Or fear.
Fear that I now understood.
Fear that was justifiable.
First, there was the matter of threats that the Pierces had been receiving, not altogether surprising considering the shit I’d read they’d done. I could imagine there were plenty of people who wanted to see him hurting. Celia, too, which was why it was important to help find the bugger.
“I can guarantee you that Celia is not behind this,” I said, intent on clearing up any thoughts to the contrary. “And to prove it, we will have the journals flown here from London. They can arrive here by Tuesday. You may come back then. Now, if you don't mind, Celia needs to get some sleep. Our baby will be waking up in about five hours for her feeding, and you are correct, Celia really is a dragon when she hasn’t gotten enough sleep.”
Alayna appeared both shocked and relieved as I ushered her out the door. Hudson managed to hide any emotion, but I sensed his gratitude.
Good. He’d best remember that feeling when I talked to him next, and I would talk to him again. Soon, in fact. Very soon.
Tonight, though, I had my wife to deal with.
Twelve
Celia
I’d been afraid of my husband on many occasions. Many times it was even a turn-on, as he’d so often pointed out.
Tonight, though, as he closed the door behind Hudson and Alayna, the quiet that filled the space between us was thick with dread that I’d never felt before. A kind of foreboding that made my bones feel cold and my stomach feel like it was carrying a cannonball.
After the door had shut all the way he still didn’t turn around. He just stood there, one hand braced firmly against the wall, the other on the knob of the door.
“Edward…” I said tentatively.
“Don’t.” His voice was tight but controlled.
I gave it a beat, watching the muscles in his back expand as he breathed in deep then let it out. Then breathed in deep again.
Apprehension got the best of me. “What are you going—?”
He whipped around to face me, his eyes blazing. “I mean it, Celia. I’m not ready for you to talk yet.”
I clammed up. While I was desperate to know what he planned to do to Hudson now that he knew who he was, I sensed it was probably best not to push him right now. I had no doubt I’d find out soon enough anyway.
I just had to hope that, whatever he planned, it wouldn’t be devastating. Or that I’d be able to talk him down.
My silence seemed to settle him somewhat. His next breath came easier. Then he said,
“Living room. I need you to be sitting down for this conversation.”
He also appeared to need a drink for it because he stopped at the minibar on the way and filled a tumbler of cognac before following into the living space where I’d perched myself on the edge of the couch.
I’d left plenty of room on both sides of me, thinking he’d sit as well or take the armchair or his desk, but instead he stayed standing. It made me feel small, and perhaps that was his intention. It also made me irritated because it was obvious he was going to handle this with a heavy hand instead of like a reasonable adult.
That meant I had to be the grown-up. “Look,” I said as soothingly as possible, “I can imagine what you’re thinking—”
“You cannot possibly imagine what I’m thinking. If you could, you would be scared to utter a single word until I asked you to.”
A chill ran down my spine. I shut up and waited as he paced the room, back and forth, taking small sips of his brandy, each second adding to my growing apprehension.
He’s processing, I told myself. Instead of acting rashly, he was actually thinking it through. That was a good thing.
Wasn’t it?
“I think it’s safe to say we’re clear now about who A was,” he said, finally. “Who A is. Is that correct?”
“That’s correct.” I added “Sir” as an afterthought, hoping a show of deference would help my cause.
“Oh, that’s cute. Thinking you can earn points now with subservience. It’s too little too late, I think, don’t you?”
So much for that idea.
I thought the question was rhetorical, but when he waited, his eyes stabbing into me, I felt compelled to respond. “I’m not sure if you want me to actually answer that or not.”
“No. I don’t.” He took one more swallow of his drink before setting it on the desk. He clapped his hands together. “So. Hudson Pierce.”
I nodded once.
“Hudson bloody Pierce.” His fist pounded against the desk, causing me and the liquid left in the tumbler to jump.
Automatically, my mouth opened in an anxious need to try to clear up whatever needed clearing, but the warning look he gave me caused it to close again just as fast.
I wasn’t just scared of him, though. My irritation had escalated to pissed. Because shouldn’t he be happy now? He’d finally gotten what he wanted. Finally discovered my secret. Shouldn’t he be gloating? Why was he angry?
Yet he definitely was. I could feel the anger radiating off him hotter than the fireplace burning in winter.
“Let’s go through this,” he said curtly. “If you don’t mind, just so I can have a clear picture.”
“Sure.”
He glared at me, as though my speaking had been out of turn.
“You asked if I minded,” I said with hostile bravado. “If you expect to get anything from me at all, you better treat this like a civil conversation, Edward. I am not your property. I am a human being, and whether you feel like I deserve it or not, I will not sit here if you’re going to do nothing but belittle and terrorize me.”
His gaze narrowed. “If you’d rather be treated like I would treat any rival who had crossed me, then I can do that. Granted, I don’t think you realize the privileges you gain from your status as my wife.”
You’re being an asshole right now.
It was what I wanted to say, but his threat reminded me that although I knew without a doubt that Edward would never do anything to really harm me, that wasn’t the case with someone he wasn’t married to. Someone like Hudson.
And so my capitulation was about protecting my one-time friend, nothing else. I lowered my eyes to my lap, signaling my submission.
“Good. We’re on the same page here, at least. How about you help me confirm the rest.” It wasn’t a question. “You grew up with Hudson, your mothers were friends. You developed a bit of a crush on him that he proceeded to take advantage of. Correct so far?”
It had been more than a crush but less romantic than he suggested. I’d been in the aftermath of Uncle Ron, needing some assurance of my value as a woman. As a person. Hudson had been the one I’d turned to.
But Edward wasn’t interested in any of that right now, and honestly, he already knew. And the ending was accurate. Hudson had taken advantage of my feelings. So I answered simply. “Yes.”
“He played you, then you took the betrayal badly—”
“Is that really necessary?”
He ignored my interruption. “—and got back at him by sleeping with his father. Honestly, did you need Pierce to teach you anything? You seemed to already have retribution down pat.”