“Alayna’s a better person than I am.”
“Mm.” I didn’t doubt that. I did, however, doubt his perspective. “And if it had been Alayna who had done those things, you still would have run?”
“She wouldn’t have. She isn’t capable.” But he’d paused, and while I imagined he was right about what his wife was or wasn’t capable of, I also sensed that he’d realized there was nothing he wouldn’t have forgiven her if she were.
The point was made, anyway.
And it created a convenient segue to my next point. “There was one victim those journals never detailed. A game played on a naive young girl who never considered her childhood friend would betray her.”
He remained stoic, but the accusation hit its mark. “It’s true that I hurt Celia first. I don’t deny that.”
“And do you regret it?”
“Some days more than others.” To his credit, he looked guilty. “Less so when I remember what she’s done to me. What she’s done to Alayna.”
The reminder of Celia’s sins felt pale next to all that I knew were Hudson’s. The all too familiar call to vengeance beckoned at my ear. “I know all too well how easy it is to hold a grudge.”
“Calling it a grudge is simplifying the matter. She caused real harm to people I love.”
“Just like you caused real harm to people that others loved.” I matched his defensiveness with my own. “To someone that I love.”
For a moment, he held his stance. Then his shoulders relaxed. “It’s different when you’re on the other side,” he admitted.
“That it is.” I held up my cigar, non-verbally questioning what he’d prefer I do with the growing ash.
He nodded to a gold cylinder bin that I only realized was an ashtray when I crossed to it and saw the basin of sand at the top. I set the cigar down to allow the excess ash to shed naturally and turned back to face the man I’d considered my rival. “I investigated you, you know. Looked into more than just your business background. Dug into the charities you support—autism, mental health, addiction treatment. Plus there are a great deal of college and business grants you fund, most started in recent years. A few of those recipients seem to have familiar profiles.” Having read those journals gave me an advantage. No one else would have connected Hudson’s benefactors to the wrongdoings of his past.
His face turned to stone, but the slightest shade of color topped his cheeks. “Celia isn’t the only game I regret.”
“Right. You’ve changed. From what I can see, it seems genuine. Though, one might argue that guilt doesn’t make for noble motivation.”
“I never claimed I was noble.”
“I find that respectable. You don’t flaunt your philanthropic acts. There’s actually a lot about you that reminds me of myself. I go out of my way to contribute to causes that represent what I consider to be my greatest failings. I also believe firmly that karma doesn’t happen on its own. It requires time and attention that must be carried out by those with the ability to dedicate themselves to the cause.
“You are exactly the kind of cause I find myself most drawn to.” I let that sink in, let the threat penetrate, let him understand precisely what I was implying before I went on. “Even if I hadn’t known Celia, I would have wanted to ruin you after reading those journals. You think I should have wanted to run? No, I wanted a reckoning. You were a powerful man who took advantage of people who were vulnerable. For your entertainment. You preyed on the weak. You deserve to pay retribution for every heart you broke, every marriage you destroyed, every dream you crushed, every soul you wrecked. You deserve to have everything taken from you.”
He turned to face me head-on, but while his posture was offensive, his words were not. “I’m not going to defend myself. I can’t.”
I hadn’t realized how much I’d hoped he’d try until that moment. If he had, I might not have been able to go through with this. My anger would have been too fueled to smother.
But his refusal to fight made it impossible to change my course. Which was for the best.
“You don’t have to defend yourself,” I told him. “You already have a defendant. Celia has done nothing but defend you since the first time you came up. She’s protected your name. She’s justified your actions. She’s stood by you. She’s pleaded your case. At first, I thought you had her brainwashed. I’ve since learned that she’s a smart, sane woman who is more than capable of thinking for herself, and she does. All the time. Sometimes to my detriment, which I admire more than I care to admit. So then I thought she was in love with you.”
He perked up at that insinuation.
“She’s not,” I said quickly, unwilling to let him consider the notion for any length of time. “She never really was, from what I gather. You made her think maybe she could be once upon a time, but I’m sure you know as well as anyone the quality of manipulated emotions.”
“Unfortunately, I do.”
“The reason she defended you, I finally realized, is because she genuinely believes you are a good person. That you’ve changed. And I think the only reason she’s able to believe it as she does is because she’s changed too. It takes one to know one, etcetera, etcetera.”
“And what do you think?”
I appreciated the question and answered gladly. “I’m less prone to believe it. Because if it were true, you’d know it was possible she’s changed too. You would recognize the signs. You wouldn’t be campaigning so hard to keep the upper hand. You wouldn’t be so afraid.” I chuckled. “Ironic that she’s the one you fear. It should be me. I should frighten the hell out of you.”
This was the kind of threat I was used to delivering, and a part of me expected the usual fawning and backtracking from Hudson that I had heard from countless other foes.
But Celia had warned me about the man for a reason—he was legitimately formidable, with his own threatening countenance. A man who wouldn’t back down.
“Do you want to know why I don’t?” he asked, sure of himself as ever.
“Please. Tell me.”
“Because you love her.”
I did love her. I wouldn’t deny it. Yet, it felt almost like he was reading my journal the way he announced it, as though this piece of knowledge gave him insight into all of me.
I picked up my cigar to distract from how vulnerable it made me feel.
But he’d spotted my weak spot, and he pressed on it further. “Speaking from one man who is very like another, you’d move heaven and earth for the woman you love. You’d protect and defend her, no doubt in my mind. But you’d also honor her. From what you’ve just told me, hurting me would mean disregarding her wishes.”
He did understand me. Because he was the same kind of man. Younger and more vain, perhaps, but still a king who bowed only to the woman he adored.
“You’re smarter than I gave you credit for. Celia said that about you, too.” I puffed thoughtfully on my cigar. “You’re right. She doesn’t want me to go to war with you, and that should be reason enough not to. I’m sad to say that it wasn’t enough. She begged and bartered, and…” I shook my head, thinking about how painfully stubborn I’d been. “Didn’t matter. I didn’t care. I was determined. Because I knew what was best for her. Better than she knew for herself.”