“Not of you.” I sighed, trying to pull the words together in a way that made sense. “I can’t … I can’t just be an extension of you.”
“Eva.” His features softened. “I can’t change who I am, and I don’t want to change who you are. I just want us to be who we are—together.”
I kissed him. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted us to live the same life, too, to be together in every way we could be. But I also believed that neither of us was ready.
“Gideon.” I kissed him again, my lips clinging to his. “You and me, we’re barely strong enough on our own. We’re getting better all the time, but we’re not there yet. It’s not just about the nightmares.”
“Tell me what it’s about, then.”
“Everything. I don’t know … It’s not right for me to live in a place Stanton pays for anymore now that Nathan isn’t a threat. And especially not now that my parents hooked up.”
His brows shot up. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “Total mess.”
“Move in with me,” he said, rubbing my back to comfort me.
“So … I skip right over making it on my own? Am I always going to live off someone else?”
“For fuck’s sake.” He made a frustrated noise. “Would you feel better if we shared the rent?”
“Ha! Like I could afford your penthouse, even paying just a third of it. And there’s no way Cary could.”
“So we’ll move in here or next door, if you want, and take over the lease. I don’t care where, Eva.”
I stared at him, wanting what he was offering but afraid I’d miss a big pitfall that would hurt us.
“You came to me as soon as you got up this morning,” he pointed out. “You don’t like being away from me, either. Why torture ourselves? Sharing the same space should be the least of our problems.”
“I don’t want to screw this up,” I told him, my fingers brushing over his chest. “I need us to work, Gideon.”
He caught my hand and pressed it over his heart. “I need us to work, too, angel. And I want mornings like this and nights like last night while we do it.”
“No one even knows we’re seeing each other. How do we go from being broken up to living together?”
“We start today. You’re taking Cary with you to the video launch. I’ll come up to the both of you with Ireland, say hi—”
“She called me,” I interrupted, “and told me to go up to you. She wants us to get back together.”
“She’s a smart girl.” He smiled and I felt a little thrill at the thought that he might be opening up to her. “So one of us will approach the other, make small talk, and I’ll say hi to Cary. You and I won’t have to fake the attraction between us. Tomorrow, I’ll take you out to lunch. Bryant Park Grill would be ideal. We’ll make a show of it.”
It all sounded wonderful and easy, but … “Is it safe?”
“Finding Nathan’s bracelet on a criminal’s corpse opens the door to reasonable doubt. That’s all we need.”
We looked at each other, sharing the feeling of hope, the sense of excitement and expectation in a future that had seemed so much more uncertain just yesterday.
He touched my cheek. “You made a reservation at Tableau One for tonight.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I had to use your name to get on the list, but Brett asked me out to dinner and I wanted us to go to a place connected with you.”
“Ireland and I have a reservation at the same time. We’ll join you.”
I shifted awkwardly, nervous at the thought, and Gideon thickened inside me. “Uh …”
“Don’t worry,” he murmured, his focus clearly shifting to more heated thoughts. “It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah, right.”
Banding his arms around my hips and shoulder blades, Gideon scooped me up and moved, rolling and putting me beneath him. “Trust me.”
I was going to reply, but he kissed me quiet and fucked me senseless.
I showered and dressed at Gideon’s, then hurried back down the hallway to my apartment for my purse and bag, trying not to look like I was sneaking around. It was easy to get ready at Gideon’s apartment, since he’d stocked the bathroom with all my usual toiletries and cosmetics, and had purchased enough clothes and underwear for me to never have to wear anything from my own closet.
It was too much, but that was the way he was.
I was rinsing off the mug I’d used for a quick cup of coffee when Trey came into the kitchen.
He smiled sheepishly. Dressed in a pair of Cary’s sweats and his own shirt from last night, he looked right at home. “Good morning.”
“Back atcha.” I put the mug in the dishwasher and faced him. “I’m glad you came to dinner.”
“Me, too. I had fun.”
“Coffee?” I asked him.
“Please. I have to get ready for work, but I’m dragging.”
“I’ve had those days.” I fixed him a cup and slid it over.
He took the mug and lifted it in a salute of thanks. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Do you like Tatiana, too? Is it weird for you, having us both around?”
I shrugged. “I don’t really know Tatiana, to be honest. She doesn’t hang with Cary and me the way you do.”
“Oh.”
I started heading out and squeezed his shoulder before I passed him. “Have a good one.”
“You, too.”
I checked my phone while taking a cab to work. I almost wished I’d walked, since the cabbie kept the front windows down and was apparently averse to wearing deodorant. The only saving grace was that it was faster than walking.
There was a text from Brett sent around six in the morning: On the ground. Can’t wait to c u 2nite!
I sent him back a smiley face.
Megumi looked good when I met up with her at work, which made me happy, but Will was looking glum. As I was putting my purse in a drawer, he stopped by my cubicle and rested his crossed arms along the low wall.
“What’s the matter?” I asked him, looking up at him from my chair.
“Help. Need carbs.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “I think it’s sweet that you’re suffering through this diet for your girl.”
“I shouldn’t complain,” he said. “She’s lost like five pounds—that I didn’t think she had to lose, mind you—and she looks amazing and has all this energy. But God … I feel like a slug. My body’s not built for this.”
“Are you asking me out to lunch?”
“Please.” He clasped his hands together like he was praying. “You’re one of the few women I know who actually enjoys eating.”
“I’ve got the butt to show for it, too,” I said ruefully. “But sure. I’m game.”
“You’re the best, Eva.” He backed up and bumped into Mark. “Oops. Sorry.”
Mark grinned. “No problem.”
Will headed back to his cubicle and Mark turned his smile to me.
“We’ve got the Drysdel team coming in at nine thirty,” I reminded him.