“Doctor.” Gideon set one ankle on the opposite knee and settled back, creating a picture of unyielding decisiveness. “The only way I’m keeping my hands off her is if I’m dead. Find another way to fix us.”
* * *
“I’m new to this therapy thing,” Gideon said later, after we’d gotten back into the Bentley and were heading home. “So I’m not sure. Was that the train wreck it felt like it was?”
“It could’ve gone better,” I said wearily, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I was bone tired. Too tired to even think about catching the eight o’clock Krav Maga class. “I’d kill for a quick shower and my bed.”
“I have some things to take care of before I can call it a day.”
“That’s fine.” I yawned. “Why don’t we take the night off and see each other tomorrow?”
Thick silence greeted my suggestion. After a moment, it became so fraught with tension that I was motivated to lift both my head and my heavy eyelids to look at him.
His gaze was on my face, his lips thinned into a frustrated line. “You’re cutting me off.”
“No, I’m—”
“The hell you’re not! You’ve tried and convicted me, and now you’re shutting me out.”
“I’m exhausted, Gideon! There’s only so much bullshit I can take before I’m buried in it. I need sleep and—”
“I need you,” he snapped. “What is it going to take to make you believe me?”
“I don’t think you cheated. Okay? As suspicious as it all looks, I can’t convince myself you’d do that. It’s the secrets that are getting to be too much. I’m giving all I’ve got to this and you’re—”
“You think I’m not?” He twisted in the seat, sliding one bent leg in between us so that he faced me directly. “I’ve never worked so hard for anything in my life as I have for you.”
“You can’t make the effort for me. You have to do it for you.”
“Don’t give me that crap! I wouldn’t need to work on my relationship skills for anyone else.”
With a low moan, I rested my cheek against the seat and closed my eyes again. “I’m tired of fighting, Gideon. I just want some peace and quiet for a night. I’ve been feeling off all day.”
“Are you sick?” He shifted, cupping the back of my neck gently and pressing his lips to my forehead. “You don’t feel hot. Is your stomach upset?”
I breathed him in, absorbing the delicious scent of his skin. The urge to press my face into the crook of his neck was nearly overwhelming.
“No.” And then it hit me. I groaned.
“What is it?” He pulled me into his lap, cradling me close. “What’s wrong? Do you need a doctor?”
“It’s my period,” I whispered, not wanting Angus to overhear. “It should start any day now. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before. No wonder I’m so tired and cranky; I’m hormonal.”
He stilled. After a heartbeat or two, I tilted my head back to search his face.
With his lips twisted ruefully, he admitted, “That’s a new one for me. Not something that comes up in the course of a casual sex life.”
“Lucky you. You get to experience the inconvenience reserved for men with girlfriends and wives.”
“I am lucky.” Gideon brushed loose strands of my hair away from my temples, his own luxuriant hair falling around that chiseled face. “And maybe, if I’m really lucky, you’ll feel better tomorrow and like me again.”
Ah, God. My heart ached in my chest. “I like you now, Gideon. I just don’t like you keeping secrets. It’s going to break us up.”
“Don’t let it,” he murmured, tracing my brows with his fingertip. “Trust me.”
“You have to trust me back.”
Folding over me, he pressed his lips softly to mine. “Don’t you know, angel?” he breathed. “There’s no one I trust more.”
Sliding my arms beneath his jacket, I hugged him, soaking up the warmth of his lean, hard body. I couldn’t help but worry that we were beginning to drift from one another.
Gideon pressed the advantage, his tongue dipping into my mouth, lightly touching and teasing mine with velvet licks. Deceptively unhurried. I sought a deeper contact, needing more. Always more. Hating that aside from this, he gave me so little of himself.
He groaned into my mouth, an erotic sound of pleasure and need that vibrated through me. Tilting his head, he sealed those beautifully sculpted lips over mine. The kiss deepened, our tongues stroking, our breaths quickening.
The arm he’d banded beneath my back tightened, pulling me closer. His other hand slid beneath my shirt, cradling my spine in his warm palm. His fingertips flexed, gentling me even as the kiss grew wild. I arched into the caress, needing the reassurance of his touch against my bare skin.
“Gideon . . .” For the first time, our physical closeness wasn’t enough to calm the desperate wanting inside me.
“Shh,” he soothed. “I’m here. Not going anywhere.”
Closing my eyes, I buried my face in his neck, wondering if we’d both be too stubborn and stay, even if it turned out that it would be best to let go.
Chapter 4
I woke with a cry that was muffled by the sweaty palm mashed over my mouth. A crushing weight cut off my air as another hand shoved up beneath my nightgown, groping and bruising. Panic gripped me and I thrashed, my legs kicking frantically.
No . . . Please, no . . . No more. Not again.
Panting like a dog, Nathan yanked my legs apart. The hard thing between his legs poked blindly, ramming into my inner thigh. I fought, my lungs burning, but he was so strong. I couldn’t buck him off. I couldn’t get away.
Stop it! Get off me. Don’t touch me. Oh, God . . . please don’t do that to me . . . don’t hurt me . . .
Ma-ma!
Nathan’s hand pressed down on me, squashing my head into the pillow. The more I struggled, the more excited he became. Gasping horrible, nasty words in my ear, he found the tender spot between my legs and shoved into me, groaning. I froze, locking in a vise of horrendous pain.
“Yeah,” he grunted. “. . . like it once it’s in you . . . hot little slut . . . you like it . . .”
I couldn’t breathe, my lungs shuddering with sobs, my nostrils plugged by the heel of his palm. Spots danced before my eyes; my chest burned. I fought again . . . needing air . . . desperate for air—
“Eva! Wake up!”
My eyes snapped open at the barked command. I heaved myself away from the hands gripping my biceps, gaining my freedom. I clawed away . . . fighting the sheets that bound my legs . . . tumbling down . . .
The jolting impact of hitting the floor woke me fully, and an awful sound of pain and fear scraped up through my throat.
“Christ! Eva, damn it. Don’t hurt yourself!”
I sucked in air with deep gulps and scrambled toward the bathroom on all fours.
Gideon scooped me up and gripped me to his chest. “Eva.”
“Sick,” I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth as my stomach roiled.