“What’s wrong, Chaser? You look ready to jump out of your skin,” Garrett says.
No reason to draw this out. Or ask for permission. “I’m going home for a few weeks.”
Garrett sits back and runs his hands through his hair, but doesn’t say a word.
Alvin pins me with a stern look. “We’re not done with the demo for Cutter. The longer we make him wait, the greater the chance he refuses to work with us.”
“For now, we’re done.” I throw my hand out toward the bathroom. “We would’ve delivered the songs to Cutter weeks ago if it wasn’t for Jacob fucking around.”
“What’s going on?” Garrett asks.
“I’m too fucked up, and I need to get clean.” No point in lying to my bandmates. It’s not like they haven’t witnessed my decline firsthand. Maybe if they know I’m getting my shit together, it will encourage them to do the same.
Hell, I can dream, right?
Garrett shakes his head and walks out of the room.
“Why now?” Alvin asks.
I lean in. “Bro, this is messing with me way too much. All the stuff I’ve been writing lately is shallow and shitty. I either can’t sleep or I sleep too damn much.” I lower my voice. “Can’t keep my dick up long enough to fuck my girl. That’s the final straw. The lowest I’m willing to go.”
The son of a bitch roars with laughter.
“It’s not funny.”
“No,” he says, turning serious again. “It’s not.”
“Will you check on our place while we’re gone?” I point at him. “And do not use it as another party pad.”
The corners of his mouth tip up. “Nah, if anything, I’ll probably use it to get away from these two fiends.”
“You gotta look after Jacob. G’s got no spine when it comes to him. I’m sorry, I’m dumping it on you, but I’m no good to any of you in this condition.”
“No, I get it.” He rubs his hand over the back of his neck. “You tell Val yet?”
“Fuck. No, I just decided this morning.”
He claps his hand over my shoulder and squeezes. “I’ll go with you to break the news.”
Before leaving, I need to pop upstairs and let Mallory know where I’m going. After last night, if I disappear on her right now, no matter the reason, she might not be here when I return.
“Everything okay?” The suspicious way she eyes me up and down stings.
“I’ll be back in a few hours.”
She works her jaw from side to side, clearly not pleased, but hesitant to argue with me in front of Alvin.
“What are you doing with your bike?” Alvin asks.
“Shit.” My body twitches as I search the apartment. Like a parking spot’s going to magically appear in my living room.
“We’ll look for a place to store it,” Alvin assures me. “Come on.”
“What do you need me to do?” Mallory asks.
“Pack a bag. Make your phone calls.”
“All right.” A feral expression I’m not used to seeing on Mallory’s face turns her features hard. No nonsense. She comes closer and grabs a fistful of my T-shirt, yanking me to her. “Don’t fuck around today, Chaser.” She lowers her voice. “I’m not kidding. Do what you need to do and get your ass back here.”
Fuck, she’s fucking hot.
“Alvin, give us a minute.” I hold up one finger and nudge Mallory backward.
“Oh, no.” She digs in her heels and won’t budge. “You haven’t earned any pussy yet. Get going.”
I groan. There’s nothing hotter than the word pussy coming out of my girl’s proper-princess mouth. “You worried I’ll let you down again?” I whisper in her ear.
“No.” She kisses my cheek. “I’m trying to keep you focused.” Her face softens, and she runs the back of her hand over my cheek. “Trust me, as soon as we’re back in New York, I’m going to fuck you silly.”
Blood thunders through my veins, and I pull her closer, pressing a searing kiss to her lips. “Well, now I’ve got something to look forward to.”
Goals. Everyone needs them.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chaser
Being out with Alvin while we run our errands gives me too much time to plan and scheme.
The addict side of me has apparently grown a pair and decided if I’m going home to get clean, I should go out with a bang.
To say Val’s pissed about me leaving is an understatement. Since I’m not explaining my addiction or dick situation to her, I keep our conversation as vague as possible.
Unfortunately, Val can see right through my wall of cool. “Are you using? I can get you into a program here. You don’t need to go all the way to New York to get sober.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Chaser, everything about the band is my business.”
I keep my lips sealed.
“This is the worst possible time for you to disappear. That demo needs to be done. Yesterday.”
A begging, pleading, reasonable-toned Val is downright unnerving.
“Trust me, I’m just as worried about it as you are. But you and I both know right now what we’re missing are Jacob’s vocals.”
She sighs. “Tell me what’s really going on with him?”
Should I tell Val? Probably. But while I strongly suspect he’s added shooting smack to his drug repertoire, I don’t know for certain. Besides, ratting people out isn’t in my nature. “You’ll have to talk to him about it.”
“Give me something, Chaser.”
“I’ve got nothing to give right now, Val. That’s the truth.”
“Mallory’s going home with you?”
“Yeah.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re going to ruin both your careers in one shot.”
Fury rises in my throat. I slap my hand on her desk and stand. In what’s left of my rational mind, I know I’m only pissed because she voiced my worst fear. “We’re done here. I’ll check in with you once a week and let you know when I’m back in town.”
“How mad is she?” Alvin asks as I stomp down the hallway. People actually leap out of my way. Office doors shut with a bang. Guess I must be a scary bastard today.
“Give me a second.” I hold up one hand to Alvin and reverse course.
Val’s assistant jumps when I rest my elbows on her desk and lean over. I give her a wink and a crooked smile. She hands out coke like Halloween candy. I’m pretty sure it’s part of her job description. Another reason Val trying to talk me into rehab pisses me off so much.
The exchange takes a few seconds.
A minute later, I’m in the bathroom inhaling two fat lines.
Ah, breakfast of champions.
“Seriously?” Alvin takes one disgusted look at me when I meet him outside.
“I didn’t say I was quitting today.” I practically rip the passenger side door out of his hands and throw myself into the car. “Step off my nuts.”
He slams the door in my face.
The rest of the day consists of finding a storage facility for my bike, snorting lines, and a fog of paranoia.