Something has been on his mind for the past few weeks now, and whatever it is, it’s consuming Finn from the inside. Ever since I went to his father’s birthday party, there has been a dark cloud cast over him, and as much as he tries to shake it off, the looming presence just won’t give him a moment’s peace. I’m not sure what happened, but I’m positive it’s something to do with that night. He was fine and happy one minute, and the next he looked as if his whole world was falling apart.
I didn’t want to pry at the time, but if I were a betting woman, my money would be on his father. I don’t think Hank Walker appreciated my presence in his house, nor the fact that Finn introduced me as his girlfriend. I’m sure he must have accosted him at some point in the evening and told him just as much, while I wasn’t looking. If that’s what has the Finn so upset and worried, then there really is no need to probe further.
The old man doesn’t like his star-athlete son dating a girl from the south side of town. So what? Like I care what he thinks of me. I’m sure he believes I’m just another gold-digger from the wrong side of the tracks, wanting to latch myself onto his son as a meal ticket out of the filth I was born into. As if I haven’t busted my ass to do that on my own. As long as Finn knows the truth, then I couldn’t care one way or the other about his father’s opinion.
As far as I’m concerned, there are only two people in this relationship—me and pretty boy. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, and I’m not afraid of saying those exact words right to the old man’s face, either.
“You know you can say anything to me, right?” I continue to probe patiently.
I’m hoping Finn will just come out and say whatever is troubling him. But instead of fessing up to his old man’s grief, he just tightens his hold on me, his head nestling on my chest to seek the comfort only I can give him.
“Nothing’s wrong, Stone.”
“You’re lying. And if it’s to spare my feelings, you really don’t have to. I’m a big girl, pretty boy. I can take the hit.”
“But maybe I can’t,” he mumbles, not wanting to look me in the eye. “I don’t want to lose you.” He breathes out hoarsely, making my stupid heart ache for him.
“Pretty deep conversation to have in the school’s parking lot, don’t you think?” I try to tease, but his grip on me increases, revealing the intensity of his worries.
Damn it.
His old man must have really done a number on him. I know Finn is doing everything in his power to please his father, even going as far as giving up his dream of being an astronomer. He does everything not to disappoint the old prick. And I get it. From what Finn has confided in me, I understand his father is a real tyrant who wouldn’t lose any sleep disowning his own flesh and blood.
But if Finn thinks his father can scare me away, then he has another thing coming. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care who Hank Walker thinks he is. The only person who can push me away is pretty boy himself, and by the way he’s desperately clinging onto me so tightly, I don’t see that happening.
“Hey, look at me,” I command softly, pulling the short ends of his hair, forcing him to crane his head back to look me in the eye.
“You have me, Finn. Nothing and no one will change that.”
His eyes turn a melancholic shade of blue, the deep-seated frown lines on his brow just as profound as the desolate look on his beautiful face.
“I wish that was true,” he mutters, pain and misery tainting each word.
What did that old man do to you, baby? I swear, if he were here, I’d punch him in the nards.
“If I didn’t have class in a few minutes, I’d show you just exactly how true that is.”
I wiggle my butt on his lap, his cock instantly coming alive. I can always count on the little devil in his pants to be ready to play. It’s the chaos swimming in Finn’s head that gets in the way sometimes, much like now.
“Stone?”
“What, baby?”
“Just kiss me, okay? Kiss me like you love me. Can you do that?” he asks anxiously, and the pinch of suffocating guilt wraps its ugly claws around my heart, telling me I’m just as pigheaded and cruel as his father, if not more.
How much of a bitch am I, that I can’t at least erase this doubt from his mind? His father plays with his head while I toy with his heart. How fucked up is that? No wonder Finn is unraveling. Everyone wants a piece of him, and no one is willing to soothe his vulnerable soul.
Instead of telling him how I love him with all my Southie-born heart, I do as he asks and kiss him. I let my lips ease his doubts, my tongue erase his worries, and my heart silently whisper to his that it belongs to him only. When Finn pulls away, his eyes beam brightly, acknowledging the words I’ve been too much of a coward to confess out loud. His warm hands gently caress my face as he takes me in, almost as if trying to memorize this moment. There is so much adoration and worship in his steel-blue eyes that my heart begins to tick frantically like an overwound clock, making my lips dry, my throat tighten, and my chest heave.
Say it.
Say it.
Just say you love him for, fuck’s sake!
“Finn,” I stutter, but the pad of his thumb begins to play with my lower lip, halting my words from spilling over.
I stare back into his bright blue eyes, unable to stop the love I feel for him emanate out from me. Just like the ink permanently tattooed on my skin, so is the love for him imprinted on my very soul. Its warm glow burns even brighter when I see a genuine smile begin to tug on his lips.
“Life is funny, Stone. Sometimes, it’s in the bleakest of situations that you find yourself. I had no idea I’d find the other half of my heart serving drinks in the world’s shittiest bar. But I did. I found you. And no matter what happens, I want you to know that everything I ever told you is real. I love you, Stone. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. Please remember that.”
“You sound like you’re going to be shipped off to war.”
His eyes crinkle at the sides as he continues to caress my face with all his tenderness.
“Some wars are fought right at home. Just promise me you’ll remember what I said.”
Even as confusing and cryptic as his statement is, I nod just the same, knowing it will settle his anguish. I’d do just about anything to keep his smile on his face at this point.
“Just one more kiss, then you’ve got to jump off my lap and get to class. Otherwise, I’m going to fuck you right in this car, and I don’t like the idea of having an audience,” he tries to joke, sounding more like the Finn I adore.
I look behind my shoulder to the dashboard and see that I still have fifteen minutes before my next class. It’s not ideal, but I guess it’ll have to do. I look around the parking lot and make sure we’re out of sight. At this hour, mostly everyone is already on campus, so I doubt we’ll have many peeping toms for what I have in mind. My fingers begin to travel down his chest, ever so slowly, until it reaches the hard shaft between his thighs.
“Stone,” he warns, not liking where my head is at.