“Put this on for now.” He balled up the shirt and shoved it toward her.
Raising his hips to pull the keys out of his pocket, he gathered them in his hand and started the truck, keeping his eyes forward as Maren fiddled with his shirt. They both knew the road would be empty as soon as they hit the turn a quarter mile up by the old abandoned silos, nothing but headlights illuminating the stretch of opaque highway in two piercing white beams.
“I’d tell you to close your eyes, but for fear of crashing, just don’t look over here for a minute, okay?”
Grady nodded. His hands white-knuckled the steering wheel and his breaths turned into pants that he couldn’t rally into a steady rhythm. They were staccato and choppy which made him dizzy.
He wouldn’t break that vow, but he was a red blooded, seventeen-year-old boy. The thought of Maren sliding out of her soiled top and into his sweatshirt just a foot away did something to his brain. His palms filled with sweat. He’d never been so aware of his Adam’s apple and the painful, drawn out bob of it as he swallowed as soundlessly as he could. Even with the effort to go unnoticed, he gulped.
Tugging his shirt over her head, Maren shimmied in her seat, wriggling her arms until she drew her shirt out through the sleeve opening like a magician pulling out a handkerchief. Maren laughed. “All done.”
His gaze swung to meet hers. There she sat in his truck, in his shirt, doing terrible things to his heart. “How on earth did you do that?”
“All girls know how to do that.” Maren yanked open the glove box and retrieved an empty plastic bag to place her soda-stained shirt into. She dropped it to the floorboards and shot Grady a smirk. “You didn’t even try to steal one small, little peek.”
“Because you told me not to!” His voice cracked. He was suddenly twelve all over again.
Again, Maren giggled. Her hands came up to her mouth as though she could hold in her laughter. “I know I told you not to, but that’s what I’m supposed to say, right? Because I’m supposed to be a good girl.”
“You are a good girl, Maren. Always have been.”
“I know. And I’m kind of tired of it.”
That wasn’t a statement Grady ever thought he’d hear Maren utter. Of course, she was a good girl. But Grady figured her sudden interest in the likes of Rafe was an attempt to change that title. It didn’t need changing. Nothing about Maren needed changing. She was as good as gold just the way she was.
“You’re a good girl, Mare.” Grady nodded decisively. “Nothing wrong with that. Not one single thing. In fact, there’s everything right with it. It’s just who you are.”
Maren slumped against the amber leather seat and fiddled with the foam that sprung from a crack along the torn seam. Her fingers played with the material and her head lolled back against the rest, eyes closing.
“Maybe I’m tired of being the good girl, Grady.” Grady happened to be looking right at her and not the road the moment her head dropped to her shoulder and her eyes fluttered open and connected with his. “Maybe you should be the one to make me not so good anymore.”
As much as her statement made his heart collide with his ribcage like it was attempting to jump out, Grady couldn’t put any stock in it.
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Mare.” Grady turned his head to face forward and let the painted yellow line become his focal point, rather than the intense emerald of Maren’s eyes that continued to stare at him even when he was no longer looking.
“I know what I’m saying,” she said in the smallest voice. She sounded so dejected that Grady couldn’t respond. It felt better to not even acknowledge it.
The drive lasted another twenty minutes, but these minutes were silent, save for the noise of the truck as it rumbled down the highway. They had always been comfortable with the quiet, but this quiet had a strain to it and Grady couldn’t relax.
Right before he flipped the blinker to turn into her drive, Maren spoke. “Being your girl wouldn’t make me bad, anyway,” she said in a quiet, but sure, voice. “You’re one of the good ones, Grady. You’re so good.”
“I’m not all that good.” His thoughts. His wants.
“Yes.” She smiled and her eyes grew small. “You really are.”
They reached her house and he turned off the truck. The engine hissed as it cooled and the crickets chorused outside. Grady expected Maren to jump down from the cab and skip up to her house like she usually did. She’d turn around under the porch light and shoot him one last wave. The smile on her face would stretch ear to ear. Grady would smile back widely, even though she wouldn’t be able to see him in the dark.
But she didn’t do that tonight. She was probably working through her story, what she planned to say to her father. Maren certainly wasn’t allowed to date Rafe Rivers, and sneaking off to the rodeo was her first offense. Staying at the rodeo while her date became intoxicated was another.
“I’ll talk to your dad tomorrow,” Grady said, knowing he could ease her worry and lessen whatever punishment her father saw appropriate for this particular matter. “I’ll tell him I was a dummy and invited Rafe along,” Grady offered. “It’ll be fine. Promise.”
Maren twisted her fingers in her lap, like she was knitting them together. Her shoulders sank. “Don’t you ever get tired of coming to my rescue, Grady?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you always bail me out. Don’t you get tired of it? At some point, I’m going to have to learn to pay for my mistakes. You can’t always cover for me and we both know there will come a day when I won’t have you there to do my dirty work.”
Grady shook his head. He knew she’d always dreamed of going away to school, of leaving this barbed wire town and making a life for herself somewhere different. She’d talked about it since she was a little girl. But that didn’t make the countdown until graduation any less dreadful for Grady. He couldn’t imagine a life without Maren at the very center of it.
“It’s what friends do, Mare,” he finally said. “I know you’d do the same for me.”
“Sure, but something about it doesn’t feel entirely fair. You shouldn’t have to deal with my father when it comes to my dating mistakes.”
Grady’s mouthed pricked up at the corner. “So you’re admitting Rafe is a mistake?”
“Of course. He’s a mess and I knew that when I agreed to go with him to the rodeo.”
“So, why did you go then?”
She paused. “Because you were going.”
“Mare, you know you could’ve just come with Kiley and me.”
Maren rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause that wouldn’t have been awkward, being a third wheel and all.”
“It wasn’t a date, Mare. Kiley and I aren’t like that.”
“Does Kiley know that?” Maren gave Grady a challenging smirk and when he didn’t offer a response, she leaned across the cab and pressed her lips to Grady’s cheek. They were soft but startling. In all the years they had known one another, they had never used their lips for anything other than talking.
Grady bit down on his own lip so hard he feared he’d draw blood.