“You shush, Josie Bordelon, and listen to this child. Imagine if you had had half an inkling to call me and tell me what your twenty-one-year-old brain was thinkin’ before you marched into that college office and dropped out of NYU tryin’ to cash in on a modeling career.”
“If I had called and told you my plan you would have ripped me in two like an old rag.”
“You got that right, but I woulda listened to you first before I’d gone and done it. Etta baby, go ahead, you say your piece. Tell your mama what you’re thinkin’. And then let’s get back to dinner. God help you two if my fish goes cold.” There’s no greater offense in Aunt Viv’s world than when people around her dinner table allow her food to go cold.
Etta takes a deep breath and sets a steely stare on me. “MOM.”
“Before you go down this road, remember: I gave you life. And save that white girl Mom talk for your friends. I’m your mama and don’t you forget it.”
“Seriously, Mama?!?!?!” Etta whines, too easily thrown off her game in my humble opinion. The kid needs to toughen up before she flies the nest. She wouldn’t survive a day in New York.
“Alright, alright. Tell me what you’re thinking, I promise to have an open mind.” Under the table I cross my fingers.
“I want to apply to Juilliard.”
“Juilliard? Juilliard, Juilliard? Like in New York City, Juilliard? Like where students dance or sing or strum a guitar and hope they can audition for an understudy role in an off-off-Broadway production that pays literally nothin’?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” Etta confirms, twisting her napkin around her index finger, not meeting my eyes.
“Etta, my fondest memories of you as a child will always be you on stage, your grace, your beauty, and yes, your talent. But, OVER MY DEAD BODY will you be going to a four-year university, if Juilliard is even considered a university, to focus on dance when I have been paying thirteen years of tuition for you to get a first-class education. That is not part of the Bordelon family plan.” I’m feeling ambushed by my family. How long has Aunt Viv known and whose idea was it? And how far down this road have they gone?
“Discounted tuition,” Etta shoots back. Oh no she did not! I grip the edge of the table to hold myself back from yanking Etta out of her chair and tossing her into her room.
“Your dead body,” Aunt Viv considers, passing the collard greens. “That can be arranged. Now eat, you two. Y’all are acting a fool at my dinner table and this conversation ain’t goin’ nowhere good tonight.”
“This conversation ain’t going nowhere ever,” I mumble under my breath.
“I heard you,” Etta says, not looking up from putting vinegar on her greens.
Good, I think to myself.
FIVE
FROM: Randy Chavez
DATE: October 3, 2018
SUBJECT: School Tour
TO: Josephine Bordelon
Dear Ms. Josephine,
Mrs. Lawton told me I had to write you a thank-you e-mail after the tour, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. Mrs. Lawton hired me last year because she was worried about her husband’s safety and said all the big men in Silicon Valley have bodyguards so her husband needed one, too. I thought I would be driving Mr. Lawton around, making sure no one gets close to him, getting him a sandwich from Subway, and maybe keeping my mouth shut, you know, if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend or something. In my line of work you don’t judge. I really didn’t know that by bodyguard Mrs. Lawton meant a dressed-up babysitter for her kid.
So anyway, the school tour was pretty good, not as boring as I thought it would be. I’m thinking of quitting my job, though. I’m not going back to school; I hated it the first time around. Either way, maybe sometime you would like to go out and grab a beer?
Randy
Did I just get asked out on a date by an applicant’s disgruntled staff member? Lola’s going to love this one. I always send her my best e-mails knowing these little gems make her day. If she actually suggests I go on a date with Randy, though, I’ll have to punch her face. Next e-mail.
FROM: Meredith Lawton
DATE: October 3, 2018
SUBJECT: Fairchild School Tour
TO: Josephine Bordelon
Josephine,
I always thought Fairchild would be the perfect school for Harrison, but once I saw the Ingenuity Lab I knew we had made the right choice! Harrison is going to die when he gets his hands on those tools. You do make the children wear hazmat suits when working with power tools right? We don’t want anything to happen to Harrison’s fingers, his piano teacher would be devastated.
Beatrice Pembrook agrees that Fairchild is the absolute best place for Harrison. Has she talked with you yet? I know it’s on her to do list, but she’s hosting a dinner for 500 this weekend to raise money for the India Basin/Hunter’s Point redevelopment project so her life is insane. It was a wonder she was able to carve out time for lunch with me yesterday. I guess that’s what the closest of friends do for one another though, am I right?
Randy, our bodyguard, should be writing you a thank-you e-mail as well. He shared with me that he could really see himself attending Fairchild alongside Harrison which makes me rest easy when I think about Harrison going off to big-boy school. There are so many crazy people in the world these days, the idea of someone coming after a high-profile child like Harrison is downright terrifying. I’m sure you can understand how having Randy there to protect him will really put Christopher and me at ease. And I know Randy is keen to stay with our family until Harrison is through middle school and has earned his black belt. Randy is beyond committed to our family, I feel so blessed. And don’t worry; Christopher will be at the parent interview, he’s devastated he couldn’t make the tour, truly. Harrison’s education is of utmost importance to him.
Off to see my meditation guru. I have upped my sessions with her to three times a week to get me through admissions season. I want to make sure in the midst of this crazy time I maintain being a centered mother and wife. It’s so important to prioritize self-care particularly during trying times, don’t you think?
Namaste,
Meredith Lawton
Oh, where to begin. How about the fact that Meredith Lawton thinks her child is already in Fairchild? And though I suspect he is not going to last through the month, are the Lawtons willing to pay double tuition for Randy? I need to let this one sink in before I decide whether it deserves a response.
Time to read one last quick e-mail before meeting with Roan.
FROM: Ty Golden
DATE: October 3, 2018