“Okay. I didn’t say I was ‘excited,’” Mitch said from behind me. I could practically hear the air quotes. “I said I’d help out. What exactly do I have to do?”
Someone shushed him; it sounded like April. “Be quiet, Kilty.” Definitely April.
“The point is,” Simon continued as though Mitch hadn’t interrupted, “it’s time to let other people be in charge. I can honor my brother more by letting go of the past and living my own life. And Emily . . .” He was so close now, his eyes searching mine, and I was as caught in his gaze as I ever was. “The only thing I’m sure I want in that new life is you.” He took my hand, and our fingers threaded together instinctively. I held on tightly because, despite everything, I’d missed him so much. “Everything that makes up my life—my job, my house, even Faire—I didn’t choose any of it. I didn’t get a chance to.” He pitched his voice low now; his words were for me alone. “They all happened, were passed on to me as something to take over. And I took them over because I thought I should. But then you came along, Emily, and you weren’t a should. You were a want. Being with you was the first thing I wanted, the first thing I chose for myself, in years. And I fucked it up so completely that night.”
“No.” My heart ached for him, for his past, for those obligations that had been heaped on his shoulders. Our fight seemed insignificant in comparison.
“Yes.” But Simon wouldn’t let me put myself second this time. “I did. I put all those shoulds ahead of you, and I deserved it when you walked away from me. But you still told Chris I needed help. You knew what I needed when I didn’t even know what to ask for. I hoped that meant there was still part of you that cared. That I could get a second chance to tell you how much you mean to me. Not for what you can do for me, or for Faire. But for who you are. And for who I am when I’m with you.”
“But . . .” This close, his clean scent surrounding me, it was hard to think. “Are you sure about this? I know how much you love Faire.”
“I do.” He nodded in agreement. “I love Faire. But I don’t need Faire. I need you, Emily.” He reached for me then, his palms cupping my face. “I love you.”
I caught my breath at his words, my throat closing in a sob. My heart was so full I was sure my love shone in my eyes, but in case he couldn’t tell I whispered the words back to him. “I love you, Simon.”
He closed his eyes, and relief smoothed across his features. Then he cleared his throat. “So . . .” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a length of golden cord.
I let out a choked laugh. “We did that already, remember? I think it was good for a year and a day. We’ve got a while till that expires.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I mean, you’re right. We were bound once before, but it was fake. It doesn’t count. I want you to understand everything I feel for you is real. Will you start this new life with me, for a year and a day? Not as Captain Blackthorne and Emma. But as you and me. Simon and Emily.”
The words were an echo of what I’d said in his kitchen that night, when I’d come to his house with a bottle of rum to proposition a pirate. What he offered me now was ten times better. A new start. A real start. I drew in a shuddering breath and reached for the cord. We each held on to an end of it, winding the golden cord in our fingers, letting it connect us. But that wasn’t the ceremony, and my mind went blank. “I don’t remember what we’re supposed to do.”
“I know this part.” Caitlin suddenly appeared between us and took the cord away. “You have to join hands.” Her accent had slipped, but whatever. It was the end of Faire and this was an unorthodox handfasting. She took my hand and placed it in Simon’s. His hand closed around mine, and we both let out a small sigh of relief. I remembered the first time we’d done this, how I’d felt a sense of peace. That peace was back. For good this time.
Then Chris spoke, in her lovely lilting voice as Queen. “Groom and Bride, I bid you look into each other’s eyes. Will you honor and respect one another and seek to never break that honor?”
Groom and bride. I’d been horrified when she’d said those words at the beginning of the summer. Now the peacefulness expanded. This wasn’t a wedding, not even close, but it was the beginning of something very real. Very right. I looked up at Simon and as he looked down at me I could see the same reflected in his eyes.
“Yes.” I answered the Queen’s question but addressed Simon as I did so. He did the same.
“And so the first binding is made.” Cait followed directions, wrapping the cord loosely around our joined hands.
“Will you share each other’s pain, and seek to ease it?”
“Always,” he said immediately, but I was too full of emotion to speak. His hand squeezed mine, and I squeezed back. I’m here, I wanted to say. I’ll always be here.
“And so the second binding is made.” This second loop brought our hands tighter together.
“Will you share the burdens of each, so your spirits may grow in this union?”
At our murmured assent, the cord was looped around a third time.
“Simon and Emily.” I blinked up at Chris, surprised to hear our names being used. She dropped a wink at me. “As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust. Above you are the stars and below you is the earth. Like the stars, your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.”
I couldn’t think of a better way to start a relationship.
Simon pulled his hand free from mine, only to reach for me with both hands and finally kiss me the way I’d wanted him to ever since I first saw him in this clearing. His kiss felt different; I’d never kissed him when he was clean-shaven. But his lips were warm, and his mouth tasted like home. His arms around me, his body against mine, felt like home. I curled a hand around the back of his head, his close-cropped hair slipping between my fingers, and held him to me. He exhaled a long breath into the crook of my neck. I love you, he mouthed against my skin, and I held him tighter. We were both home.
When we drew apart we were mostly alone. The rest of the group had started to disperse, giving us a little privacy by heading up to the front for the final pub sing. April walked ahead with Caitlin, but she looked over her shoulder at me. She sent me a wink and I crinkled my nose at her. Had everyone in my life been in on this?
Simon brought my hand to his mouth as we walked, reassuring himself that I was there. That I wasn’t going anywhere. “I’ll need you to distract me next summer at Faire, you know. So I don’t try micromanaging everything.”
“Hmmm. I bet I can think of some ways.” Next summer seemed so far off. But I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. My roots had definitely started to take hold. “Is it okay if I don’t want to be a wench next year?”