We make it to my bedroom and she places her backpack on my desk and walks over to my bed. “You can sleep in here, I’ll take the couch,” I say, and I watch as she kicks off her shoes and lies down.
And this has always been my biggest struggle in being alone with her. I can deal with being in the car, I can pretty much deal with being in any room alone with her besides the bedroom. Especially my bedroom. Controlling my thoughts is so much more difficult. She's my best friend. My best friend who no doubt views me as an older brother, a shoulder to lean on, a guy to hang out with. She’d probably never talk to me again if she knew every single time I’ve seen her on my bed my brain short circuits. I forget I’m not supposed to want her. I become preoccupied with how her skin might taste, how soft her lips would feel, and how her moans would sound. Blocking those thoughts is impossible when I see her lying there on her back, her hair spread on my pillow. It’s an instant turn on and I start to feel like a teen again, playing scenarios in my head where she walks to me slowly, telling me she’s wanted this for a long time. I’d undress her, kiss her, savor every inch of her body until she drips for me. Then I’d lie her down and watch her tremble as I kiss my way up her thighs, waiting until her chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. I’d spread her legs and…
“So.” I clear my throat, trying hard to clear my head. Shit, speaking of hard—my dick thickens, pressing against my pants, so I shift her duffle bag that was tucked under my arm toward my center before turning to slide it into the closet. “Are you going to warn her, or just let them handle it?” I ask, keeping my back to her, pretending to rearrange the shit in the small closet. It takes her a second to respond. When I think it’s safe, I turn back around.
“I don’t know,” she says, her head hanging low as she runs a hand back and forth over my bedspread. “But… thank you for being so amazing. Coming to get me and all.” A hint of a smile plays at the corners of her mouth and she raises her head to look at me briefly.
“Come on, you know I’m not going to let you face this alone.” Her smiles grow a little more as she looks at me, and even though I have a strict rule to never get in the bed with her, the urge to comfort takes over. I move slowly, telling myself that she needs me right now and to keep my shit in check. “It’s what we do for each other, right?”
“Yeah,” she says, sliding a little further onto the bed to give me room.
“Now, come here.” I lay down and, without thinking, I pull her against me. “You guys will get through this.”
I’m playing with fire, but her body feels so damn good this close. She smells like coconut and mint. Exhaling deeply, I relax against her, savoring the moment. I wonder what she’s thinking. It’s not weird to be this close to her—we’ve spent hours on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, watching movies and playing games. But never in this setting, and it makes all the difference. Just as I’m considering moving away, she snuggles a little closer, grabbing the arm I had placed gently on her waist, pulling it tighter around her body. I’m losing it here… fighting like fuck to keep my hands from roaming.
“Thank you,” she says after a few minutes. Her voice is warm and light, and I can tell she needs this comfort. Knowing this is enough to change my focus a bit and the battle I’ve been waging is easily won.
“You’re welcome,” I say, and we lay there in silence until we both drift off to sleep.
5
XIA
“Wake up, buttercup.” A loud, deep voice echoes through the room, jolting me awake. It takes me a second to recognize that it’s King. I sit forward, which causes Jordan to wake, his eyes fluttering as he looks in the direction of the knocking. King is one of Jordan's other close friends. He plays on the football team with Jordan and Roman, or I should say, played on the football team, since Jordan's last game was Wednesday night. It wasn't a real game since technically the season ended two months ago, but every year CHU hosts a charity game against the top high school team in the city. It serves a double purpose, as a way to bring more money to the Chrome Hills public school system while seeing if any of the high school players can hold their own against the college players. It will be so weird not watching him play anymore.
King is here just as often as Jordan and Roman. They might as well move into a bigger place so King can have an official bedroom. The three of them are really close; they're great guys and I've gotten to know them pretty well. It’s funny that they are such good friends but opposite in almost every way. Jordan is more serious. King is very much the romantic out of the group. Whereas Roman—I haven’t seen him with the same girl twice.
"Yeah?" Jordan hollers, rubbing his eyes.
"Man, what the hell are you doing asleep at nine p.m. on a Friday night?" King says as he walks through the door. "It's the last— " His words come to an abrupt halt when he looks into the room. "Shit, I'm sorry, man. I didn't realize you had company." He starts to back out until I pull my hood off my head.
"Hey, King," I say through a yawn.
"Oh, Xia. It's just you." He laughs. "I thought I busted in on my boy in here with a real girl."
My brows furrow and Jordan's rise as we watch King catch his slip.
"I mean. Not to say you aren't a real girl. You know you’re hot, baby. But you get what I mean. You're the buddy. No smashing." He laughs. I try to pretend my lungs didn’t just completely deflate as I look at him. Shit, is it that obvious? I’m just the buddy. Jordan’s little buddy that he could in no way ever be attracted to. Not even our friends could imagine anything more happening between us. I’ve been fooling myself.
I look from King back to Jordan with mock amusement as I shake my head, trying to play off the fact that I’m crushed. Jordan, on the other hand, doesn’t look amused as he stares daggers at King. Maybe he’s pissed he woke him.
"Yeah, King. No smashing," I force a laugh. King hesitates at the door as if he’s trying to decide if he should come in or not. I guess the awkward moment caused him to change his mind.
"Right. Well, bring y'all asses down here. Roe and I got some beers."
"Nah, we're going to pass." Jordan says, looking at me. "I think we're going to hang up here for the night."
"No, it's fine," I say, lowering my voice and meeting Jordan's gaze. "I'm okay. We can go." He looks at me with a question in his eyes but before he can protest I decide to speak up.
"We'll be down in a few," I say to King who nods and steps back into the hall.
"Zee, you sure? I'm good just hanging out up here with you. We can grab some food, watch TV."
"I'm sure. I want to go." I know he's doing this for me and I seriously love him for it, but I'd feel horrible if he spent the whole night up here because I'm upset. I don't want to ruin his evening and I could probably use people right now. "Plus we need to drink to you getting the teacher's assistant job for Satchi. That's huge."
"Yeah." He smiles. "I left out one part. I get the job pending on how well I do on the exam."