I arched my back as he continued to tease. The action caused him to slip into me without warning. We both gasped. He pumped once. Twice. Then pulled out.
“Shit, sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to do that yet.”
“I don’t mind.” I reached down to touch myself. I was already so close.
He groaned as though in pain. He thrust one more time.
“Not like this.” He grabbed my wrist and brought my fingers to his mouth to suck on them. He hummed in pleasure as he did. “Turn around. I want to see your face when I make you come.”
I did as commanded. I was all about making choices in my life now. I was in command of who I was. But I’d be lying if I said being controlled by him wasn’t everything. He lifted me onto the desk, rolled on a condom, and slid back into me without another word.
We moaned as he dropped his forehead to mine. Our bodies thrust, mine matching his motion for motion.
His gaze held mine. “Come for me, Kim.”
“So. Close,” I panted.
He shifted and grabbed my thigh to lift it higher on his hip. Something about the angle worked. He pressed right where I needed him to. I came without warning, shocking us both.
I relaxed my fingernails from digging into his shoulders. I was wrong if I’d thought I would ever get enough of this man. This was only the beginning. Even now, as he pumped toward his own release, I felt myself reaching toward another peak. There was so much to do with him, so much to try and explore. Now that Pandora’s box had been opened, my curious mind was only too eager to explore the possibilities. He gripped both my knees and hefted them higher. I pressed back onto my palms to find balance. His muscles flexed and glinted with sweat as he rocked back and forth, picking up speed. He looked magnificent and took me over the edge a second time.
“Kim,” he called my name as he came. His head was thrown back, the tendons in his neck strained. Now that was an image I wanted rendered in marble.
It took a minute before he seemed to return to his body. His breaths eventually evened out as he lowered my legs gently and brought my upper body back to him. When he did, he cupped my face to drag a thumb over my bottom lip.
“That was amazing,” he said before kissing me deeply.
We broke the kiss but only to catch our breath.
His forehead was against mine. He seemed to like the connection it brought, and I liked looking into his eyes. I didn’t mind the sweat; if anything, it reminded me how freaking naughty this all was. He was still inside me and hard.
“You’re so sexy. I knew it’d be like this with you,” he said.
“You did?” I asked, clearly fishing.
“Yes. You’ve always been so full of curiosity and passion. It was all locked down inside you, but I knew it was there.”
“You’ve freed me,” I said holding his gaze and pouring all my love into it.
He kissed me so deeply that an aftershock shuttered through me. I clenched on him and he groaned. He broke the kiss and started to pull out. His gaze focused on where our bodies connected. I watched amazement come over his face, the high color in his cheeks, the sweat on his brow. This man was beautiful. Inside and out.
I gasped when he pushed back into me.
“Sorry. I just—”
He pumped two more times. Controlled but strained.
“Again?” I asked breathless.
His pace picked up. “I’ve waited so long.”
This time it was faster, dirtier, sweatier. I was slick. Our bodies were so slippery, I had to hold on tight as he used me and I used him in return. We both came again in seconds. This time when he finished, he pulled out right away.
“If I don’t get out now, I may never leave.” He threw the condom in the trash and grabbed a towel near a punching bag in the corner. I may have watched his amazing ass the whole time.
“There’re worse things in life.” I smiled at him.
“It makes walking tricky.”
“We’d figure it out.” I shrugged.
He came back to me and handed me the towel. “God, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
After we’d cleaned up and started putting on our clothes, I gestured to the large punching bag. “Hey, what’s with that?”
He followed my gaze as he did up the last button of his shirt. “Anger issues. I’ve been working on them for a while. Only recently I realized I was never really angry.”
“You were scared.” I finished for him.
He stepped back to me and grabbed my hands. “I was. I was always afraid to lose everything. But then I had a taste of what it really was to lose everything. When I pushed you out of my life—like I’d pushed away everything else of importance—my worst fears were realized. I was alone. I had nothing. You were with someone else.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I was so scared too.”
He nodded sadly. “It’s all the past now. The only thing that matters is this moment.”
“You’re right.” I grabbed his hands in mine. “Now that we both truly understand that, we won’t go back to a place where the past has so much power over us.”
“Thank you for coming back to me.”
“Thanks for risking your career to show me your love.” I put my head on his chest. His heart beat loudly against my ear.
“Not being with you almost killed me.”
I nodded against him. Then looked up into his eyes. “You brought Kim Dae back to life.”
Chapter 43
The Next April
KIM
“What are you doing?” Devlin asked from the doorway.
“Just going through some of these boxes. Deciding what to keep.” I sat back on my heels, where I’d been kneeling.
“Why do you sound sad?” He was at my side, pulling the shoebox out of my hand. He brushed back my hair to kiss my temple.
“I’m not sad. Sentimental, I guess. It’s my curse.” I sighed dramatically.
“I can’t believe you kept all these.” He flipped through the old notes with tender care.
“I couldn’t quite bring myself to get rid of them.”
“I like that about you. It makes me happy that they meant so much to you.” He held my gaze, a small furrow between his brows. “Want to hear a joke?”
“Always.”
“What did one musician say to the other?” he asked.
“What?”
“Nothing. He left a note.”
I snorted a laugh. “Terrible. I love it.”
He gently turned my face back to his. “Tell me why you’re sad.”
“I’m not sad.” I nestled into his hand. “I’m happier than I have ever been. It’s just hard not to think about the what-ifs. What if I’d sought out who sent the notes? What if you’d told me? Imagine if we’d met before I ever even met Roddy?”
His face hardened before relaxing into a sad smile. “It wasn’t our time.”
“I can’t believe he lied to me about sending them, and for so long. I can’t believe I trusted him.”
“Why would you have any reason not to trust him? There’s nothing wrong with trusting people you care about. It’s not your fault he turned out to be…”