“Tell me about this training. Tell me what they forced you to do.”
I hold her more tightly, nuzzling into her neck and breathing her in as I prepare to tell her things I’ve told no one before. “Training was two-fold. Preparing us to take control of our family business and preparing us to be men of the elite. That involved a lot of physical tasks.” Acid crawls up my throat. “I lost my virginity at thirteen to an older woman who had been assigned as my sexual mentor at age twelve.”
Her jaw slackens. “What the what?”
“Sex has always been a purely physical act for me, and I’ve, ah, got certain tastes.”
“Like what?” Interest piques on her face.
“Bondage. Domination and other kinks.” I don’t want to scare her off by revealing the true extent of my depraved sexual fantasies—especially the ones involving her.
“You say that like it’ll send me running away screaming.”
“I doubt you’re used to the kind of sex I crave.”
She repositions herself on my lap until she’s straddling me. She tilts my chin up. “I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I’m closed off. I’m open to exploring my sexuality with you, and maybe, you could be open to exploring intimacy with me?”
God, she’s sweet but so misguided. “I don’t know how else to be.” I brush my fingers across her cheek. “I want to experience intimacy with you, but I’m not sure I know how.”
“We’ll figure it out together. None of that is a deal breaker, so what else do I need to know?”
“I’ve killed people, Demi. Never by choice and not always out of necessity. The elite live by their own set of rules, and there were times when we were instructed to kill for no reason but to prove they could control us and freely take lives.”
Shock splays across her face as she stares at me.
I go on, needing to purge this. “Some of the initiation rituals were violent and brutal, and it was a kill or be killed scenario. I made my first kill at fourteen, and I had nightmares for months after. Sometimes, when I close my eyes at night, I still see his face.” I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. “The things I’ve done haunt me.”
“That proves you’re a good person.”
“I’ve just admitted I like to hurt women during sex, and I’ve killed people, and you think I’m a good person?!” I snap, more angry at myself than her.
She grabs my face firmly, staring deep into my eyes. “Don’t act dumb. You know what I’m saying and why I’m saying it. If you were a cold-blooded pervert killer, you’d feel no guilt, no remorse, and show no desire to change.” She runs her finger along my lower lip. “I’m not going to lie. I’m shocked and sickened, but I also understand you were a kid, and they forced you to do things no kid should ever have to do.” Tears pool in her eyes. “Don’t you see how strong you are to have survived that? And you still know what’s right from wrong. That speaks volumes, Charlie.”
“I’ve stood by and watched the elite abuse kidnapped kids. I’ve seen those poor innocents drugged to their eyeballs and then callously disposed of when they were no longer of any use. I’ve watched elite members pass their wives around like they’re candy. I’ve turned a blind eye when those women cried out in pain and shame. I’ve ignored the criminal activities driven by morally corrupt men with a single-minded thirst for power.”
“You were a kid, Charlie.” She grips my chin in her soft hands. “You probably had PTSD. And it’s not like you could’ve done anything to stop it. You were a kid, and they were powerful men with no moral compass. If you’d tried to help, they would have killed you.”
She’s grasping this more easily than I expected, and I don’t think I’ve given her enough credit even though she has proven her inner strength to me over and over. “I haven’t been a kid for a long time, Demi.” I swallow a knot in my throat.
“That saddens me,” she says. “I had no idea you existed in such a dark world. No idea those kinds of things were going on so close to home.”
“If you hadn’t met me, you still wouldn’t know.”
“Living in blissful ignorance is no way to live,” she says. “And I happen to be pretty fond of your grumpy ass, so I’ll take the trade-off.”
I take her wrists in my hands, rubbing my thumbs back and forth across her velvety-soft skin. “Why are you still here? Why aren’t you disgusted with me? Why aren’t you leaving?”
She rests her forehead against mine. “You told me before that you see me. Well, I see you too, Charlie, and I like what I see.” She eases back. “Unless you tell me you enjoy all the things you’ve done and seen, I’m going nowhere.”
“I’m sickened by everything I’ve done and seen, and I want to put an end to it all. Not just for me but for my friends and future generations. The elite has got to be stopped once and for all.”
“That’s what the discussion was about at the table.”
I nod. “We hoped we’d put an end to it before, but we should’ve known the elite would not go quietly. Now, they are more determined than ever. But so are we.” Resolve flows through me. “We won’t stop until their reign is ended.”
The next few weeks pass by in a blur of activity. Work is busy because I’m project-managing the new regulatory system implementation and spearheading a new workplace culture initiative. Unfortunately, it means working closely with Corrinna Smith, our chief human relations officer. Her constant flirting is a major pain in my ass, so I purposely out my relationship with Demi at the same time I announce we are terminating the no-fraternization policy.
Corrinna didn’t take kindly to it, and now, I’m persona non grata.
Win-win for me.
Demi and I have been dating up a storm, and the more I’m with her, the more I fall deeper in love. I still haven’t told her yet, or taken her to my bed, because I’m trying to rein things in. We’ve been making out like demons, and we’ve gone down on each other, a lot, but it hasn’t progressed any further, because I haven’t let it.
But I’m all out of patience, and I think Demi is too, so tonight is the night.
I light the candles resting atop the table in the kitchen just as the doorbell chimes. Butterflies swoop into my stomach as I race to the front door, eager to hold my girl in my arms.
“Hey, babe.” I reel her in flush to my body, and her bag drops to the ground, as I dip her down low and plant a slow, passionate kiss on her lips.
“Wow. That’s some greeting,” she teases when we finally come up for air.
“I missed you.” I scoop up her bag and deposit it in the hall. Closing the door, I take her hand, leading her toward the kitchen.
“You saw me at work today,” she says, beaming at me.
“That was hours ago.” I grip her hips, pushing her into the wall as we step into the kitchen. “And every second we’re apart, my heart hurts.” I press an openmouthed kiss to the underside of her jaw, delighting when she shivers.
“That was very romantic,” she pants, thrusting her chest into mine.