‘How much longer?’
‘Can I get back in the car?’
Jim flicks his head as if to say, go on then.
‘I’m not gonna lie,’ I tell him, getting into the passenger side. ‘I’m totally freaking out. Oh, God.’
‘Okay, just breathe.’
I obey, but not without a struggle. The panic is unreal. I close my eyes, knowing that I’ll have to retrace my steps from yesterday. The breathing is helping; Jim’s advice is sound.
‘I just need another minute or two,’ I whisper.
‘Well, I’m also gonna close me eyes then,’ Jim says. ‘Don’t mind me.’
16
Jim
She’s quiet.
I don’t want to blame Zara for the headache I’ve got, but Christ. Every time she speaks, she might as well take a little hammer out and batter my brain. Every passing second is like I’m standing on an escalator, walking up the one that’s moving downwards. If I run, it only speeds up. I’m stuck; I can’t get off.
So, this moment of calm, this miniature window of tranquility, I’m all in.
In fact, I can feel myself nodding off.
Ah. This is nice. A little kip’s just what I need. Then I can say adios to this maniac and drive to Griffo’s dad’s, a bit more perky, head a bit clearer to explain why I’m so late. I know I won’t be getting fifty gr—
Stop.
I’m not ready to acknowledge this yet.
I’m swaying. My eyes are closed, my body still, my head against the seat. And yet, I’m swaying. My whole everything sways, it swarms, it’s drowning in a black ocean of giant waves and I’ve forgotten how to swim. Or, no. I’m just too weak to survive it. I’m going to be sick. Oh God, if I keep my eyes closed, I will, I’ll vomit. Breathe. Just breathe, fella. Focus. I’m going to have to open my eyes and stop this merry-go-round spinning. But, I want some time, I want some sleep. It’ll help me out when I finally get the chance to see Griffo’s dad, especially since my phone’s dead and I can’t ring him. If I can just get some kip, I can apologise without yawning.
Apologise?
Griffo’s dad isn’t the sort of fella you want to apologise to.
Oh, fuck this day. Fuck. It. All.
17
Zara
I hadn’t planned on inviting him back to my papa’s villa.
Plenty of taxis were waiting outside the hotel and Nick still had his arm around my shoulders. I didn’t want to break free from his safe hold, to sit alone in the back of a car with a strange man driving me home who would simply see me as a drunk girl leaving a bar. And I know, Nick Gregory was a strange man, too. But Nick had witnessed the whole incident. Even if he wasn’t the only person to see what had happened, he was the only one who acted upon it.
We talked the whole way, just like two regular people who had hooked up, and his cute accent and bad jokes made the ache in my cheek somehow ease.
It felt natural to invite Nick in for a drink.
He told me to find a first aid kit and helped to clean then fix a Band-Aid over my injury.
Nobody was home. My papa had taken Marina with him on a business trip to Singapore, plus Sammy was away at school. I opened a bottle of wine, grabbed two glasses and took them into the garden where Nick was already making himself comfortable on the hammock.
‘I can’t believe you live in a house with a swimming pool,’ Nick said.
‘It’s hardly a swimming pool. More of a pond without fish.’
‘Beats the puddles in me garden at home. This is boss.’
‘Boss?’
‘Oh, I mean good, great, amazing. Liverpool slang.’
We chatted for a while, small talk and more bad jokes. We came up with a feast of insults that would suit that vile bastard George. I was amazed at how much I could laugh about somebody who was so awful to me just hours ago. As I was about to get a second bottle of wine, Nick attempted to get out of the hammock.
‘Can we go inside, sweetheart?’ he asked, failing to sit up with any hint of elegance.
‘Struggling with the heat?’ I smiled.
‘Amateur.’
He held out his hands for help and I was more than happy to assist. I’d kicked my high heels off and he was much taller beside me now as he came to standing. He lowered his head and cupped my face in his hands, then gave me a soft kiss on my sore cheek, below the Band-Aid.
I pulled away.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
But, what did Nick have to be sorry for? He’d been nothing short of wonderful since George had attacked me. Nobody could have made me feel more cared for. What’s more, he had cut his night out in Dubai short to take me home and make sure I was completely fine. Nick had treated me with respect, something I hadn’t experienced for the longest time.
I tilted my head away, exposing my left cheek, the one that was untouched, unscarred.
Nick bent over and kissed that side instead.
‘We should go inside,’ I said.
‘That would be more comfortable,’ he smiled, relieved.
Over plenty more wine, we sat in the kitchen and talked until the sun started to make an appearance. We both agreed that Reese Witherspoon was the sweetest person on the planet. We didn’t understand why people chose to have a dog, but totally got the need for a cat. Nick took great interest in the brightly coloured sketches pinned onto the fridge of various animals surfing, and chuckled, asking where they came from. He wanted to get some for himself.
‘They’re mine,’ I admitted. ‘Well, I drew them. For my little brother, Sammy.’
‘Impressive,’ Nick said. ‘Talented as well as beautiful.’
‘He likes to surf.’
Things became a bit silly and we danced on the white-tiled floor to a string of cheesy eighties songs blaring from my laptop. Nick grabbed a mop and displayed some bizarre moves that had me aching with laughter. We playfully touched each other’s fingers. I sat on his knee and cuddled into his chest. It didn’t occur to me that this time with Nick would ever come to an end.
‘I need to go,’ he said.
‘I don’t want you to go,’ I said, panic rising.
‘Me flight’s in a few hours, sweetheart.’
Nick had built a wall around me, one that was made of silk pillows, twinkling with blue lights. He had wrapped me up and protected me from the pain, and now he was leaving. That wall was already beginning to fall down.
‘If it makes you feel better, I don’t want to go either,’ he said.
‘Then stay!’
‘I can’t. I’ve got to get back.’
‘Why? You told me you mainly work from home. Work from here.’
I know I sounded desperate, but he was leaving, and without him, I was exposed. I had nothing to lose.
‘Fine. I’ll come to England,’ I said.
‘You’re welcome any time.’
‘I will. I’ll come … today! I can fly out today. Why the hell not?’
‘Yeah, why the hell not? But, sweetheart, you won’t see me in England.’
‘Why?’
‘Once I get back, I’ve got a lot of work to do and then I’m on a few more business trips. It’s a crazy time of year. Honestly, just relax. Let’s keep in touch.’