My eyes snap open, dragged from the memory at the sudden sound in the quiet. There is a fallen standing in the doorway, watching me, his eyes empty and dead. His wings are pulled in tight behind him, and he’s a sickish grey colour, his body not as strong as mine but lithe and thin. He’s taller though, he reminds me of those depictions of death in storybooks sheep love so much, even has the ugly fucking smile to cover it.
“Fallen,” he greets, his voice cool and emotionless. The fucking bastards. I never could muster that, always too much swimming around inside me. How they can serve these assholes with no emotions, I will never understand. Do they not want freedom, want to feast on their pain and blood for what they did? No, they are happy being servants.
“Brother.” I nod and he hisses.
“I am not your brother, fallen.” His voice whispers through the air. I try not to let the sting show as it sinks in, but even among my own kind I’m looked down on, disowned for the madness and emotions, for being stripped of my wings, something I had no control over. I survived but they all think I shouldn’t have, that it made me into...well, a fucking monster.
They aren’t wrong, but the part of me that’s still human aches at the thought of the people I was once family with, the children I grew up with, turning their back on me. I was never close with them, but they were all I had. They were jealous back then of what I had, but now? Now they would kill me given the order or choice. For simply surviving.
“What do you want?” I finally ask.
“To see why you are here. Is it to finally beg for forgiveness and meet death like a warrior?” he whispers, his voice filling the room with power, no doubt a gift from his angel father, the fuckers. He steps into the room then, so I sit up, my boots ringing out as they hit the floor, my hands loose at my sides, waiting. It wouldn’t be the first time they have attacked me, tried to kill me. The council calls it a test, saying if I don’t survive them, I have no worth, but if I do then I am of use.
“Or maybe to grovel at their feet, to try and become one of us? It will never happen,” he carries on, circling around the room, feathers ruffling. “You are too mad, we see it in your eyes, in your actions. You are uncontrolled, a force for sure, powerful thanks to your father, but your soul? It’s as black as your eyes, too far gone to be saved. You will never be one of us, one of those who serves, you are nothing but an experiment gone wrong, too human to be a warrior, too mad to be sane…”
“And what does that make you?” I snap, getting to my feet to face him. “You are an experiment, brother, just as human and angel as me. You forget where you come from. You think licking their boots makes you more holy? More worthy? It makes you a fool, one not strong enough to fight.”
He hisses again, his eyes bleeding into gold for a moment, another thing that makes me stand out. “We never loved, not like you. You craved the human, the one who birthed you, you held her close with your human sentiment. You let it blind you. We are the force the council uses, chooses to save and keep, and you...you are nothing more than an outcast that, in their mighty power, they deemed too sad to kill. One day they will and I will do it, and we will rejoice for the scourge is gone. They should have killed you that day, like they killed that human you loved and that angel.”
I snap, the madness taking hold. I’ve lost so much, faced so much pain and grief, and with my mother’s screams resounding in my ears and Dawn too far away to touch and drag close and keep safe, I let it all out...unleashed like the animal, the beast he accuses me of being.
He doesn’t even see me moving, he doesn’t expect it. He is too formal, too emotionless to see how hate and anger can guide you. It makes me reckless and unpredictable and he doesn’t know how to fight me. I grab him around the throat and my wings burst from my back as I drag him into the air and slam him back against the wall, next to the painting of our captors. His eyes widen slightly, his breath quickening for a moment, the only sign of fear he will share, to do otherwise would be to dishonor his father, his council.
I know they were treated worse than me back then. Their fathers didn’t love them, just what they stood for, a chance to train warriors. A lot of them were tough, hard, evil even, but I can’t help that or change it. I will not let them sully my father’s or mother’s names in my presence. They might have been raised by monsters, but they chose to work for them, they chose their path and now they have to live with it.
He fights my hold, but I’m too strong, the veins bulging in my arms with the strength of gripping him. He stops struggling and just stares at me. “What will you do now, fallen? Kill me? You do and they will torture you and rip your wings away again, you overvalue yourself, you are nothing but a toy to them.”
“And you are nothing but a blade,” I counter, leaning closer and letting him see the madness he thinks he knows, he has no idea. “You think they would really care if I kill you? There are hundreds of others just like you, waiting to step into your spot. You are nothing, disposable.”
A throat clears and we both turn our heads to see Veyo standing there with a dirty expression on his face. “That painting is very expensive. Wings away, fallen, they are ready to see you.” He sighs and waits until I release the man who drops to the floor before jumping to his feet, his arms crossed behind his back like a good soldier. I float to the floor, my wings going away as soon as I land and push them both back.
It’s about time. Now, let’s trick the council.
I watch them both go with a sigh on my lips. How I wish my little monster was here, but we will get her back soon and this infighting will stop. They wouldn’t dare bicker with her here. I lock up behind them and leave the key before walking into the forest, shedding my clothes as I change, my hands catching on the trees as I pass by, absorbing their knowledge and strength.
I feel the change wash through me, like letting out a breath as I move through the forest. I am to collect allies and wait near the council in case anything goes wrong, which tests my patience. I can feel my little monster, and to not be with her is a torture unto itself.
As I amble, I let out a call to the animals and creatures that linger in the forest under my protection. I hear their howls and songs of answer, and the stirring of the dark creatures that slumber here undisturbed under my protection, awakening as they feel my need. I called a few of my friends before I left and spoke to them. They were suspicious at first, not believing the council was behind it, but we all know the council has its own agenda, and these beings will stand with me if it turns out to be true. I also spoke to Victoria, who is scouring the city for any sign of The Others, as they called them, and she will report back to me. Additionally, she put the city on lockdown, so nothing moves without her knowing. Her last words were a warning—get Dawn back or she would. It seems my little mate is collecting friends as she goes.
Powerful friends.
I reach across the vast forest and send a whisper to the fae, knowing they want their people back too. If the council did this, they are going to face an army of angry supernaturals, all mixed and united because of them. All I care about, however, is getting my little monster back. She needs me and I need her.
Being apart from her after all my years of searching is painful, but she is strong, and if anyone can make it through, it is her. They do not know who they have taken or they would have let her be. It is very much like shaking a hornet’s nest, they will get stuck and not know what to expect from her. Even I don’t as her mate.