“So, what? You want me to break up with him before he breaks up with me?” I ask, turning back toward Daniel.
He shrugs one shoulder. “Have your fun, Hutton. Just know that it won’t last. I’ll be seeing you again when it’s time to collect his guilt money and sign your NDA.”
“That’s not very nice,” I whisper.
He snorts. “This life isn’t very nice, girl. You better grow a thick fucking skin if you’re going to be in the industry, even as just a girlfriend.”
My brows crease and I turn toward the stage to watch Beaumont some more. I think about the picture that I saw of him walking into Andi’s house. He admitted that he slept with her just days before coming back to town, before seeing me again.
The thing that bothers me the most is that Daniel isn’t wrong about the relationship Beaumont and Andi have. Beaumont told me himself that he and Andi had been on and off for years, sleeping with one another often. Maybe the rest of what Daniel is saying is true too.
Shifting my gaze back to Daniel, I take him in. He’s shorter, handsome in his own right, a scruffy beard and obviously takes care of his body. But he also looks like a snake. Like one of those salesmen that would do anything for that commission, no matter who he hurts.
“She usually joins him when he’s on tour,” he says. He’s planting a seed and I should know it for what it is, but I can’t push the thought out of my head. “Usually, she just slips in undetected by the rest of the world. All of the guys love her, a tour just isn’t the same without Andi showing up.”
“This one will be different,” I say, my voice wavering.
He smirks, his eyes moving back to me. His gaze connects with mine and my stomach clenches, because I know without a doubt that he thinks this woman is going to come, or maybe she already has. I don’t know and I hate that. I’m suddenly questioning every single thing.
“Maybe it will.” He shrugs.
Taking a step back, I feel my body growing warm. I need some fresh air. Turning around, I hate that I’m abandoning Beaumont’s show, but I can’t stay here a second longer. I imagine Daniel laughing in triumph, but he hasn’t won.
There’s no contest to win here.
This is real life, it’s not a game and it’s my heart.
Not only my heart, but Beaumont’s too.
Without looking up, I keep my eyes trained on the ground and hurry toward the bus. Yanking the door open, I climb inside and hurry toward the sofa, my knees giving out as soon as I arrive. My butt lands hard against the cushion and I lean over, trying to catch my breath.
I shouldn’t freak out, at least not until I talk to Beaumont. I need to know more about the NDAs, about the money, about the others. Maybe they don’t exist, maybe it’s just a way to get to me. If it is, it’s certainly working.
Just thinking about Andi Anderson and Beaumont together makes me feel like throwing up. He’s mine, he’s always been mine and as much as I want to believe that, I can’t. I’m lying to myself if I ever thought that he was ever mine.
He’s been Chelle’s, he’s been Andi’s, he’s been the world’s, but he’s never truly been mine, not even now.
The door to the bus opens what feels like only seconds later. Beaumont is standing there, sweat dripping down his face. I can still hear the people cheering in the small building just a few feet away. I hadn’t even realized that the music wasn’t playing anymore.
“What is wrong?” he asks.
“Have you paid off women and had them sign NDAs?” I blurt.
He blinks and I watch him lift his shirt, using it to wipe his face with the bottom before he releases it. His shirt is soaked through and clinging to his muscles. I lick my lips, trying not to think about his body, about his body on top of mine, inside of my own.
“I have. But for very different circumstances. What is all of this about?” he barks.
I gulp, standing to my feet. “Did you date those women?” I demand.
Beaumont takes a step toward me, his hand wrapping around the side of my neck. He dips his chin, his eyes focusing on mine. They’re warm and dark, almost like hot cocoa. I want to melt against him, sweat-soaked or not, he’s beautiful.
“I did, I guess if you want to call it dating, but I need to know what you’re asking me, Hutton. I’ll be honest, you know that, always. With you always,” he breathes.
“Did you break up with them for Andi?” I ask.
I know the answer before he verbalizes it. He releases me, taking a step back and running his fingers through his long hair. His expression is pained and he nods once.
“Andi and I have a history, you know that, Hutton. What is this all really about? Do you think that I’m going to leave you for her? I haven’t even spoken to her since we started seeing each other. I told you, it’s you and me, darlin’.”
God, he’s so convincing, I want to believe every single word that he’s saying. And I do, to a degree.
“For how long?” I ask.
His body jerks, and his eyes narrow, obviously irritated with the question and I would be too, if he were asking me, so I can’t even really get mad at that. He shakes his head a couple of times, inhaling a deep breath before he exhales it.
“For as long as it works, Hutton. I can’t make blind promises and I don’t expect you to either. We’re good though, I like what we are, and the direction we’re headed. Don’t ruin it by allowing other people to muddy up your mind.”
Pressing my lips together, I roll them a couple of times before I release them and begin to speak. “I don’t want to be the girl that I was when you left me all those years ago. I don’t want to be oblivious. You told me that you never loved Chelle?” I ask. He nods, his brows furrowing at my question. “Did you love Andi?” I ask.
“Why does that matter? I don’t now. I’m with you because I want to be, because you and me, we’re good together, because you make me feel a million different emotions. Because you’re who I see myself with.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out and bite the inside of my cheek as tears fill my eyes. “You did love her. If she came here, knocked on this door and begged you to be hers, what would you do then?”
“Doesn’t matter. She won’t and I’m not available.”
The tears swimming in my eyes start to fall. Beaumont lifts his hand, cupping my cheek and tries to wipe them away, but they’re coming too quickly.
“Don’t make a big deal about nothing, Hutton. I have to go back to a meet and greet. Go and lie down in the bed and rest. When I come back, if you still feel like we need to talk about this pointless conversation, we will. I’ll talk as long as I have to, to convince you that it’s you I want, nobody else.”
“Chelle came to see me,” I blurt.
His body jerks, his eyes widen. He doesn’t say anything. He tilts his head to the side, his eyes watching me, waiting for me to continue speaking. I don’t. I shouldn’t have said anything at all, but my stupid mouth got the best of me and just blurted it out.
“We’re talking about this later,” he grunts as his only response.
He leans down, touching his lips to mine, then as quickly as he came into the bus, he’s gone. I watch his retreating form and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me? What am I doing, standing in this bus crying?