His dark eyes devour me, the curve of his sinful lips like a dare. “You want me, little mouse?”
I lick my lips and nod my head. Because I more than want him. I want to be his. “I won’t marry you,” I lie.
“We’ll talk about that later. For now, you only have to remain a virgin until your birthday.” That little statement instantly has me thinking, because I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to. I’m in control of my actions. It’s my decision. That knowledge gives me a sense of power I’ve never been able to experience before. It also has me feeling as though losing my virginity is all I want to do. But is that cutting off my nose to spite my face, as my mom likes to say?
Mom. She’s the one who’ll have the answers I need. “I should talk to my mom.”
“I’d never keep you from that.” His hand drops from my chin. He stares into my eyes for a moment before he leans down to kiss me softly. “I’ll be waiting for you, my little mouse.” He turns and heads back toward his office.
I want to follow him, but I need straight answers. Bandit comes running out of the office toward me. Cesar turns to look at me, his lips twitching into a smile as I lean down to scoop the kitten into my arms.
She goes for the pocket of my hoodie on her own. I let her climb in there, knowing it makes her feel safe. The same way I feel when I’m around Cesar.
It doesn’t take me long to find my mom. She looks up from the cookies she’s placing on the rack to cool. “Sweetheart.” She puts the spatula down and comes around the counter to give me a hug. Bandit only purrs louder when she’s squished between us. Mom’s arms comfort me the same way they always have since I was a child.
“You made cookies.” My stomach rumbles. They’re not just any cookies, but my favorite with Reese's Pieces sprinkled into them. My guess is that she knew I wasn’t going to like what I heard in this meeting.
“Sit down. I’ll get you some milk.” She kisses my cheek before heading over to the refrigerator as I snag a kitchen high top chair. I pull Bandit out of my hoodie to sit on top of the kitchen counter. She runs around and investigates everything.
“She’s so sweet when you're around.” My mom eyes Bandit as she puts my glass of milk down.
“She’s a sweetheart all the time,” I protest.
Mom raises a dark brow. “She’s a little terror who’s quick on her feet.”
I cover Bandit’s ears with my hand. “A furry angel.”
“I guess you’re kindred spirits.” My mom smirks.
“Maybe so.” I pick Bandit up and give her a bunch of kisses. “You’ve been hiding. I take it you knew about the meeting with the lawyer?”
She nods.
“Did you know what Dad’s will said?”
“I’ve known for quite some time, but I never told you about the virginity thing because I wanted you to live your own life, chart your own path free of whatever foolishness Hector cooked up. He wasn’t a good man.” She takes a seat across from me.
Mom has never been very forthcoming about my father. In fact, this may be the most direct information she’s even given me. My dad had controlled her for most of her life, and his death had liberated her in a way that I’m not even sure I can comprehend yet. I’m realizing that it had given her a voice in her life for the very first time.
“I know he wasn’t good to you.” I try not to bring him up because I worry it will hurt her. “Everything he had should’ve been left to you.” She deserved it. She’d done everything for that man, and him not leaving her anything was the ultimate slap in the face. It makes me hate him more.
“Your father would not like the idea of me going on without him.” She sighs. “If it was up to him I’d be in that grave with him.”
I fight back the wave of emotions that hits me. I know crying won’t help make my mom feel better. I can’t imagine what her life was like for so long. It only makes me realize how strong she really is.
“I hate him.” I throw it out there. “I’m glad he’s dead.” I mean every word of what I say. My dad is exactly where he belongs.
“I didn’t feel right talking ill of your father in front of you.” She pushes a plate of cookies in front of me. “He wasn’t always horrible to me. There were a few slivers of good times. And he had his moments with you.”
“Those were few and far between.” It was only when I was little that my father had a few tender moments with me. It was always after one of his tirades. He did the same with my mom.
He’d lash out and come back with one of his apologies. I only pretended to accept them because it was easier than facing the consequences. Not accepting would make things worse, and when it got worse Mom took that fallout.
“Cesar got us out.” Her lips twitch into a smirk.
“Do you trust Cesar?”
“I’m not sure I could ever trust a man again, sweetheart.” She reaches out and gives my hand a squeeze. “But I think with you he'd be good.”
“You don’t think he'll just marry me and then kill me?”
“I’d kill him.” She gives my hand another squeeze. “I was stupid when I married your father. Young and naïve. I learned quickly that I’d made a mistake, but I was stuck. You were the only good thing that came out of that marriage. I’d do it all over again, knowing that I’d get you.”
“I hate that he’s trying to control me from his grave. It’s sick. And paternalistic. And all around awful.” I can’t keep the anger out of my voice. Bandit lets out an adorable hiss.
“You’re almost there. Everything will be yours. You’ll never have to depend on anyone again. You’ll be free.”
“We’ll be free.” This time it’s me who squeezes her hand. I’m not going to let my father control us anymore. I don’t need or want his money. This is the one time that he doesn’t get to win. If Cesar didn't care about my father’s money or power, then he won’t care if I choose to throw it all away. It’s my choice if I want to remain a virgin or not. No stipulation in any sort of paperwork can take that away from me. I won’t let it.
My decision solidifies in my heart.
I don’t want to hold on to my virginity anymore. I’ve had a taste of Cesar and I want more. Hell, delayed gratification is definitely not my style. I want Cesar now. Even more so since I know it’s not what my father wanted. If I’m not a virgin anymore, then I’ll be free of it all. There will be no threat, because no one will want to take me down if I willingly forfeit it.
With my mind made up, I kiss my mom goodbye and go to find Cesar. I realize it will take more than a little convincing for him to take all of me but I’m more than up for the challenge.
I jog across the foyer when Anderson catches my eye with a wave. “Hey?” He never speaks to me.
“Looking for Cesar?” he asks.
“Yeah, where is he?” I bounce on the balls of my feet, anticipation rushing through my veins.
“The garage. Come on, I’ll walk you.”
“Okay.” I follow Anderson and try to think of the best way to proposition Cesar in the garage. Maybe something provocative on the hood of one of his sports cars? I wrinkle my nose. That seems a bit too … I don’t know … like one of those ‘80s videos I’ve seen on YouTube. No. Maybe I can just convince him to come back to his room and--