“That’ll be fine.” Her voice cracked on the words.
Setting one bottle on the nightstand next to a clock with digital red letters, he took the other and twisted off the cap before passing it to Maren. “So, I did a little thinking on my short walk and I came to the decision that I should sleep on the couch tonight.”
Maren took a swig of water and kept it in her mouth before swishing it down. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, Grady. There’s plenty of room. I don’t take up a lot of space.”
“Yeah, I know, but I don’t trust myself with you tonight. I also feel like I owe you an apology for all of that earlier.” He waved a hand in an all encompassing sweep. “I got carried away and I feel like there’s a lot more you and I need to sort through before we take that next step. If we take that next step.”
There was a lot they needed to talk about. Specifically, the love letter written to another woman that he kept stowed away in his billfold like a keepsake.
“But it’s been a long day and it’s late,” he said, a yawn tacked on in perfect timing. “I don’t think staying up and sorting through this will be very productive. There’s a lot to go over. A lot to figure out and discuss.”
Maren was grateful for that realization. “I agree. There is a lot.”
“Yep.” He bent forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “So, tomorrow then?”
“Tomorrow.”
24
Grady
Grady wasn’t sure how Kiley’s letter had ended up on the motel room floor, but he had to assume that it had fallen out during the credit card exchange with the woman from the lobby. He’d hung onto that piece of paper for so long that he sometimes forgot it was still there. Like a fifty dollar bill you just couldn’t bring yourself to spend, he waited for the perfect opportunity to hand it over to the one person who needed to read it the most. He just wasn’t sure if that time would ever come.
When he’d returned from his five-minute search for water, something had shifted in Maren. Sure, she’d greeted him with a large grin, but it was unnatural and when she smiled it, he sensed how disingenuous it looked.
He knew they needed to talk. It wasn’t that he was too tired to. He would stay up forever sorting out their feelings if it meant he even stood one small chance at a shot with Maren.
But he’d pushed for them to wait on it because he already knew what she would say. It was selfish, really, but if he could cling to his naïve hope for one night more, he’d greedily take that opportunity. Tonight, he wasn’t strong enough to endure her words of rejection. It would crush him beyond repair.
The night was restless, but it wasn’t discomfort that had him tossing and turning. When sunrise broke through the curtains, he threw in the towel and got up. Maren was still sleeping soundly, her small body tucked under a mound of covers and her breathing light and rhythmic. Grady admired her sweetly before he scribbled a note and left her to her rest.
Two hours later, he had the keys to a rental car in his hands, a tow truck already transporting his broken down vehicle back to Riverburn, and a paper bag with two bagels and cream cheese for a mediocre but practical breakfast.
Maren was twisting a braid into her hair when Grady got back to the room.
“Is that what I hope it is?” Her fingers nimbly secured the hair tie to the ends and she spun around, grabbing for the bag with flapping hands.
“Depends. Were you hoping for a stale bagel and some questionable cream cheese?”
She laughed and opened the bag. “I’m honestly just so hungry that even that sounds delicious.” She ripped off a mouthful of one of the bagels. “What’s our plan for today?”
Spinning the key ring around his finger, Grady said, “I got us a rental car that’s all gassed up and ready to go. We can leave any time you’re ready.”
“What about the truck?” She swiped a crumb from her mouth with the back of her hand.
“I already met the tow truck driver at the lot this morning. My truck’s currently en route to Riverburn as we speak.”
Shoulders slumped, Maren looked apologetic. “So you’re really just waiting on me then? I’m sorry, Grady. You should’ve woken me up.”
“Not a chance. You needed your sleep. Plus, I want you awake for this car ride back home. There’s some stuff I really need to talk to you about.”
Maren nodded. “I agree.” She popped the last bite of bagel into her mouth. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
Grady’s thumbs tapped against the steering wheel of the silver gray rental sedan. He’d often thought that the rumbles, buzzing, and indistinguishable humming inside his old truck was an unwelcome annoyance, but he soon found there was a comfort in that predictable white noise. The quiet confines of the rental car had him hearing his own heartbeat in his ears and it nearly drove him mad.
“So, how do we do this?” he asked, finally. “Where do we start?”
“I know I have a lot of questions,” Maren admitted.
“Good. Then let’s start with those. What do you want to ask?”
Maren cleared her throat softly, like she was about to recite a speech. “Why weren’t you at my dad’s funeral?”
If he hadn’t had both hands on the wheel, he surely would’ve swerved into the oncoming lane, that statement throwing him completely. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Maren said. “Oh.”
With a breath sucked in for courage, Grady divulged, “I just couldn’t be there, Mare.”
“That’s not really an answer.”
“I know. It’s not.” His knuckles whitened as his grip tensed on the wheel. “You know that I was the one to find your dad, right?”
“Yes. That’s what I’ve heard.”
Grady wasn’t sure how much he would—or should—share, but keeping it in any longer felt like trying to trap a sneeze. He just couldn’t do it.
“Your dad said a lot of things right before he passed, Mare. Confessed to some stuff that not a single one of us ever knew. He had a lot of skeletons that I don’t think he ultimately wanted to share his grave with. I couldn’t go to the service because I still needed to process those things. And I knew I couldn’t do that if I was clouded by whatever was said about him at the memorial.”
“So you mean you couldn’t sit there and listen to people who loved him say good things about him?”
“No.” He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. I was still really angry with him at that point and it wouldn’t have been good for anyone if I’d been there. The truth of the matter is, your dad was a different man than the one he portrayed to the outside world, you know?”
Maren’s lips thinned into a line. “No, I don’t know, Grady. That’s why I need you to tell me.”
Was he really ready to do this? It didn’t seem he had much choice.
“What I’m trying to say is that your dad might not have been the hero you and your sisters always thought he was.”
“I think it’s fair to say your dad wasn’t exactly a hero, either.”