“But what about Rhett? Are you going to talk to him? Please don’t. I don’t want you near him,” my mother pleas in concern, the last bit of sobriety announcing itself, worried about me trying to go after her ex.
Yeah, like I’m going to go on the lookout to talk to that piece of trash. He’s probably spent my hard-earned money already, shoving whatever he could buy up his vein. That cash is long gone by now, and I’m not going to waste my time trying to get it back. There’s no point.
“He might get angry if you do. Just let it go, baby. I’ll make do somehow,” she continues, her long lashes stuck to the tears she’s shedding out of pure worry for my welfare. God, how I wish she could take care of herself.
“Come on, Momma. I don’t want you to worry about that, okay? I’m going to leave some money in our secret stashing place. But if that asshole comes back, don’t let him in. You hear me?”
“I’m sorry, baby. I know I shouldn’t have opened the door for him. It’s just, I get so lonely sometimes.”
“I know, Momma. I know.” I hug her to my side and make my way to the back of the trailer where her bedroom is. I tilt my head over to Finn before I close the partition.
“You can either take a seat or wait outside. I’ll only be a minute.”
“Sure,” he mumbles.
I watch his eyes take in our tiny couch, knowing there’s no way he’ll be comfortable there. I expect him to rush outside, but instead, he looks at the kitchen and stays put.
I don’t have time to placate his need for comfort since I want to make sure Mom is in the safety of her bed. I don’t want to worry that she may end up outside while being this messed up. Not that she would go out willingly on her own, but I’ll rest easier knowing she’s safe, sleeping it off.
She doesn’t complain when I remove her shirt and use a wet towel to wipe the day’s sweat off her skin. Once she’s clean enough, I pull a camisole over her head and help her into the bed.
“He’s very handsome,” she says all of a sudden, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Hmm,” I mumble, straightening up her bedsheet.
“Do you like him?”
“I like him enough.”
“I think you like him more than enough,” she singsongs.
“Hmm.”
“Just be careful, baby. First loves have a way of hurting more than the others,” she adds with a cautious tone to her slurred words. Her eyes look up at the heavens, and whatever is on her mind steals the little smile on her face, turning it into a saddened frown. “I miss your father,” she laments softly, finally revealing what ails her.
“I know, Momma.”
“I was thinking that maybe next weekend we can go visit him,” she adds expectantly, and I hate to be the one to damper the small flicker of hope in her eyes.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I mumble under my breath, knowing Dad still hasn’t added her name back on his visitor’s list.
Last time I went to the big house to see him, Dad was still adamant that Mom shouldn’t be in an environment that could only trigger her. Although they haven’t been together in over a decade, he loves her just as fiercely, and wouldn’t want to do anything that could harm her stability.
Like we had any after he was locked away.
“Yes, of course. You’re right,” she replies disappointedly, turning to her side, away from me.
“Sleep now, okay? Tomorrow, I’ll come over and have an early dinner with you before going to work. I’ll even bring you some fried chicken from Mable’s Diner, the one you like so much. Does that sound good?”
She gives me a sheepish nod, but I know fried food isn’t going to make things better for her. I don’t think anything will, really. Her mental state, combined with a broken heart, just leaves too many scars for her frail mind to overcome.
Life hasn’t been fair to her, but hopefully, the tides will change in our favor. I’ve been working my butt off at school to make it so. I’m going to do everything in my power to change our lives. To get us out of this shithole of a town and give her the proper care she needs. Dad had tried his best, but I’ll make sure to succeed where he failed.
I wait for a few minutes until I hear her breathing simmer down into a soft pace. Once I’m sure she’s out cold, I step outside her room, ready to get pretty boy out of here. God knows he must be counting the minutes for us to leave. However, I can’t help the smile that crests my lips when I see him washing my mother’s dirty dishes, looking right at home amongst all the mess.
“I never imagined you were so well house-trained,” I tease, behind him.
“I umm… I mean… is this okay? I just couldn’t keep still,” he stutters in embarrassment, placing another plate on the rack.
“I see that. Knock yourself out, quarterback.”
He throws me a meek grin and continues on with his task.
“How is she?”
“Okay. Okay for her, at least. Luckily it’s not one of her worst days.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“What isn’t wrong with her?” I sigh out. “She’s sick. Body, mind, and soul. But if you want to get technical, she suffers from bipolar disorder according to the doctor’s diagnosis.”
The confused look that shadows his features, trying to make sense of my explanation, is priceless. His forehead is wrinkled, and his clear blue eyes are focused on the soap suds while furiously scrubbing the plate in his hand. He seems lost in his head, trying to solve what looks to be the world’s hardest algebra problem.
“And this was a good day, you say?” Finn questions, confused, trying to get more data to help him process what he just encountered—the mess that is my life.
“Surprisingly so. After her frantic call earlier today, I was sure to find her worse off. But I guess the bourbon helped.” I sigh, picking up an empty bottle and throwing it in the trash.
“Should she be drinking at all? I mean, won’t that mess with her meds?”
“Now you’re talking like a true Northsider. What meds, pretty boy? You think she can afford the good stuff?” I retort back harshly.
“It was just a question, Stone,” he answers softly, making me feel like shit for snapping at him.
“I know it was,” I huff out, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. “Are you almost finished? I need to get out of here and breathe some fresh air.”
“Are you still in the mood for dinner?”
“Yeah, I am. But I don’t think I can handle whatever fancy place you picked out. Mind if we go somewhere else?”
“I’m all good with whatever you want, Stone,” he replies with a little sparkle in his sapphire eyes as he dries his hands with a dishcloth.
I try not to read too much into it, and instead walk over to the cereal cabinet and take out the box of Raisin Bran. No one eats this vile stuff, so if my mom’s ex, Rhett, decides to pay her a little visit again, this will be the last place he’ll look for cash. I take out the last twenty-dollar bill from my purse and stuff it inside, so she at least has money for bread and milk tomorrow morning. From the corner of my eye, I see Finn going to his back pocket, taking out his wallet and grabbing a few bills, too.