The shame I expected to feel wasn’t there. While Mac had been the first and only man I’d ever had full-on sex with, I’d given head to more guys in my younger days than I cared to admit. Although I’d enjoyed the act, I’d hated when the men I’d been with had turned it into something ugly. Several had called me degrading names during the act, leaving me feeling humiliated and ashamed. It had taken a long time to not feel that same level of shame with Mac, so I couldn’t fathom why it wasn’t there with Matias even a little bit. I managed to answer his question with a nod.
Matias’s gaze was intense as he watched me take his entire length down my throat. I could no longer hold the tears back as my gag reflex kicked in, but I still fought to accept every inch of him. Matias held there for the briefest of moments, giving me all of him, before slowly pulling back. He stroked the tears on my cheek as he gave me a second to catch my breath, then he was pushing his pulsing cock into my mouth once more.
“Beautiful,” he whispered as he continued to use my mouth in the best way possible. The reflexive tears caused by the gagging turned into something else entirely as Matias thrust in and out of me over and over again, praising me all the while.
While Matias’s glides into my mouth were slow and smooth at first, it didn’t take long before he was increasing the pace. His fingers tightened in my hair as he threw his head back and began grunting. He was hot and heavy in my mouth and I did everything I could to make him come.
But before I could protest, Matias pulled his slick cock out of my mouth and yanked me upright. He kissed me hard before spinning me around and pushing me face-first down on the worktable. The rough treatment only heightened my need. As Matias yanked at my pants, I shoved my ass backwards in the hopes of feeling his hardness against me.
Matias growled as he shoved my jeans and underwear down. Then his big hands closed over my hips and he thrust his dick along the curve of my backside. His heavy weight pressed down on my back as he said, “Is this what you want, baby?”
The head of his dick slid between my crease and glided over my hole.
“Yes, please, yes! Matias!”
Matias’s fingers slid into my hair so he could turn my head and capture my mouth with his. “Who do you belong to?” he practically snarled as he began pumping his dick up and down the length of my crease. I desperately wanted to reach for my own cock to give it some relief, but Matias had me pinned in a way that I couldn’t even manage to get a hand between my body and the table. I was completely and totally reliant on him to get me off.
“Who?” Matias demanded.
“You!” I happily agreed. “I belong to you, Matias,” I cried out. “Please, Matias, I need you.”
Matias kissed me hard, then he reared back. Even as he straightened, he continued to rock his hips against my ass, keeping me on edge. I folded my arms so I could press my forehead against them instead of the rough surface of the table while I waited. I tried not to overthink things as I heard foil tearing behind me. But when Matias’s lube-slicked finger pressed against my hole, my nerves got the best of me. Despite my efforts to remain silent, because I really did want what was about to happen, I must have made some kind of sound because Matias stopped what he was doing.
“What?” he bit out.
I shook my head quickly as the desire I’d been feeling began to turn cold. “N-Nothing,” I blurted. “I’m-I’m fine.”
I did my best to calm myself, but when Matias didn’t move, a crushing wave of disappointment washed over me.
Crippling self-doubt followed.
I tried to reach down to pull my pants up as I murmured, “Maybe this wasn’t—”
Before I could finish the sentence, Matias’s arm wrapped around my chest from behind and then he was pulling me upright so my back was pressed to his front. He sealed his mouth over mine, swallowing the rest of my words. His kiss was all-consuming… demanding. His still-hard, condom-covered cock pressed against my ass and I could feel cold lube on my chest as Matias held me against him. By the time he released my mouth, I was squirming desperately against him and my dick was bouncing against the back of the hand Matias had pressed against my lower abdomen.
“I would never hurt you,” Matias growled against my mouth. He was angry.
Really angry.
But I also heard something else in his voice.
Hurt.
It made no sense, but I knew that was what it was. I shook my head. “No, that’s not why—”
“Then why?” Matias asked, his voice softening somewhat.
I reached up to cover the hand he had on my chest. I dropped my eyes to look at our fingers. His were thick and strong and calloused. His tattoos covered most of the back of his hand and he had numbers on his knuckles. Conversely, my hands were pale and smooth and delicate looking.
We were so different, yet when I ran my fingers over his, there was no missing the tremor that ran through his body… much like the one that always went through mine when he touched me.
“I don’t want to disappoint you,” I said softly as I continued to study our hands. “Mac was the only man I’ve ever had sex with.”
Matias kissed me deeply. When our mouths separated, he moved his to my ear and kissed the shell of it before whispering, “You won’t disappoint me. You can’t. Even if this is all we do…” He kissed me again but this time it was soft and sweet. “Not possible,” he said in that blunt way of his.
The soft kisses quickly turned hungry and desperate. I reached behind me to grab Matias’s naked hips as he began to rock against me once again. He chose that moment to close his hand around my cock, causing me to cry out into his mouth. I grunted and groaned as he both kissed me and fisted my dick. It took only minutes to have me squirming helplessly against him as the coil of need inside of me began to tighten more and more. Matias’s lubed dick was still notched between my ass cheeks, so I reached between us to search him out. He moaned into my mouth when I fisted him. I gave him a few pumps before guiding him to my hole.
“Have to get you ready,” he ground out against my mouth even as he pushed against my entrance.
“Want it like this,” I muttered. The sensation of his crown breaching me stole my breath, so I couldn’t tell him how much I’d always craved the burn of being penetrated without much prep.
Of course, that had been with Mac’s cock and he hadn’t been as thick or long as Matias.
His entry hurt like hell, but I held out for what I knew would follow. Thankfully, Matias didn’t linger as he worked his way past the outer ring of muscle trying to keep him out. When my body finally gave up the fight, I shouted in relief as Matias’s crown notched inside of me. The pain as my body struggled to accept the invasion quickly turned to something more.
Matias’s mouth searched out mine as he held himself in place to give me time to adjust to him. I reached up to wrap my hand around the back of his neck as we kissed. I didn’t need to tell Matias when to move again. He seemed to already know. It was a slow process of give and take, but when I felt his balls press against my ass, I wanted to shout for joy.
God, how I’d missed this exact moment. The warm body at my back, the soft lips at the nape of my neck, the thick flesh inside of me that made me feel just a little less empty.