Dizziness swept through me like a wave, and everything became hot. It was hard to breathe.
Fuck. Fuck. I was having a panic attack.
"Madison Kate," Steele's voice was muffled and echo-y, like he was underwater. Or I was. "You're okay. Hey, come on." His voice was coaxing as he guided me to the floor, encouraging me to sit with my head between my knees.
He rubbed circles on my back with a firm hand while whispering reassurances to me, and ever so slowly, the blackness receded.
"What's going on?" I heard Kody ask moments before his feet appeared in my limited field of vision. He crouched down. Gentle hands stroked my hair, and the two of them spoke to each other in hushed voices. But my ears were ringing, and I couldn't be bothered to work out what they were saying.
For several moments, I just focused on not passing out. Whoever was stroking their fingers through my hair was seriously helping in that regard, and I leaned into the touch.
"You okay, babe?" Kody's soft voice was right beside my ear, and I slowly raised my head to meet his eyes just inches away. I nodded the tiniest of nods, not totally believing myself.
He gave me a small smile, then scooped me up in his arms and stood. "You need a drink and some food."
I wanted to protest. I wanted to tell him to put me down because I could walk myself, dammit. But then... I also didn't want to. There was something so incredibly comforting about being in Kody's arms that I just bit my tongue and relaxed into him. Maybe it was just that he'd been there during my last panic attack. When he'd held me immobile in that tight, dark space while Archer headed off Zane, he'd distracted me so thoroughly away from the fear... Maybe my brain was remembering that incident.
He carried me through to the kitchen, but instead of putting me down on one of the stools against the island, he sat down himself and held me in his lap.
Steele grabbed a glass from the cabinets, filled it with water, and placed it on the counter beside me, but Kody scoffed.
"I meant a real drink, dickhead."
Steele didn't seem to take any offense, instead just disappearing into the den, presumably to raid my father's fully-stocked bar.
"Why am I in your lap, Kodiak Jones?" I asked, yet didn't make any moves to get off him.
His arms tightened around me. "Because you love it," he replied, with that typical Kody arrogance. "Besides, you're still really pale, and I don't want you to pass out and whack your head or something."
"Sound medical logic," I mumbled, resting my head on his chest and closing my eyes for a second. That panic attack had just hit me like a ton of bricks. Not that I was any stranger to them. After witnessing my mother's murder, I'd had them routinely over the tiniest of things. I'd thought I'd left them in my past, though. These days the only times I spiraled like that was when I got trapped in a small space.
A soft touch on my arm made my eyes open once more, and I took the offered drink from Steele. I took a sip and found myself pleasantly surprised by the sharp tang of ginger and lime.
"Thanks," I said with sincerity. "This is really good."
He arched a half smile at me. "Spiced rum with ginger beer and lime. Seemed like your kind of drink." The shine to his eyes suggested I wasn't the only one who now associated rum with public bathroom make-out sessions.
"What's going on in here?" Archer's unmistakable, grumpy rumble saw me tensing in Kody's lap. He was permanently angry, I was pretty sure, so fuck it. I'd stay right where I was.
More to the point... "Did you forget to tell me something, Archer?" I placed my drink down and leveled him with the most venomous glare I could, given I was literally using his friend as an armchair.
The big guy just met my glare without the slightest flinch.
"Nope. I think the less we speak to each other, the better off we'll both be." He rubbed a hand over a dark, stubble-covered cheek. "Wasn't your whole mission to get rid of us?"
I frowned slightly. "Still is."
A mean smile touched his lips. "Sitting in Kody's lap like you're about to ride his dick probably sends the wrong kind of message, then. Come to think of it, so would letting Steele finger fuck you over the sink in a dirty public bathroom."
I wasn't quick enough to catch my own gasp as my accusing gaze snapped to Steele. He didn't look apologetic in the least, though. Just... impassive.
Kody's fingertips seemed to tighten on my waist, but that could have been my imagination considering how much fury and betrayal had flooded through me.
"Tell me, Princess Danvers," Archer continued, sneering with an edge of disgust. "Did you ever get those black lace panties back?"
My stomach bottomed out. For a hot second I'd started thinking I was wrong about Steele, that my hatred toward him was misplaced. But he’d been playing me all along. For what? Bragging rights with his buddies? I should have done worse than that photoshopped image.
I would do worse.
Swallowing past the bitter hurt in my throat, I refused to look at Steele. It was so much easier to focus on Archer. Fucking Archer. Ugh, I needed to destroy him.
"So, you had no intention of telling me about my stalker?" I curled my lip at him in disgust, even as I casually slid off Kody's lap. He tried to tighten his hold on me, but I was determined and it would have been all kinds of obvious if he'd forced the issue. "That's a whole new level of low, D'Ath." I deliberately used his surname, the same way Dallas had. It pissed him off; I could see it in the tightness of his jaw.
Never one to back down, he just folded those huge arms and gave me a so what kind of shrug.
I stared back at him for a long moment, studying his ice-blue eyes for any scrap of apology. Any morsel of human decency. I found fucking nothing.
"You really want to step it up like that?" I gave a cruel chuckle, like some kind of deranged book villain. "So be it. You'll regret ever messing with me, Archer D'Ath. Trust me on that."
Casting a disappointed look over Kody—because I hadn't heard a single squeak from him since Archer had walked in—I left the room, heading straight up to my bedroom. I didn't look at Steele before I went. I couldn't. That apathetic, blank face he'd worn as Archer revealed intimate knowledge of what'd passed between us? That had broken me more than I cared to admit.
I needed to step up my game. Forget waiting for retaliation; this was war and there were no fucking rules. No polite etiquette. Only the brutal and bloodthirsty survived.
21
I couldn't sleep that night. How could I, knowing someone was stalking me? The worst part was not having any more-detailed information than that. Steele could have meant someone leaving anonymous love notes in the mailbox... or he might have meant they'd taken photos through my window. Or worse. What was worse? The mind boggled.
I was desperate to know, but to hell with asking those three. They could go take a flying leap off a cliff.
No, I needed to aim higher.
Lying in bed as the sun rose, I stared at the screen of my phone for ages before finally finding the courage to press "call."
The ring echoed through my room, and with every extra trill, my stomach sank. He wasn't answering. Of course, not. He was having too much fun with Cherry the gold digger to answer a call from his only child.