“So? Who cares who will be there?” he asks playfully, pushing me flat on the bed to be on top.
“I care,” I exclaim, playing with my tongue ring nervously.
“You’re going to have to do better than that, brat,” he taunts, crawling down to one breast and giving my sensitive nipple a little tug with his teeth.
I pull his head up with both hands, unwilling to be distracted by his sexy ways when this conversation hasn’t met its end.
“First of all, won’t your parents be pissed that I’m crashing their party?”
Finn lets out a little chuckle that, I swear, never fails to annoy the hell out of me just as much as it warms my insides. Or maybe it’s because the sound leaves me a gooey mush, that it irritates me so.
“You won’t be crashing. You’ll be my date. A guy can bring his girlfriend to his parents’ party, can’t he?”
I try not to give too much thought to how easily pretty boy just latched the ‘girlfriend’ title on me, especially when there is a bigger issue at hand.
“Finn, I’m serious. Don’t you think they’ll be just a little bit upset you’re bringing me?” I insist cautiously, leaving out the fact that his parents may not be thrilled with the idea of him showing up with a Southie on his arm.
“I don’t see why.”
“Really? You don’t see any problem at all? They don’t even know who I am, Finn.”
“So? What better way for them to get to know you. You’ll come and dazzle them with your sassy ass. Besides, my mom is on pins and needles waiting to meet you.” He chuckles, kissing the inside of both my wrists.
“She is?”
“Yep,” he explains excitedly. “But I didn’t invite you for her benefit. It’s time I show off my girl to my friends and family,” he coos, slowly slithering his body down mine so his mouth can once again latch onto my nipple. “And anyway, I met your mom, and I didn’t feel all this resistance when you brought me home.”
“That was different.”
“I don’t see how,” he counters, looking up at me with a new frown edged on his lips. “Why are you fighting this so hard, Stone? What’s the real reason why you don’t want to come?”
I maul my lower lip and look up at the ceiling instead of his stellar, baby-blue eyes. They always seem to stare right into my soul, trying their damnedest to disarm me of every weapon I might have against them. Thankfully, my cautious heart always keeps some ammunition stored away, precisely for protecting myself from situations like these.
I let out a long exhale, turning my gaze back to him, knowing I’m about to cause some serious damage to his fragile heart.
“I don’t think it’s time to meet the family, that’s all. Or your friends.”
He gives a stiff nod, instant sadness coating every feature of his beautiful face.
“Message received,” he quips back harshly.
He pulls his hard body off mine and gets out of the bed in one quick jump. Taking just a few seconds to search for his clothes, he grabs them from the floor and begins to get dressed.
“You’re angry,” I utter, sitting upright on the bed and leaning against the headboard.
I pull the sheets to cover my naked form as I watch him pull up his sweat pants and yank his T-shirt over his head in record time.
“I’m not angry, Stone. I’m disappointed. There’s a difference,” he snaps back, looking for his sneakers.
“It kind of looks the same from where I’m sitting.”
He lets out another scoff, and my chest begins to feel heavy with his reaction to my unwillingness to go to a stupid party.
“Where are you going? It’s not even daylight yet.”
“Didn’t you say you didn’t want to be caught with a boy in your room? Now is the perfect time for me to leave. Besides, I can’t be here right now.”
“You mean you can’t be here with me,” I quip back, getting pissed at his little tantrum.
He throws his hands in the air and looks over at me, his soft, blue eyes now holding a harsher shade.
“You’re right, I can’t. Because if I stay in this room, I’ll just end up making love to you again. And honestly, I want more from you, Stone. I want to feel like I’m not just another notch on your bedpost, and that you actually give a shit about me.”
“You’re being ridiculous and a bit of a drama queen. You know you mean more to me than just a quick fuck, Finn.”
“Oh, do I? Tell me, how am I supposed to know that? Tell me, how I’m supposed to believe you care for me at all? It’s like I push us to take one step forward in our relationship, only for you to pull us two steps back. And maybe that’s exactly how you want it,” he croaks, looking lost and confused, making my own eyes begin to burn, witnessing how he’s hurting.
“Finn,” I choke out, my heart not able to keep up with all these new feelings bombarding me so mercilessly.
I watch him shake his head, finally locating his Jordans, so he puts them on. Completely dressed now, Finn picks up his book bag and walks toward the door, stopping in front of it, but never once turning back to look at me.
“Figure out what you want, Stone. When you do, come and find me,” he utters. But before he has time to leave me to my sorrow, I jump out of bed and latch onto his back, holding him as if my life depended on it.
“Don’t go,” I rasp in panic. “Just don’t.”
He bows his head, and I feel his body trembling as hard as my own.
“I don’t know how to do this, Stone.”
“I don’t either,” I admit.
He turns around in my arms, holding my naked body tightly with his clothed one, his face lost inside the crook of my neck.
“Why does this have to be so hard?”
“I don’t know,” I hush, holding onto his rigid frame, praying I can say something, anything, to make him stay.
I wasn’t lying yesterday when I told Finn how much I missed him this past week. Somehow, without my consent or approval, he weaved his way into my heart and just won’t let go. Like the North Carolina sun on my face, I’ve come to be dependent on his presence. Crave it even.
The mere idea of him leaving while hurting is excruciating to me, only proving his theory right—we are both well past playing games, but somehow stumbled into the biggest one there is. We’ve fallen for each other, and I’m not sure either of us is equipped to deal with the rules that love has set out for us.
“Finn,” I stutter, the words burning inside my throat, demanding to see the light of day.
“Yeah?” he asks, breathing me in.
“Are we in love?”
He lets out another deep exhale and pulls his head back, allowing me to get lost in his sky blue eyes once again.
“I know I am. I’m just not sure you are, Stone. And it’s fucking killing me,” he confesses, his eyes crinkling at the sides so that I don’t see them start to water.