want me to say? You didn’t want to hear that I love you because you don’t love me?” He let her go. Didn’t step back. Just stood there, all strong and resolute. “I know you saw the tattoo.”
Her heart pounded too fast. Too hard. Too loud. “You…have a lot of tattoos.”
“Because I have a lot of fucking scars.”
Shock stole her breath. Even though she’d feared…
“Your brother was telling the truth. I did have a mission that went to fucking hell.” His jaw clenched. Then, he gritted out, “Hell. I lived through it, though. Lived through that sonofabitch slicing me with his knife over and over because he thought he could make me talk. He thought he could break me. He couldn’t. Because every single time that blade cut me, I just thought of something else.”
She still couldn’t draw in a deep breath.
“I thought of you, Evie. I thought of coming back to you. I knew I had to come back. I wanted a second chance. I wanted to tell you I was sorry, and I wanted a shot with you.”
But you came back, and Harrison never told me, and I spent too much time being angry and hurt.
“The SOB wanted me to break. I didn’t. When I wouldn’t talk, he planned to burn me alive. Had this whole big explosion planned. I had other plans.” Now Cole retreated as he put a few careful feet between them. “I didn’t break. He broke, though. I made sure of it.” His chin lifted. “Right before I killed him and all the other bastards working with him.”
A shiver slid over her.
One that his sharp stare caught. “Yes, I’m a monster. You knew that already, didn’t you?”
“No.”
“Yes.” A slow nod. Then, voice low and rough, he added, “But I’m your monster, baby. The big, bad wolf who bows to your command. There is not anything in this world I would not do for you. That’s why your brother originally called me back in. He knew that truth. Knew I would protect you with my life. Knew that I would trade my life for yours in an instant.”
About five feet separated them. Chill bumps covered her arms.
Cole lifted up his arms. Stared at the tattoos. “I was going to be covered by small white scars. Courtesy of that bastard’s knife. I didn’t want to live that way. I didn’t want to carry his marks on me for the rest of my life.”
The tattoos were beautiful. Dark and swirling. So many designs. So many—
“So I decided that I’d choose what I carried. I’d choose what the world saw. I picked out every tattoo. And you know what the very first one was?”
She swallowed.
He yanked the T-shirt over his head. Dropped it to the floor.
“Your name,” Cole said simply.
She saw the careful cursive lettering over his heart.
“Because you marked me, Evie. You took my heart, and for the rest of my life, I knew it would always be yours. I don’t love easily. I’m the one who doesn’t let others get close.” A pause. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wanted something good on me. Not scars from that prick’s knife. Something good. So I started with your name.”
She blinked quickly.
He cursed. “I’m fucking this up. That’s a trend I have with you.”
He wasn’t fucking anything up.
“I don’t expect you to love me. I get that I screwed the pooch on that one the first time around. But when this is over, can you give me a second chance?” His hands were tight fists at his sides. “Can we start over? Let the past go and just see what might happen? You know, when I’m not being an asshole and you’re not in danger, and we’re just two normal people?” His lips twisted. “Though I’m sure Chase would say it’s impossible for me to not be an asshole, but he doesn’t know me like you do.”
She was just staring at him.
“Evie?”
She should speak. She should say something. It was just hard. Shock was rather hard to deal with when it came and slapped you across the face. You didn’t expect the blow, so you kind of stood there, all stunned.
“I see.” A nod. “I…I’m glad I got to tell you how I felt. I promise, I wasn’t trying to force you to take me back. That’s not what this was about.” He turned away. “I—”
“Stop.” The word burst from her. Angry. Because she was still angry. Angry at him. Angry at Harrison. Angry at herself.
Gia was missing. The nightmare was wrapping tighter and tighter around them. And Cole—Cole was telling Evie that he loved her.
“You spoke. Now it’s my turn.” She had the damn metaphorical talking stick.
He squared his shoulders and slowly angled toward her. “Fair enough.” He waited. His expression told her that he didn’t expect to hear any good news from her.
“Your timing is horrible.”
He nodded. “Yes, I, uh, get that.”
“A woman was kidnapped. Bad guys are lurking everywhere I turn, and you decide—now—to tell me that you love me.”
Another nod. “I can see where this might not be the optimum moment.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “You can? Not optimum?”
He tensed.
“You know what else isn’t optimum?” Evie pushed. “You dying for me. That’s not optimum.” She took one hard step forward.
“I—”
“You standing there, telling me that some crazy psycho cut you over and over again—tortured you—and I didn’t know. That’s not optimum.” Another hard step.
“There was no point in telling you. You would have only felt sorry for me. Pitied—”
“I feel many things for you, Cole. Be certain of that. But I have never pitied you.” Is that what he thought? That she would stare at him in pity? “I can hurt for you, I can want to hurt the bastard who injured you, but I don’t pity you.” I hate that you were in pain and that I wasn’t there.
He looked down at the floor. “You weren’t the only one to wake up yelling from nightmares. When I did, I called your name.”
She stiffened. “Not optimum.”
His head snapped up.
“It’s not optimum that I hear about this now.” A third step. She’d almost closed all the distance between them. “Now, when everything is still crazy. When we have to catch the bad guys. When my brother is about to risk his life. It’s not optimum that I hear all of this now.”
“Sorry.” Cole cleared his throat. “If we catch the perps tonight, I thought you might want me out of your life. Seemed like I needed to tell you all of this while I had the chance.”
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “You put my name on your heart.”