I laugh. “You’re not going to throw a sock at me, are you?”
“I’m hoping to get to the point where I want to.” His eyes soften. “Right now, I still find your narrow-minded logic and slavish devotion to rules charming.”
“Ah, more poetry.”
Our eyes meet, both of us smiling. He reaches a hand toward my face. He stops himself, pulls back as he remembers this isn’t the spring when he’d slide his hand across my cheek before he pulled me in close for a kiss. My cheek tingles as if I can feel the almost-touch.
The never-going-to-happen-again touch.
I reach for the door handle. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
My cheek is still tingling as I head toward the library.
Chapter Nineteen
Mai
I don’t see him in the morning.
There’s a leak in the main visitor’s center. Somehow, Anthony got involved, and apparently, he has mad skills. He was still working when I left. It wasn’t as if I had an excuse to walk in. I could pretend to have a question about tonight, but we do that by text. Asking him in public would break Rule 4. I still almost went in to see him.
Softly, I trail a finger over my burn mark. Thankfully, it’s faded enough this morning that Mom and Dad didn’t notice. I keep thinking about it. How if I’d burned myself with Mom and Dad, there would have been cold water and careful attention, but also they would have been upset. Concerned. Maybe even disappointed. Bad things weren’t supposed to happen. When they did, you felt bad that they had. With Anthony, bad things happened, and he dealt with it. With a smile. Somehow, last night, he had made me smile, too. With Anthony, there was no pressure to be perfect. But he had a way of looking at me that made me feel like I was.
“Beautiful.”
Yes.
Then I startle, realizing it’s Mom talking and she doesn’t mean Anthony. Who removed my brain, and where did they put it? She’s talking about the shoes I’m trying on. I’m suddenly back in the department store dressing room with piped-in music, bright lights, and Mom. “They are beautiful,” I agree. “I really like them.”
She stands behind me in the full-length mirror. She’s nodding, but there’s a frown creasing her forehead.
“What?” I turn to the side, admiring the black-heeled shoes, the velvet bow on the heel that’s sort of glam but in a subtle way.
“I’m just not sure. They are beautiful, but they’re very high. You don’t usually wear high heels.”
“They work with the dress, though.” I changed into the dress so we could be sure. I pull up the hem, pointing out how perfect the length is. Mom found the dress in a shop in Scottsdale. A straight-line silhouette, high-necked, glossy black, with tiny shoulder straps and a smooth fall to the floor. It’s a little old-fashioned, but I like it.
I swish the skirt, wondering what Anthony would think. Knowing what Anthony would think. He’d want to break Rule 5, and I’d want to let him. Just like last night.
I wish I could ask Josie about it. If it’s like this with her and Garrett. If she’s ever just talking to him and wants to grab him and kiss him. I want to know if this is normal. And if you feel this way to start, when does it fade? I mean, it has to fade or how would you ever get anything done? Plus, I only have seven days left before the fling will have flung.
“Mai, are you listening?”
“Sorry.” I reel in my wandering thoughts.
“Let’s try these other ones.”
She taps the box I’m trying to ignore. They remind me of the shoes our principal wore to graduation. “The heels are clunky on those.”
“Just try them on. To compare.”
She watches as I slip on the shoes and do up the buckles. “What do you think?”
I stand and shift on my feet. “They’re comfortable.”
“And not too high.” She smiles. “Do you like them?”
I take a look in the mirror, studying them from the side. They’re fine. But I don’t want fine. “I like the other ones more.”
“Well. Walk around a little.”
I walk to the far end of the dressing room.
“You know who you should ask to join us for the dinner?” Mom says this as if she’s just had the idea. “Grant.”
I turn on the chunky heels and head back. “He doesn’t want to come to the dinner.”
“He might. You should ask him.”
“I’m not going to ask him.”
“I don’t see why not.”
I stop in front of her. “Because it isn’t like that.”
“It isn’t like what, Mai?” she says as if I’m not being reasonable. “It’s a charity dinner. The whole family is going.”
“Then why don’t you or Dad ask Grant?”
“Well.” She pauses and then lets out a soft laugh. “Fine. You’re right, honey. It’s just that his mother is so worried about Grant since he broke up with Katherine. She thought it would be nice to distract him.”
“I’m the distraction?”
“The dinner is the distraction.” She smiles when I roll my eyes. “Think about it. That’s all.” She looks down at my feet again. “What about the shoes?”
“I like the other ones.”
“They’re your shoes. It’s your choice.” She rubs a finger under her chin. “I just want to be sure you think it through. We are on carpet here.”
“There’s carpet in the ballroom.”
“Yes, but there’s also that flight of stairs leading to the stage. What if you wobble on the stairs? Can you imagine? Tripping in front of everyone? The governor is going to be there, and you know his wife won’t be wearing tall heels.”
I let the hem slip to the floor. “They’re not that high.”
“That’s true.”
I feel the air leave my lungs. But they are higher than the other ones. And if I insist on these and then I trip? I stare at myself in the mirror. They’re mostly hidden under the gown.
As if Mom can read my thoughts, she says, “It’s not as if anyone will see the shoes beneath your dress anyway.”
“Okay, we’ll go with these.”
“Are you sure?” Mom asks. “I want you to be happy with them.”
“I’m sure.”