“That’s not something I want to talk about with you. Goodnight.” Bailey’s words were sharp and curt as he turned his back and took the stairs two at a time to escape the whirlwind of emotion Maxx had stirred up.
His first instinct was to go to Travis’s room, but how would it look if he barged in and vented all his anger? Unable to stomach the thought, he escaped into his own room and closed the door behind him, locking it. He needed to deal with it first, or at least get to a mental space where he wasn’t so angry. The last thing he wanted to do was dump it on Travis, who had his own problems.
Seeing Maxx again had ripped off the Band-Aid he’d slapped over the wound of everything that had gone wrong only a few years before.
He paced back and forth, his steps light but quick to match the speed of his racing thoughts. In a small town such as Holdengate, Bailey’s dating options had always been limited. So it made some kind of sense that he’d ended up in a serious relationship with the only other out gay person in the whole damned town.
Both artists, they’d actually had a lot in common, though in two totally different fields. Maxx was a painter, determined to move to L.A. and open his own art studio, whereas Bailey wanted to play music. Immediately, they’d hit it off and become close friends, finding much more in each other besides their sexuality. As close friends, they confided everything with one another… even the sexual assault Maxx’s uncle had inflicted on him at a young age. From then, Bailey had insisted that Maxx stay with them, since his parents refused to believe him. Eventually their relationship had turned physical. Things had only escalated from that point until, in Bailey’s mind, he couldn’t even consider an avenue where him and Maxx weren’t together. It was just how things were and always would be. He had assumed Maxx felt the same way, especially since they’d basically planned their entire lives together. They really were serious about moving to L.A. together, braving the big scary city together.
But then Bailey’s dad died, and to cope he’d thrown himself into working at the inn, taking over most of the things his father had handled, and even some of what his mom did. He hadn’t been able to focus on anything other than the work in order to cope.
Pulling himself from his thoughts, he came to a halt, boots squeaking against the hardwood in protest.
Looking back, he guessed with everything that had been going on, he had shut Maxx out at first. There was so much hurt and pain left in place of his dad, he just hadn’t known how to cope with it. He didn’t know how to lean on someone to ease him through that pain, not even his best friend.
Bailey shook his head. Maxx hadn’t even given him a full month before he took off. Bailey had to find out he was gone from his mom when he’d announced he was going to visit Maxx at home. But Maxx hadn’t been at home, he hadn’t even been in the same town anymore.
Bailey sat on the end of his bed and scrubbed a hand over his face, pushing thoughts of the past to the side. The present was what was the most important. Seeing Maxx again had stirred up anger, sure, and bitterness from the shitty way things had ended. But seeing Maxx hadn’t stirred up anything… else. He didn’t want to run his hands through that ever-colored hair anymore, nor did he feel the urge to kiss him. He remembered all those things, sure, but when he recalled them, it was like looking down on a stranger repeating those actions. He couldn’t see himself as he was now doing those things with Maxx.
The realization comforted him. When he looked at Maxx, he wasn’t overcome with butterflies or giddiness like he remembered from before.
His thoughts shifted to Travis, the way he’d felt on their date tonight just holding his fucking hand. His stomach tightened at the memory, and he grinned to himself in the dim light of his room.
Mind made up, he stood and left his room, steps quiet despite the hardwood floor.
By the time he made it to Travis’s door at the end of the hallway, doubt had crept in and he paused with his fist lifted to the heavy wood. What if he was asleep?
Just as the thought crossed his mind, he heard his guitar strum through the door. He knocked softly.
The music paused for a long moment, and his stomach dropped before he heard the scuff of footsteps on the other side.
The door swung open and he braced himself for the worst, but Travis didn’t tell him to fuck off or instantly slam the door in his face. Instead, he stepped back and motioned for him to come inside, but the emotionless mask on his face sent worry piercing through him. He hated that he’d ended their date by having to deal with his ex, but Bailey would explain everything and make him understand.
“Thanks for letting me deal with that,” Bailey started.
Travis hummed and sat on the bed, his back against the headboard. His piercing blue eyes shot up to capture Bailey, and he swallowed nervously.
“I wanted to explain,” he offered.
Travis patted the bed beside him and sat his guitar on the floor to lean it against the side of the bed. The thump of his boots as he kicked them off was loud in the room, Travis’s stare both empty and all-knowing at the same time.
After he crawled across the bed and sat close, his arm brushing Travis’s, he paused and suddenly didn’t know where to start.
“You really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to—it’s none of my business.”
Bailey shook his head before Travis even finished speaking. “It is. Because even if we are just living in the moment,” Bailey motioned to the space between them, or the lack thereof, “we’re doing it together, and you deserve to know about it anyway.”
Travis sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly before nodding. “Alright, shoot.”
Stomach knotted with nerves, Bailey glanced down at his hands and wiped them off on his jeans. And then he began at the beginning, telling Travis everything. From the way his and Maxx’s friendship delved into a relationship, to the way they’d become each other’s entire worlds, hardly existing outside of each other. However, he left out the sexual assault because that wasn’t his story to tell.
“We’d planned to move to L.A. together to pursue the big city life and follow our dreams. But then my dad died and Maxx left out of the blue and—”
“Wait, he just left?” Travis interrupted.
“Yeah. Once Dad died, I threw myself into everything involving the inn, taking over his responsibilities and some of Mom’s too.” He frowned as he stared at nothing, continuing to speak. “I guess I kind of pushed him away in the end there, but the reason I was so upset to see him just now is because he didn’t say goodbye or anything. I had to find out from my mom that he’d left.” Waving a hand through the air, he continued, “But anyways… yeah, he broke my heart and totally ruined my trust in anyone, and it took me a long time to realize that not everyone’s the same way. I had to come to terms with my dad’s death and Maxx’s absence and finding out who the hell I was outside of a relationship that I’d been in for half my life. It’s shitty that he decided to come back out of the blue. It just fucked with my head for a minute, that’s all. I’m sorry I basically banished you to your room, I didn’t mean to send you away.” Bailey’s cheeks flushed at the memory of telling Travis to go upstairs. He couldn’t just dismiss him like that.