“Because it’s cute to see how anxious you are.” I kissed his cheek and knocked on the door before entering.
Jay’s mother called for us to come in, but he needed some convincing, as in me taking his hand and pulling him through the door, past the curtain, and to the bench seat across from his mother, who sat in a chair at Shilpa’s bedside.
Shilpa was already in a gown, under the sheets, as a nurse hooked her up to machines and took her information. Preeti pulled up a rolling stool. Shilpa threw us a smile and grinned even bigger seeing Jay tensely bent over, his arms on his thighs.
Even though this wasn’t my family, I was ridiculously excited.
Preeti glanced at the monitors, the one that recorded contraction intensity and fetal heart rate. “Are you okay with everyone here while we get the belts on?”
“Yeah,” Shilpa replied anxiously.
Preeti pulled the sheet down to Shilpa’s waist and lifted her gown to expose a giant belly. Jay silently groaned, his hands fists in front of his face, as he turned into me and pressed his head against my shoulder. I touched his head and whispered, “It’s okay. You won’t feel a thing.”
He chuckled against me. “I’m going to be sick.”
“The fun stuff hasn’t even begun.”
In another minute, we heard the baby’s heartbeat like sonar pulsating through the room. Preeti pulled out gloves and a little packet of lube. Snapping on the gloves, she beamed at Jay and said, “Guess what’s next?”
Jay shot to his feet. “My cue to leave. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
“I’m in good hands,” Shilpa said.
Preeti winked at us as I followed him out. We paced for a few minutes before an anxious Jahn ran down the hall, stopping in front of us to wheeze.
“Is she?” he gasped.
“She’s still pregnant,” I assured him.
“Should I go in there?” He looked at the door quizzically.
“You did this to her, I’m sure she wants you in there.”
“Can you check?”
“Unlike me, you’ve already seen her lady parts. Just knock and go in. The curtain is closed in case she yells at you to leave.”
“Okay.”
“You got this.” I slapped his shoulder as he walked inside. “You guys are both hilarious. Why are you so worried?”
“She’s had some difficulties,” Jay explained.
I frowned. “Oh. I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s made it this far. Just a little further to go. Preeti will make sure she’s taken care of.”
“Right. I know.”
I rubbed his arm. “You’re going to be okay, too, kaka.”
He scratched the back of his head. “I better get used to being called that.”
“I’m excited.” I grinned so hard that my face actually hurt.
“Me, too. Do you think about having kids?”
Way to knock my smile off… “And put myself through that? No, thank you.”
“Eventually your ovaries will be exploding every time you see me.” He wagged his brows and then winked at me.
I laughed so hard that I had to cover my mouth. It was funny until someone down the hall screamed bloody murder. “Oh, no. I can’t give birth. I don’t know how anyone does this.”
Preeti slipped out a few minutes later. “You guys can go in.”
“Is she okay? Is she close?” Jay asked.
“She’s fine, baby is great. And she’s only dilated to four. She was two in the office yesterday. Her contractions are closer, and her membrane is thinning.”
“Ugh, please, Preeti…” Jay groaned.
“This means she’s in labor and progressing. We’re going to keep her and see if she keeps progressing or if her water breaks.”
“She might get sent home?” he asked.
“It’s a possibility.”
“She’s going to be miserable if she has to go home pregnant.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll do our best to help her as much as possible. You’re welcome to stay as long she wants visitors, but I recommend letting her get some sleep tonight. I don’t foresee her delivering today,” Preeti said.
“Thanks.” He walked past her but looked back at me. “You coming?”
“Yeah, in a minute,” I replied.
When he disappeared into the room, Preeti grabbed my arms and muffled a squeal. “Tell me! What is this? You guys are freaking adorable!”
“Adorable?” I’d been called many things, but adorable was not one of them.
She batted her eyelashes and grinned so hard, her face might actually have gotten stuck that way. She nudged my arm with hers. “Look at you right now.”
“What? Something gross?” I went to touch my cheeks, my nose.
“You’re glowing,” she whispered, “like you’re in love.”
And that’s when a sudden truth hit me. Adrenaline pounded through me, both terrifying and exhilarating. Oh, lord. Was this real? Was this fantasy that only happened in other people’s lives happening to me?
“Oh, my god. You are…” Preeti cut off her squeal by clamping her lips together.
And just like that. Just like biting into a tiny, unexpected green chili in the middle of a bowl of sweet lilo chevdo snack and bam! Life, much like those unsuspecting taste buds, got a hell of a wake-up call.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jay
I was incomprehensibly glad for this moment. My nephew was due to arrive soon. A baby in the family, a new life, joy with endless potential, and I had the privilege of being a part of this day.
This was a family moment, but only one person was missing. He would’ve loved this. He would’ve been smiling and laughing and telling old-school dad jokes that he, no doubt, would’ve continued to tell his grandson for years to come. He would’ve had boxes and boxes of sweets to give away to every family member, uncle and auntie, and showered the nurses and doctors and staff with cookies. A dozen bouquets for Shilpa and Ma. The best chocolates from Europe flown in for Jahn. He would’ve placed a big hand around Jahn’s shoulders and walked him down the hall to get coffee and tell stories of when Jahn was born.
Dad should’ve been here for this.
My chest squeezed, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. My head buzzed, and I dragged my fingers through my hair. My hands shook.
This child was going to be born and it would be one of the happiest days of my life. But it also foreshadowed the anniversary of Dad’s death. Looking around the room at my family, I didn’t know how they did this. How they could be so happy but not torn the way my heart was? They saw the best, and I kept reliving the worst.
I concentrated on my breathing, on the goodness of what was happening all around this room. Ma was safe and happy. Shilpa was calm and healthy. Jahn was a frazzled mess but excited. Their baby was doing fine and prepared to meet us. Liya was a refreshing sight in a chaotic storm.
My nerves settled around eleven, only when I had dozed off for a few minutes. Shilpa hadn’t delivered, but she dilated to five, which meant they’d probably keep her and hopefully she would deliver tomorrow.