It did make Drea feel a little better that all three of them felt like crap as well. She hadn’t meant to unload quite as much as she did this morning, but once she started she just couldn’t hold back anymore. She’d wanted to tell them to treat her like an adult for so long, but never was able to find a time to do it. Better late than never, she thought.
The jangle of his keys gave him away long before she could actually hear his footsteps approaching in the sand. By the time Miller sat down to her left, she’d blinked back the newest batch of tears and dried her face as much as she could. They both just sat there quietly for a long moment, before he finally broke the silence.
“The day you were born, as we were standing there holding you in the hospital, your Aunt Marta said to me, ‘we should have one.’ At first, I thought she was kidding,” he said, laughing. “You were the most perfect thing I had ever seen, Drea. The idea of Marta and I having one scared the shit out of me. I was sure that I would be a horrible, horrible father.”
“Why?” she asked, still looking out over the water.
“Because I had no idea what to do with a baby. But Marta was persistent and I couldn’t say no to that woman. Two days before the accident, she told me she thought she was pregnant, so I said that weekend we’d head into town to grab a test. Not a day has gone by that I don’t wish we had dropped everything to go get one right then. I know it wouldn’t have changed what happened with the stove that day, but at least I wouldn’t have spent the last twenty-five years wondering.”
“Uncle Miller, I had no idea.”
“No one does, baby girl. Not my brothers, not your grandparents when they were still alive. You are the first person I’ve ever told,” he paused, sniffing a bit. “But after everything happened, I knew that I had to figure out how to be a dad, to be your dad. I really had no idea what I was doing, but what I didn’t realize was that no one knew how to be a parent automatically. It’s a figure it out as you go kind of thing.”
“You did a great job, Uncle Miller.”
“Thank you, baby girl. Sometimes I look at you and am just in awe that I was the one to raise you to be this amazing young woman. You’re smart, caring, have a great head on your shoulders, and have an incredible sense of adventure. Just like your mother.” Drea laughed. “But other days, I think about all the mistakes I made and I think it’s a wonder that you turned out this good despite all the fuck-ups I had on my part. Like not telling you about your part in the resort.”
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me,” she said, finally looking over at her uncle.
“I had it in my head that if you knew, you would leave. The resort was our dream, and you just happened to be sucked into that by circumstance. I didn’t do a good enough job in knowing you to know that you felt like this place was your life too. So I thought that if I didn’t tell you that you’d just stay, because, well, obligation I guess.”
“Why would I want to leave?”
“It‘s that sense of adventure of yours, baby girl. I always knew there were big dreams in that head of yours. Dreams that I assumed meant you wanted more than our little resort,” he answered with a small shrug.
“Why didn’t you just ask?”
“Because it seemed like asking would have been a way to push you further into what I assumed was already a desire to run away,” he shrugged again. “I can’t really explain it, Drea, and I know it doesn’t make sense. But not much about how a parent loves their child ever does. And I know I’m not actually your dad, just the guy who raised you, and I don’t ever want to take anything away from Dave. But you will always be my child, baby girl.”
“You’re not just the guy who raised me. You are so much more than that. I hate that you felt that you couldn’t tell me. But at the same time, being lied to like that really, really hurts,” she admitted, holding back more tears.
“I know, and that’s on me. I’m so, so sorry, baby girl. It was so incredibly selfish. But you were all I had, Drea. After the accident, I felt like the only thing I had left in life was you. You became my reason for living. I know it sounds cliché, but you have been my everything ever since Vaughn walked out of his office holding you, still sound asleep, as the rest of the world shifted beneath my feet.”
“Uncle Miller,” Drea said, exhaling, reaching out for his hand. He took hers in his and squeezed.
“It’s a stupid excuse, I know. But as misguided as it was, it was because I love you. Can you forgive an old man?”
He reached an arm around her and gave her a hug. She let him hold her like that for a long moment before pulling away, fighting off tears yet again. She loved him so much, and knew that he really only ever did what he thought was best for her. It was impossible to stay mad at him for too long.
“I won’t lie,” she said, pulling away slightly. “It still hurts that you didn’t trust me with that information and I’m still pissed. But...but I get it. I get that you just didn’t want to lose me like you lost Aunt Marta and my parents. So, I guess you are forgiven.”
He wrapped his arm around her again, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. Into her hair he said, “Thank you, baby girl."
“I’m not so sure I’m ready to forgive the other two, though.”
“This is my apology. They are on the hook for their own,” he said, smiling a little. “Now, not to rub salt or anything, but I know I am not the only one who hurt you today, and if I were a betting man, I would wager that the pain I caused is nothing compared to what happened after you left the kitchen.”
Drea let out a sob, and crumpled into her uncle's arms. Part of her felt so stupid, crying to him like she was a little kid who fell off her bike. But at the same time, it was incredibly comforting to have him here.
“It’s okay, baby girl, let it out. Let it out…”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Grayson’s apology had come the next morning, by way of Leona. Miller had told her before he left her on the beach the evening before that he would send meals over so that she could do her own thing and take as long as she needed. He’d seen her sulk enough as a moody teenager to know exactly what she needed, and was more than prepared with the skills and ingredients to help her eat her feelings.
Dinner had shown up just as the sun was starting to set, hand delivered by Dalton, who also happened to be carrying a handle of rum, another of tequila, and two short tumbler glasses he’d obviously commandeered from the dining room. He didn’t speak at all as he laid out the food on the little table on her porch, and he continued to let them eat in silence. It wasn’t until after they had food in them that he’d grabbed the two handles, held up each one, and finally asked, “A or B?” She’d opted for the tequila, and they’d spent the night in silence, every now and again taking a shot.
The next morning, complete with what her Uncle Gray would have referred to as “a dehydration headache” rather than a hangover, she found Leona in her kitchen with a basket of magic muffins and Grayson’s go-to hangover cure—a bottle of Coke.