“We both see a future where we’re saving a world.”
He busts up laughing. “If only we lived in a fantasy, we’d live happily ever after. You and me.”
“And the beavers,” I say.
It’s a silly joke, but beneath it, I feel a tug of longing. As if I’m missing something, even though I know it isn’t real. There are no beavers. Only deadly reptiles.
Anthony’s muscles bunch and flex as he slides his hands in his pockets. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.” I shake off my odd thoughts. “Your arms,” I add for something to say. “I like them.”
His slow smile erases the sadness. “They like you, too.”
“I’m objectifying you, Anthony. You should be insulted.”
“I am. Do it some more.”
Lord, I would like to kiss him right now. Instead, I check my watch. “We should get back.”
He slides his phone from his back pocket and checks the time, too. “Yep. Library closes soon. Wouldn’t want to make your parents suspicious.”
We walk back through the zoo, the lighted path leading us toward the exit. Each step puts more distance between me and the Reptile House, and the strange part is I wish we could have stayed longer.
We’re quiet on the drive back. I’m not sure what to think about tonight. Except that I know I will think about it. About him. But not like I expected.
He slides his car into the spot next to mine but leaves the engine running. That’s good. Anthony and me and long good-byes are never a good thing. I unsnap my seat belt as he turns to me. “So did you have a terrible time?”
He’s so perfect with his wavy hair and flashing eyes and the way his arm drapes over the steering wheel like some movie star from the fifties. If this were the spring, we’d be kissing across the console right now. My heart leaps.
My heart is so untrustworthy.
“The snakes were terrible,” I say, answering his question. “But you were a little too nice about the whole thing. Having good intentions and all that.”
“Yeah, that was a mistake.” He shakes his head wryly, hiding a smile. “Should I say something annoying now just to even things up?”
I brighten. “Would you? That would be excellent.” I face him. “Make it good. I mean, bad. I mean.” I shrug. “You know what I mean.”
He thinks for a second. One of his slow smiles lifts the corner of his mouth. “I don’t want to have an address.”
“What?”
“I want to have a PO Box, not a real address, because I move around so much.”
My eyes go wide at the thought. “I would hate that. I could never live that way. No address?”
“Not all who wander are lost,” he says with a shrug.
“I’ve never liked that saying.” I lay my hands over my heart dramatically, but I really am relieved. “All good feelings are now gone. Thank you.”
His smile turns into a grin. “Any time.”
I reach for the door handle. “It’s my turn tomorrow night.”
“I’ll be dreading it,” he says.
“You should be.” I close the door behind me and walk back to my car. I have to force the smile from my face and the uncomfortable realization that tonight wasn’t nearly as horrible as it should have been.
Chapter Sixteen
Anthony
We start out this morning with trash bags, a few trash-grabber tools, and a wheelbarrow that’s filled with the branches we cut yesterday along with a sealed bucket. When Mallory asks what’s in it, Amber gives her a mysterious smile and tells her she’ll find out at the top of the trail.
Mai and I exchange looks while we’re pretending not to look at each other. I’m keeping my distance, but it doesn’t matter. She’s in my head. I can’t stop thinking about last night. I shouldn’t have had such a good time.
I distract myself by taking charge of the wheelbarrow. It’s heavy, and I’ve got to muscle it up over boulders. I always hated running during baseball practice, but I like hiking. There’s no one holding a clock and telling you to go faster. And there’s nothing to look ahead to except the next step.
Up at the top, Amber gives us a few minutes to walk the clearing and check for spur trails. I wipe sweat off my forehead with the edge of my tee and take a drink from my water vest. I packed it with ice this morning, and already the water is lukewarm. I see why Community Cares scheduled this project right after the end of school. The early mornings are hot in May, but in another month, they’ll be scorching.
In less than two weeks, I’ll be watching the sun rise over the mountains up north. After that, I’ll be somewhere along the west coast. I hiked most of the way with Amber, and it was hard going with the wheelbarrow, so I let her do the talking. She spent a summer in Oregon and told me about some of the biking trails Dad had highlighted. I want to get home and check his maps against the places she mentioned.
Mai hiked with Grant. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. Grant, or someone like him, is Mai’s real-world guy. College boy. Suit and tie guy. Parent approved. After last night, I get why that matters so much to her. She doesn’t want to disappoint her parents. I’m sure that’s why I never met them in the spring. Why I’m a secret now.
Mai is circling the open area, her shoulders hunched by her ears, her arms folded across her chest. Is she worrying about snakes? Or something else? Does Grant even notice? He’s babbling to her about something.
“You can see there are a lot of trails branching out from here,” Amber says, calling out, since we’ve spread ourselves along the ridge. “Most of these have been created by hikers and bikers, but the ones heading north and south are official park trails. We’re going to block the spur trails today, try and encourage people to use these others.”
“What’s that trail down there?” Grant points over the side of the mountain. I take a few steps forward and see what he means. There’s an obvious trail down at the base, winding around the mountain we’ve just climbed.
“That’s a city trail that leads to the visitor’s center. If you ever got stuck up here and you had to get down another way, you could head for that.”
“Where does it start?” Grant asks.
“Right where you’re looking.” Amber takes a few steps down a narrow path. “Hikers call this the rock hop because there are ledges of rock you climb down to pick up the trail. It’s like that most of the way. Trail, rocks, more trail.”