“What’s up?” He wasn’t hostile, but he wasn’t friendly either. It was like we’d become strangers.
And I hated it.
“I just wanted to see how things are? You know... with stuff?” I ran a hand over my head, rubbing the back of my neck.
Fuck.
Why was this so hard?
It wasn’t supposed to be hard. Levi was my brother, my blood. Nothing was ever supposed to come between us.
“I’m not going to head out and try to score, if that’s what you mean?”
“Levi, I didn’t... I just wanted to talk.”
“So talk, little brother.”
A beat passed.
And another.
I had all these things I wanted to say, things I’d spent hours stewing on. But now I was standing here, with him staring at me, and I had nothing.
“You and Eva are good?” he asked, breaking the silence.
My eyes went wide. “You’re... you’re asking me about...”
I didn’t know what the hell to do with that.
“We’re good.”
He nodded. “You seem happy... with her, I mean.” A faint smile played on his lips. “She’s good for you. I mean that.”
“Listen, maybe we can hang out? Just the two of us. I’d really like—”
“Honestly, this, us having some distance, it’s working for me right now.”
“Oh.” My shoulders sagged.
Levi frowned. “This is just something I need to deal with, on my own.”
“You’re not alone though. You have the guys, Letty... Phoebe.”
His eyes lit up, but quickly darkened. “The new girl? Is that a fucking joke?”
“You tell me. The two of you looked pretty close the other night.”
“She’s like me.” He released a long breath.
“You mean she’s an add—”
“Fuck, no. She’s... it’s not my story to tell.”
“Just be careful, yeah?”
“You don’t need to worry about me, bro.”
But I did worry.
Even now, even after all the words and fists and distance, I worried. Levi walked his life on a tightrope. One slip up and he’d plummet into darkness.
He went to walk away, but I called after him. “Levi?”
“Yeah?”
“I know things aren’t right between us, and I know that’s on me, but I’ll always be here for you. Always. I love you brother.”
He regarded me for a second, processing my words, and then gave me a tight nod.
It wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for when I approached him. But part of me couldn’t help but feel proud, hopeful even. Levi wasn’t spiraling out of control. If anything, he was more levelheaded than ever. But a little voice knocked at my conscience. Levi portrayed someone in control, but what if it was all a front? What if he was only showing me, and everyone else, what we wanted to see?
I wanted to go after him and make him talk to me, the way we had so many times before. Brother to brother. But I knew pushing him was not the way.
“There you are.” Hands looped around my body from behind as Eva snuggled against me. “I wondered where you’d gotten to.”
“I tried to talk to Levi.” I pulled her around my side and into my arms.
“And?” Eva craned her neck to look at me.
“It could have been worse. Does he seem okay to you, really?”
“He definitely seems different. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. But he’s present, right? And he seems clearheaded. Why? Are you worried?”
“I’m always worried.” I dipped my head, brushing my lips across hers. “Are you excited about the show?”
“Excited and nervous. I still pinch myself every mornin’ to make sure this is real.”
“Oh, it’s real, Starshine. Do you need me to prove it?” My tongue licked the seam of her mouth, demanding entry. Eva let out a soft sigh, falling willingly into the kiss. She tasted of peppermint, taking my breath away.
“Have I told you lately that I love you? So fucking much.”
Her soft laughter danced over my skin. “You’re so goofy.”
“I think the word you’re lookin’ for is whipped, at least according to Hudson.”
“He really thinks that?” An adorable frown crinkled her brows.
“He’s only jealous. What we have, it’s the real deal. I don’t think any of us ever thought we would find that.”
“You’re still all so young, you couldn’t possibly know that...”
“I know that, and you know that, but when you’ve spent most of your life being told you’re worthless or useless or an inconvenience, those labels, they start to stick.”
“I hate that you all went through that.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is. Besides, family isn’t always blood; it’s who you choose to let into your life.”
“Well, I feel very lucky to know you all.”
“Even Hudson?” I smothered a grin.
“Even Hudson.” Eva nodded resolutely. “So, I was thinkin’… and I know Damon said he didn’t want any fuss, but it doesn’t seem right not celebratin’ the fact he’s turnin’ twenty-one, so what if we throw him a surprise party?”
“A surprise party?” That sounded the opposite of low-key to me, but Eva looked so excited, I didn’t have the heart to crush her idea.
“Nothin’ excessive. Just you, me, the guys, Letty, Phoebe, and a few of the roadies. We can get him cake and decorate the hotel suite.”
“Actually, that sounds pretty damn perfect.” There would be no stress of having to arrange something, hoping our location wouldn’t be leaked to the media.
“You know Hudson will probably want to get him a stripper or something.”
“It’s a good job Hudson isn’t organizing it then.”
I tightened my arms around Eva’s waist. We weren’t alone, with people coming and going around us incessantly, but it no longer mattered. We didn’t have to hide our relationship from anyone. There was something so fucking freeing about that, being able to just be with Eva like this, in public.
“What?” She smiled up at me.
“Nothing.” I kissed her again. Showing her that it wasn’t nothing.
It was everything.
She was everything.
“Great show, guys,” Alistair greeted us as we filed off stage. The crowd had been electric, a permanent buzz in the air. We were sweaty and high on adrenaline, and all I wanted was to find Eva and drag her into the nearest shadows and kiss her.
“Fuck yeah, it was,” Hudson bounced on the balls of his feet, grinning.
“Listen, I need to speak with you all. Can you get cleaned up and meet me on the bus?”
Our good mood stalled. Damon’s brows bunched together. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Is Eva—”
“Eva is fine,” Alistair said to me. “But some things have come to my attention that need dealing with. Get cleaned up and we’ll talk.” He turned and walked off, disappearing into the crowd of roadies gathered, waiting to dismantle the set.