‘I’m not sure a day walking between the musty smells and woodworm would get me in the mood,’ he said. ‘I was kind of hoping we could just hole up here. You know, one of those blissful weekends we used to have where we spent at least ninety per cent of our time in bed and only ventured out for food, or drink?’
Remembering what Jess had said about Ant being a clean freak, she softened, but just a little. ‘I know, but things are different now. We’ve had that conversation, Ant,’ she said. ‘How about we drive up together. You relax in the hotel and I’ll do the market myself, meet you in the hotel afterwards? We can get room service if you want?’
It was less than ideal, but she was trying to compromise, even though she was pulled that he didn’t want to help her look for the furniture she needed. It seemed very much like the only thing he was really interested in was getting her into bed, and keeping her there.
‘It’s not the same. And, sure, what would I do with myself for an afternoon in Belfast? I’d be bored stupid,’ he said, and Libby heard a hint of spoiled brattishness in his voice.
‘Ant,’ she said, after she had taken a deep breath, ‘you know I have my deadline for the shop – and that it’s going to be intense. You’ve known that all along. This market is only held every few months. I need to go to it. I need to be free at the weekends for the next while at the very least. I don’t have time to spend a weekend doing nothing.’
‘It’s not doing nothing,’ he said. ‘It’s doing me!’ He flashed her his best smile – the smile that normally made her feel funny inside. Now, it just made her cross.
She put her fork down. It was safe to say her appetite had all but disappeared.
‘Doing you,’ she said calmly, ‘no matter how much fun – is not going to get the shop open.’
‘But I helped. I sent you some heavy lifters? Surely that has given you a day or two in credit? A day you could devote to us?’
‘Didn’t I break our not during the week rule and drive down here tonight – just to see you?’
‘It’s not the same.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, but if she was honest, she wasn’t really sorry at all.
‘I get that this means a lot to you. An awful lot – but it feels as if I don’t mean anything to you at all at the moment,’ he said.
‘You’re being silly,’ she said, wrong-footed by his sudden neediness. It wasn’t his form – not at all. They weren’t a needy couple. If anything, their relationship still had a sort of casual feel to it, which had suited them both just fine. Or so Libby had thought.
‘Ant,’ she said, ‘since we started talking about this shop, we knew it was going to take most of my time. That was always a given. You can’t keep making me feel bad about it.’
Her tone was probably a little harsher than she intended, but Libby was trying – really trying – not to be disappointed in him. Disappointed that it seemed as if all his big talk of the last few months, all his encouragement that she was doing the right thing, was not what she actually thought it to be. It had existed only when the idea of how it would eat into their time together was abstract – simply a notion. Once reality had hit, Ant had very quickly become nothing more than a child, annoyed that his access to his favourite toy was being rationed.
‘I’m not trying to make you feel bad about it,’ he replied.
‘So you will come with me, to Belfast, on Saturday and we’ll have a nice time?’
He shook his head. ‘If I’m not going to get you to myself, I might as well stay here and get some work done. You know vintage isn’t my style – and musty old markets even less so. Why not ask Jess? Get some bonding time in? Seems the only person you see less than me is her.’
So now he was not only having a go at her for how little time she spent with him – but also with Jess? The afterglow of their lovemaking was now well and truly gone.
‘Look,’ Libby said, ‘I didn’t come here to fight or justify myself. We’ve been having a lovely evening. God, not that long ago, we were having the best evening! Maybe just think about Belfast for a bit?’ she asked him, and he nodded, but they limped through another half hour of stilted conversation before the sun started to drop in the garden and Libby felt a shiver run through her that was from more than the cold. ‘I’d better be getting back,’ she said, faux smile on her face.
‘I suppose you have an early start in the morning?’
‘I do. The glazer is coming to look at the windows, see what can be salvaged. He’ll be there first thing.’
Ant nodded but didn’t say anything.
Awkwardly, Libby kissed him on the cheek, lifted her keys and told him they would talk later in the week. ‘Think about the weekend,’ she said. ‘It could be fun. Different, but still fun.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ he said as she climbed into the front seat of her car, switched on the engine and was temporarily deafened by the loudness of the radio. Turning it down, she nodded in Ant’s direction and drove off – not quite sure what to think any more.
10
Love Story
Libby Quinn had been blissfully single – well, perhaps not blissfully, but single all the same – when on a night out with Jess, she bumped into the proverbial (and actual) tall, dark and handsome stranger at the bar. From the moment he looked down at her, his eyes hungry, he made her feel delicate, dainty and utterly edible. She was powerless to resist him. And by the time Ant whisked her back to his house in a taxi later that night, unable to keep his hands off her, she didn’t want to.
This was the electricity charge people spoke of. The air around them fizzed and crackled and Libby had never felt anything like it before and she gave in to it.
They fell into a pattern – a relationship based on great sex, a good laugh at times and minimum commitment, which suited Libby completely. She wanted to concentrate on getting her new life up and running and she had neither the physical nor emotional energy for anything more.
Libby had wondered if she should feel more for Ant – knowing that on paper he was the perfect match. Handsome. Self-sufficient. With a house by the sea, a good and secure job, the ability to make her weak at the knees. But she didn’t feel more for him – she cared for him, she liked having him in her life, but she didn’t love him. He didn’t love her either – not in the way people thought she should be loved. She liked how he made her feel like the sexiest woman alive and for a long time that was enough. It was more than enough. They had a comfortable arrangement where each got what they needed from the other and had fun in the process. That was exactly why it worked – and it suited them both. Not that Libby had ever, ever in her life imagined she would find herself in a friends-with-benefits kind of a relationship.
So this new, possessive side of Ant surprised her a little and she couldn’t really understand where it was coming from or why things had to change. Why did he have to make her feel guilty about work? She never ever made him feel guilty if he had to travel for his job, or work extra hours, or if he had to cancel one of their ‘sacred’ weekends at the last minute.