“There’s no way they can fire that cannon at us,” I said. “The shell would go through our car and wipe out three lanes around us. Diatheke would be finished.”
“That’s not for us,” Alessandro said. His eyes scanned the lanes ahead of us, but there was no opening. We were stuck.
The top of the Guardian came open and Celia climbed out in her pink Chanel suit. She stood, her arms out, trying to balance on top of the Guardian in her pumps.
What the hell was she doing?
Long dark quills thrust out of her, piercing her suit. Her skin stretched and tore, and a creature twice her size burst out of her, muscles bulging under dense red fur. It sat on its haunches, the sickle-shaped tiger claws of its hind feet digging into the metal of the Guardian. Its forelimbs, thick and powerful, like a gorilla’s, clutched at the barrel of the Guardian, anchoring the beast. A dense red mane that was more hair than fur thrust from its head and shoulders. Two-foot-long quills protruded from the mane and the backs of its forelimbs. Its face was horrible; a meld of cat and ape, with beady eyes sunken deep into its skull, a simian nose with huge nostrils, and feline mouth filled with long dagger teeth. A long, whiplike tail snapped behind it.
A metamorphosis mage. Shit.
The gun wasn’t for us. That cannon was for her, in case she went off the rails. When a metamorphosis mage transformed, they lost most of their ability to reason, reverting to a primal state somewhere between an attack dog and an enraged ape. There would be no reasoning with her. Anything short of a lethal injury would just piss her off.
“Can you nullify her with your magic?” I asked.
“Not once she’s in that shape. She’s fucking immune to everything.”
Celia’s enraged eyes fixed on us. She opened her mouth and howled, flinging spit into the wind. Oh God.
“Drive faster, Alessandro!”
“Go,” Bug screamed from the phone. “Go, go, go!”
There was nowhere to go. We were in the second lane from the right. Traffic clogged the interstate ahead of us. Even if we managed to force our way into the far-right lane, this section of the I-10 ran above the ground and a concrete wall guarded the edge. We couldn’t jump it. The Alfa was too small and low.
We had to exit.
“We can’t maneuver here. There’s an exit ahead,” I said. “Take Bunker Hill. We’ll lose them on the surface roads.”
“No!” Bug yelled. “Don’t take Bunker Hill, it’s closed. The tanker truck, remember?”
Two weeks ago, a tanker truck carrying thousands of gallons of gasoline overturned on the Bunker Hill exit and burst into flames. It burned for hours, and the fire ate through the concrete. A section of the exit had collapsed, plunging the burning wreck down to the street below. It was the biggest story on the news for a week.
“Bug’s right, don’t take the exit, there is a hole in it.”
“How big a hole?” Alessandro asked.
“Too big,” Bug said. “Twenty feet.”
“How many meters is that?”
“Six.”
“Ascending or descending?”
“Descending, right at the top of the curve.”
Alessandro darted into a tiny gap between a white truck and a black SUV on our right.
“Don’t do it, dickass!” Bug barked.
The green exit sign flashed over our heads, an orange warning strip across it screaming, “EXIT CLOSED.”
If h is the difference in height between the two sides of the gap, then θ is the angle of the exit’s slope, V is the velocity, and g is the standard acceleration of free fall at 9.8 m/s2; the required velocity would equal the square root of g *36m2 divided by 2(h+6tan θ)*cos2 θ . . .
I kept my voice calm. “Alessandro, you’re going to kill us. This only works in the movies and it requires a ramp. The moment our wheels leave the ground, the car will start dropping. Even if we make it, the vehicle will be crushed from the impact.”
“It will be fine.” The Alfa roared up the slope, accelerating.
“How? How will it be fine?”
He looked over at me. “This car is very light and we’re going to drive very fast.”
Striped white and orange barriers blocked the way. The small sports car smashed through them. Chunks of wood flew. Behind us the Guardian lumbered onto the exit, speeding up.
“No!” Bug screamed.
Construction vehicles flashed by on our sides. In the sideview mirror the Guardian tore up the slope, squeezing everything it could out of its engine to catch us.
“Please don’t do it,” I said.
Alessandro glanced at me for half a second and hit me with a dazzling smile. “Trust me.”
Black scorch marks stained the pavement ahead. Alessandro stood on the gas. The digital speedometer flashed 145. We were almost to the top of the slope.
I hugged the little dog to me.
The Guardian skidded to a stop. Celia leaped from the top of it, flying through the air like she had wings.
The Alfa went airborne.
I expected my life to flash before my eyes. Instead I went weightless, floating . . .
The Alfa crashed to the pavement and bounced hard. I pitched forward. My seat belt yanked me back. The Alfa skidded to a stop.
We made it. Oh my God.
“For fuck’s sake!” Bug cried out.
“See?” Alessandro grinned.
A heavy thud rocked the car. Celia landed on the roof. Two huge clawed fists smashed into the windshield like sledgehammers. The laminated glass cracked in a spiderweb pattern but didn’t shatter. Celia’s hand-paw broke through the glass and plastic. She clutched the edge of the hole and ripped the windshield out.
The little dog erupted into barks.
I pulled my Beretta out, pinned the dog with my left hand to keep it out of the way, and fired four shots through the roof. An angry shriek answered.
Eleven bullets left.
Alessandro stepped on the gas. The Alfa screeched in protest but rolled forward, weaving between the heavy construction equipment. Something must have broken on landing. We picked up speed . . .
Alessandro threw his arm in front of me and slammed on the brakes, spinning the car to the left. Celia slid off the roof, landed on the pavement on all fours, and rolled to her feet. Her maw gaped and she roared.
We had to get past Celia before the Guardian decided to start blasting the cement mixers and dump trucks blocking its view of us on the off chance the shrapnel and debris would hit the Alfa. Ramming her wouldn’t work. We didn’t have the mass and if she destroyed the car, we would be stranded on this exit.
Alessandro jumped out. Two guns appeared in his hands out of thin air. He fired at Celia.
I unbuckled my seat belt and scrambled out of the vehicle. The little dog tried to follow, but I slammed the door in its face.
The stream of bullets from Alessandro’s firearms pounded Celia. She jerked, snarled, and charged, loping forward in great leaps. I sighted her and fired. The Beretta pumped out bullets.
Eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven.
The shots tore into Celia without any visible damage. No blood.
Alessandro darted out of the way. A shotgun materialized in his hands. He pumped it and sank a burst into Celia’s stomach. She recoiled.
Six, five, four.
He pumped it again and fired at her face. She leaped aside, nimble like a cat, and flexed her tail. It whipped Alessandro, nearly taking him off his feet. He grunted and shot her again.