As soon as I heard the click of the door, I lowered my head, keeping my eyes on the ground. Oddly enough, one of my first thoughts, other than what was to come, was how clean the carpet looked and felt against my feet. It was weird what the human brain concocted when in survival mode.
The shouting from moments before was a noise I was unfortunately used to, but what I wasn’t familiar with was the unnerving silence surrounding me right now.
Lincoln stood ten feet from me, the heat of his stare burning through me.
The click of the door sounded again, but this time it was louder, Lincoln having shut the door with more aggression.
“What are you doin’?”
“What I’m supposed to,” I answered softly, hoping he heard me because I didn’t wish to repeat the words.
“What do you mean?” He moved closer. “Look at me.” Shaking my head, I refused. “Maddie.” He said my name softer this time, and there was something laced in his tone that made me raise my head. Up… up… until I met his soul-searching eyes.
“What do you mean you’re doin’ what you’re supposed to?” He studied me, but he wouldn’t find any answers plastered on my face. I’d learned how to hide my emotions behind a mask. It was the only way I survived as long as I had.
“I’m thanking you for helping me.” I’d often had to thank Griller and his friends for the simplest of things, such as being allowed to use the bathroom, or for the necessary act of eating. It was their way of controlling me, demeaning me, and because I couldn’t fight back physically, I surrendered emotionally.
“What exactly are you offerin’?”
“Me.”
Realization dawned, and he nodded slowly before his gaze perused my body. I kept my stare straight ahead, but seconds later, he was gone from in front of me, reappearing with the T-shirt in his hand, shoving it at me before he gave me his back.
“Put it on.”
I scrambled to pull the fabric over my head, the hemline falling less than an inch below my knees. A soft noise erupted from my throat, and that’s the moment he turned to face me again, looking over me from head to toe, his expression flat and unreadable.
“I’m sorry you don’t find me desirable,” I mumbled, a tear drifting down my cheek. None of the other guys had told me to cover up before. In fact, there’d been a time when I wasn’t allowed to wear any clothes at all, nothing to shield me from their lecherous stares, invasive groping, and worse.
“Is that what you think?”
I gave him a curt nod, another tear falling down my face.
He reached for my hand and pulled me toward the bed, motioning for me to take a seat on the edge. The mattress dipped with his weight when he sat next to me.
“I find you very desirable.”
My head shot up. “You do?” I didn’t know why I sounded surprised… and pleased?
“Yes. But that doesn’t make a difference. I won’t touch you like that. No one here will. You can trust me. You’re safe here with us.”
“No one will force me to have sex?”
“Of course not.” He sounded offended. “Is that what they did?” He nodded before I even had the chance to respond, as if he’d answered his own question.
“All the time. Sometimes only one of the guys would make me… and sometimes it was one after another.” My mouth wouldn’t stay shut, the words flowing from my lips effortlessly. “I told Griller I was a virgin, naively thinking he would spare me, but all my confession did was excite him.”
There was something about Lincoln that, although I didn’t know him, made me want to tell him every sordid detail, my embarrassment falling to the wayside in exchange for someone’s compassion for my situation. It was the first time since I’d followed Pike into his club that I felt seen by another human being.
A tense-filled moment passed before he asked, “How did you come to even be with them?”
Dipping my head and saying a silent prayer for my deceased parents, I started telling him about how I ended up in California to begin with.
“Two years ago, when I was sixteen, my mom went into the hospital to have her gallbladder removed, and she ended up getting an infection and dying three days later.” I thought I’d cried an ocean of tears for my mom, but apparently, there were more, several leaking from the corners of my eyes. I pulled myself together as best I could before continuing. “My dad didn’t deal well with her passing. She was the love of his life for nearly twenty-five years. He lost his faith and eventually his church, where he was a pastor. He started drinking more as the months went on until one night, nine months ago, he was driving home from the bar when he crashed into a tree. The police told me he died on impact. There weren’t any skid marks or any evidence he swerved to avoid something in the road.” Several tears escaped for my dad. “I don’t think he wanted to live without her.”
“I’m so sorry, Maddie.” Lincoln rubbed my back in small circles. “I can’t even imagine how hard that must’ve all been.”
“It was. It is,” I corrected, stalling for time because the next part of my story involved my imprisonment. “I was eighteen, a legal adult, when he died. My dad drank up whatever money was left after my mom was buried. Then when he passed, his life insurance policy was all I had, which was enough to bury him, leaving me with five thousand dollars afterward. I have one aunt, whom I haven’t seen in years because my father didn’t agree with her lifestyle, her being a lesbian, so I didn’t have anything tying me back home. I decided to come here, to California, and start over. Maybe go to college. I’ve always had an interest in photography.” I shrugged, the dreams I once had seeming like they belonged to someone else now. “Once I got off the bus, I walked into a nearby diner, and that’s where I met Pike.”
“The prospect?”
“Yes.” I didn’t know why I was hesitant to tell the rest of my story. I’d already revealed what those men did to me while they’d kept me against my will. “I thought he was handsome and charming. I’d never met anyone like him before.” Lincoln’s nostrils flared at my admission. “I was naïve, trusting him when he told me he wanted to take me to a party. A party that just so happened to be back at his club.” Lincoln closed his eyes and took a breath, but because he didn’t tell me to stop, I kept speaking. “Pike told me he liked me and wanted to spend some time with me.”
“Then he should’ve taken you to a fuckin’ movie.” Lincoln hopped off the bed and started pacing.
I held this need to stick up for the prospect. “He was nice to me when he could be, when no one else was around.” Lincoln scoffed before continuing to wear a hole in the carpet. “He told me they threatened him, that if he ever tried to leave, they’d not only kill him, but also his mom and his sister. So, he was as much a victim as I was.”
“Like hell he was,” he shouted, reining in his temper when he saw me flinch. “He should’ve devised some sort of plan to get you out of there. He should’ve killed every last one of ’em.” Lincoln suddenly stood still; his eyes cast downward when he asked his next question. “Did Pike ever rape you?”