I wrap my arm around her shoulder and kiss her forehead. “Not terrible at all. Understandable, in the circumstances.”
She looks up at me. “And what about you? How do you feel?”
“Me? About last night?”
“About everything.”
I look around at the sunny street. The blue sky above. Down at Ryah, standing close to me. “I feel like I’ve put some things to rest these past few weeks. I think I’m less angry about everything now. About Mirrie. My worst fear is anything happening to you. I wanted to kill him last night, but I’m glad I didn’t. If I’d killed him, I would have lost you, and it wouldn’t be what my sister would have wanted, either.”
“You feel better about Mirrie even though the hearing didn’t go the way you wanted?”
I take a deep breath. “That man is going to jail for a long, long time. I know in my heart that’s where he belongs for what he did for Mirrie. Those other women he killed, their poor families will know about Mirrie. They’ll think about her, as I’ll think about their sisters and daughters. And I’ll never forget my sister.”
Tears shimmer in Ryah’s eyes, and I pull her tight against my chest. You don’t always get the justice you want. You don’t always find the perfect closure, but you can find your own way to move on and live for the people you love. That’s just as beautiful. Maybe it’s better, in some ways, because it’s something you make together.
“Come on. Let’s go buy that test.”
We head up the street to the pharmacy, and then cross the road and go into a coffee shop so Ryah can use the test in the bathroom.
Before she can disappear, I take her hand. “If it’s negative, I won’t be sad. I don’t want you to be sad, either, okay? We’re only just getting started on our life together. This is the beginning.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and smiles broadly. “Okay. But just so you know, if it’s negative, I kind of really want to make it positive as soon as possible.”
“Hell yes, sparkle. Me, too.”
“I’ve thought a lot about it these past few weeks. Actually, I’ve done nothing but think.”
“About having my baby?”
Ryah plays with the button on my shirt. “Not exactly, but about what it means to be part of this circus permanently. About being with you, when so many people dislike or mistrust what we are.” She chews her lip for a moment. “I kind of wish your grandmother was alive so I could talk to her, because she had this in reverse, didn’t she?”
Grandma Dilaia gave up life on the road to settle down in a farmhouse with my grandfather, whereas Ryah’s giving up a permanent home. She’ll be living on the fringes with me and the rest of the circus, alongside society, but separate. Always separate, and sometimes misunderstood.
I stroke Ryah’s hair back from her face. “She told me that it was a hard decision to make, but because she was with the man she loved, she never regretted her decision. She said love was the most important thing.”
Ryah gazes up at me with her big blue eyes. “We have all the love I could want, and there isn’t anyone or anything I’d give that up for.”
“But there are things that might have been,” I say. A loving home. A mother and father who care for her and protect her. School, university and friends. A career.
“I think I’ve found something far more wonderful with you and the circus than anything that might have been,” she tells me.
I kiss her smiling mouth. Life with the circus is the road less travelled, but it can be a wonderful path, when you have the right partner by your side. Looking down at Ryah, I’ve never felt luckier nor more blessed than I do right now. “I think I have, too. Actually, I know I have.”
She smiles up at me shyly. “Better take this test then, shouldn’t I, ringmaster?”
Half-walking, half skipping, she disappears into the bathroom. I wait outside, trying to keep still and failing miserably as I get in the way of this person or that carrying a mug of coffee or a slice of cake over to a table.
Several minutes later, Ryah emerges from the bathroom. Her head is ducked and I can’t see her face. She goes up on her toes and presses her lips against my ear. “We’re going to have a baby.”
I give a great whoop of joy, pick Ryah up in my arms and whirl her around. The people sitting at tables all around us raise their heads from their conversations and stare at us.
I can’t possibly keep this wonderful news to myself. “We’re going to have a baby!”
Everyone breaks into smiles and starts clapping. Several women get up from their seats and hug Ryah, and a few of the men shake my hand.
We’re going to have a baby. I can’t hardly believe it.
Back at the circus, we break the good news to everyone. Most people are still reeling from the events of the night before, so to discover that Ryah and I are in love and we’re having a child is greeted first by shock, and then by delight.
Everyone hugs us, over and over, and tells us how happy they are for us. We assure them that we’re staying with the circus, and that we’re not going to suddenly disappear and settle down in a house somewhere. We’re staying right here with all of them.
It’s been an eventful twenty-four hours, and Ryah and I spend the afternoon relaxing by the fire sitting close together chatting to the others. Everyone’s so happy for us.
Everyone except Elke.
“What’s up with Elke?” I ask Ryah loudly, as Elke walks past yet again, determinedly not looking at us.
Ryah grins and says just as loudly, “She’s mad about the baby.”
Elke whirls around. “Excuse you, Ryah. You know I’m happy about the baby. If I’m mad it’s because Cale, a grown-ass man, didn’t use protection with his teenage girlfriend and by the sounds of it didn’t even talk to you about the possibility of getting pregnant.”
I duck my head, trying to seem penitent, but unable to help my smile. I put my arm around Ryah, and gather her closer. She’s grinning as much as I am and snuggles into me.
“I got distracted.”
She makes an impatient noise. “I never imagined you could be so irresponsible, Cale. What happened to being Mr. Safety?”
Ryah and I exchange guilty, amused looks. We both know that safety and responsibility went out the window as soon as I kissed her. I can’t wipe the smile off my face, no matter how indignant it makes Elke.
She makes an irritated noise, and I turn to her. “I have Ryah, I have our baby, and I love them. I came so close to losing both of them. After being wonderfully reckless for a handful of weeks, I’m back to my old, uptight self. I promise.” I cross my heart and grin at Elke, and then press a kiss to Ryah’s temple.
“Well, you better be,” Elke grumbles. And then, as if she can’t bear to scowl at us anymore, she wraps her arms around our necks and hugs us, and I can feel her relief that we’re okay in the way she holds us so tightly. The circus has been shaken up by recent events, and I’ll do my best to see to it that everyone starts feeling secure again.
Elke heads off for her wagon, and I look down at Ryah.
I regret nothing, because I have more than any man could ever hope for. With Ryah tucked safely against me and my hand on her belly, my world is complete.